All comics by virgoheart33

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by virgoheart33
1-29-05
Billy the stick figure got a job at a near by circus.
Hey! Have I seen you before? Do you work in the circus?
Yes I am new here.
What do you do exactly?
Well I will show you.
I hammer nails in my head!

 

by virgoheart33
1-29-05
Snowcheeks went on vacation, his choice was California.
Hello Miss, How are you today?
Hey snowman you're out of season. Spring is coming up.
What, but it is still winter!
Goodbye!
Santa someone told me I was out of season.
Did you go to California?

 

by virgoheart33
1-29-05
Diablo went to Jon's job to ask him some questions.
Jon do they eat Chickens this time of year?
Yes people eat chickens the whole year. Why did you ask?
Well my chicken friend wanted me to ask you. Hey do people eat roosters too?
Yeah. I eat roosters they are the best. Why did you ask?
Um...I gotta go now.
...Hey wait, I thought you were a turkey!

 

by virgoheart33
1-29-05
Kile wants Roboto to not interfer in his love life.
Mr. Roboto stop telling my girlfriend wrong information. Mr. Roboto I think you need to go back home in a box where you belong.
Fine I am going.
Jenny I have some bad news, Kile wants you to go back home in a box. He said that's where you belong.
What!
Hi Jenny ready to go to the movies?
Leave me alone! I am going home like you told me to.

 

by virgoheart33
3-09-05
Diablo is Applying for Animal Factory, while he is there he will run into some trouble.
Hello sir I want to apply for the Animal Factory job.
Hey! I did not know roosters can talk I must be doing too much drugs...anyways go see the manager of this joint she is over there.
Hi! you can go sign up over there okay!
Thank god now I can get paid!
Hey what's up Jon! Do you work here too?
Yeah, I check the Applications. I hope you know this is a butcher shop.

 

by virgoheart33
3-09-05
Hey Rabbit dude, have you seen any hot chicks around here?
I am a chick.
You're not a chick you're a rabbit chick.
This is just a costume, watch I will take it off.
Is that you rabbit chick? Wow I like the rabbit suit better.
Shut the hell up before I shove a carrot up your ass!

 

by virgoheart33
3-13-05
Is it my time yet cool cat. Meow!
I am sorry sir the SUV wasn't supposed to hit you...It was for the old Granny behind you. I am going to send you back okay.
Hey extreme red robot what are you up to?
Prepare to die!
Am I staying here this time Angel cat?
I am afraid so Spigot.

 

by virgoheart33
3-13-05
Bobby it is really creepy around here I am going to leave now.
Ok, Sherika see you at school tomorrow.
Hey boy what are you playing?
Cyber Extreme Galactic Virus Planet Killers From The Outer Universe.
Can I play after you?
Yeah sure you can borrow it, I am leaving soon anyway. I heard there is a killer on the loose with a knife asking to play with other people's video games.

 

by virgoheart33
3-13-05
That was a good joke phillip I am gonna go tell Diablo.
Sure go and tell him but he might be affended.
What do you call a rooster looking for gold?
Um I give up.
Rooster Nuggets!
Phillip told you that didn't he?

 

by virgoheart33
3-13-05
Hey Kid, are you selling some nuts?
I don't have any nuts.
Look at me... okay that's it I am going to tell my mom.
I don't have any nuts sorry!
Give my boy some nuts or I will kill you!
Uh oh I'm in trouble.

 

by virgoheart33
3-14-05
What's up cowboy! How is life in the old western these days?
Boy you have no idea about the wild west dont you, I know that you think it's like a Clint Eastwood western film, but it is not all it is cracked up to be when you get down to it.
I always wanted to be a cowboy when I was 5 years old.
That is nice, I always wanted be the bad guy, but here I am a regular cowboy.
Could you just be a bad guy if you wanted to?
Well obviously I did not get that part to play.

 

by virgoheart33
3-14-05
Bobby! Our school is being invaded by robots. I am leaving, see you whenever! That is if you come out alive.
Alright, bye Sherika see you soon.
Hello Earth-being what are you playing?
I am playing Mellow Yellow Demons Killing Robots of the Secret Sun of Jeptilla.
The heat from the Secret Sun...you can feel it from here can you. Warning Robots can not look at the game or they will turn into flames.

 

by virgoheart33
3-17-05
Where is your green? It is St. Patricks Day.
Oh I totally forgot all about it. I might get pinched today because of it.
Well I will see you later, I see some strangers with out green on.
See you later Dexx.
Brad gets in trouble with the police.
Officer what did I do? Why am I getting a ticket?
Your getting a ticket for not wearing green on St. Patricks Day, that means I have the right to pinch you.

 

by virgoheart33
3-17-05
Our last peformance is now, so give it up for Kid Ferrel!
I was walking butt naked on the street, then I went to get some toilet paper from the grocery store, because I had to wipe my ass,ass,ass, because I had to wipe my ass,ass,ass!
Kid Ferrel does the last song of the night.
I had my ass in a twist baby when I saw you, I was twisted in the ass, you twisted my ass so much you gave me a rash in the ass. Kiss my ass! Thank you audience!

 

by virgoheart33
3-18-05
Mr. Toothgnip stays at the new farm in Ontario, California.
Hey Mr.Toothgnip, I heard so much about you. I heard you came from Alabama, old country folk town is that right?
Yeah I came from Alabama... I see that dirty animal over yonder.
Mr.Toothgnip that is no animal that is a human.
Human you say... I am going down yonder to see that dirty human. Looks like he is stealing my goat food.
Look here yonder what are you doing with my animal treats?
Time to run!

 

by virgoheart33
3-18-05
A class of 5th graders are watching the Educational Video about Cigarettes.
Hello boys and girls I am here to teach you a thing or 2 about cigarettes.I am your host for the First part of the lesson.
Yes boys and girls don't clown around when it comes to smoking.I am the host of the second part.
Over here next to me is Granny May she has been smoking for 70 years.
When Granny May died, she turned into ashes. She always use to tell me she wanted to be a pile of stinky ash.

 

by virgoheart33
3-18-05
Hello boys and girls! Now I am going to tell you a story about cigarettes. Mr. Harris's daughter (Kristy) had to clean everything around the house, especially the toilet.
Kristy's Dad always had cigarette butts in the toilet. So one day Kristy called the plumber to take all the water out of the toilet and she replaced it with gasoline.When Mr. Harris went to go use the
bathroom and smoke a cigarette, he threw the cigarette butt into the toilet and his ass caught on fire. Kristy was happy that she did not have to clean the cigarette butts out of the toilet anymore.

 

by virgoheart33
3-20-05
Hi Everybody,today on my show we will talk to a man named Brad, Now Brad was addicted to pills and every time he takes them he sees Ozzy Osbournes head and it speaks to him, Now tell us your story.
Well, Dr. Phil I was sick one day so I went to the hosipital and they gave me some pills, The name of the pills were Icelophilona and I did not know what the effects were so I took 4 a day until now.
All I have to say is stop taking those pills. Do not let them control your life or you could lose everything, and I heard of Icelophilona and it's for your balls to stop itching.Thank you for coming!
Dr. Phil, what you just said does not help me at all.
An hour later at Brad's home.
Spiders in the night, Creeping round the walls,Now you'll feel him,Crawling over you.
Oh hell no not this again.

 

by virgoheart33
3-20-05
The real color of the room.
Ah shit! What the hell did mom do to the room?
She painted it green.
Mom, is Dad color blind?Because he thinks the room is green.
Yes, It is green.
This is the color that Chris sees the room as.
Dad, Mom colored the walls yellow instead of green didn't she. You guys thought you can trick me.
Son, I have something to tell you...you're color blind.

 

by virgoheart33
3-20-05
I'm going to kill you.
God is going to punish you for your actions, you will go to hell sir, may you die a painful death and the Devil shall eat you for dinner.
I hate Church!
Now would you care for some Jesus wine?
I am Atheist.
Get the hell out my of Christian Church.

 

by virgoheart33
3-20-05
Oh my god a new Superhero! What's your name Mr.?
I am Captain Sukmiazz.
Captain Sukmiazz? Is that name Japenese?
No.
Is it a porno name?
Yes.

 

by virgoheart33
3-20-05
Ah Jon where are you? I hate this haunted house, I can't see anything.
I am by the bathroom!
Jon come over here... Ah! who are you? Help Jon a guy with and axe is going to chop me up into little pieces!
What are you doing in my house, you crazy chicken?
I am not a chicken I am a rooster.
Ah man, I am allergic to rooster meat.

 

by virgoheart33
3-22-05
Chris is at School.
Hey what's up Chris how are you doing?
Not so good Donte, my dad told me I was colored blind the other day, what's next?
The bell rings to go to lunch.
Hey baby wanna grab a burger I'll pay for it?
Dude you're sick I am not a girl, you must have mistaken me for my sister.
Lucnch is over, back to class. Donte thinks Chris is gay because he saw what happened at lunch time.
Hey Chris are you gay?
Damn Donte, I don't get down like that.

 

by virgoheart33
3-22-05
Hi Sir what do you want from Meat Eaters Grand?
Do you serve Fish eggs my good man?
No Sir.
How about a shrimp Martini?
No Sir, but we do have some kick ass fried chicken strips.
Okay that will do.

 

by virgoheart33
3-23-05
Brad are you sure that you don't need a jacket?
Yes, I am sure Vid I am...fine.
Brad you look pale do you want to go back in your house?
No...do...don't...wor..worry...about...me.
Well I am going to my house it's too cold out here, see you later!
Wa..wa..wait..he..he...help...me.

 

by virgoheart33
3-23-05
Mom do I look okay for the costume Party?
Aw, you look so cute, I am sure your dad will be so proud!
How do I look?
Oh Shit, Martha there is a killer in the house!
Charles that was just our son, he is going to the costume party remember.
Oh, our son got arrested for trespassing. Sorry Honey, he made me pee on myself.

 

by virgoheart33
3-23-05
Dad is at the house trying to make the baby talk.
Say Da Da, come on say Da Da!
I don't want to say Da Da, Where is my milk you queer!
Mom also tries to make him talk.
Say Mommy, say Mommy!
Where in the hell is my milk at!
Babysitter comes.
Say Lily, say Lily.
Boobies!

 

by virgoheart33
3-23-05
Snowcheeks wants to go back to California for another vacation.
Santa I heard that it's raining in California, is that true?
I am afraid so Snowcheeks, it has been raining there just about every other week.
I heard that there has been tornadoes in Calfornia also, is that true Santa?
Yes, it is true, sounds like another Ice age is coming up, then you would survive longer than anybody Snowcheeks.
10 months later, Snowcheeks went to California.
I guess Santa was right.

 

by virgoheart33
3-23-05
Welcome to the Owl treats Motel, how may I serve you?
Well there is a Mouse in my room, can you exterminate it for me?
20 minutes later.
Scram! you're disturbing my customers mouse!
I am staying here, that guy could share a room!
The mouse is gone, how did you exterminate it?
I ate him, and he was very delicious too.

 

by virgoheart33
3-23-05
Chris now works at Spankling's Video Store.
Hey kid,where is the Beer Wrestling Video?
It is two rows over to the right.
38 minutes at lunch time.
My Job sucks ass Donte, I feel like kicking people's asses for asking me stupid shit. Like one time this guy asked me where is the movie Jungle Bunnies and he already had it in his hand.
Well I am sorry you feel that way Chris, maybe you should work at the Play Boy Store with me. I see a hot ass chick every other day.
After lunch Chris goes back to work with some issues on his shoulder.
Chris lets get to the point you're fired for showing lack of happiness.
I'll show you happiness...When I shove my foot up your ass.

 

by virgoheart33
3-23-05
Brookyln, New York
What is up my Bitch?
Who you callin' a bitch, Honkie? Damien! Come handle this Honkie!
What is up my man?
Why you call my Hoe a Bitch, Honkie?
My Daddy's cousin is Black.
You're lucky you passed Honkie, cuz I was gonna set fire to your ass!

 

by virgoheart33
3-24-05
Damn Jamalia, why did you take me on this damn Cruise? It's gonna be like the Titanic in this mother fucka! Damn and you know I can't swim!
Ah shut the fuck up Lenny! This damn Cruise cost me 5,000 dollars each, for me and your scary ass. Nothing is going to happen okay!
Damn this Cruise cost that much thank you sister. I am sorry I over reacted.
Shut it Lenny! Those damn Honkies are looking at us over there.
1 Hour later there was an annoucement that the Ship is going to sink.
Lenny we the last people on this ship come on! Ah shit, the boats leaving us. Oh well Lenny you're on your own, at least I can swim!
Jamalia! I'm gonna die! Help me please, There sharks in that water, it is too dark outside how am I gonna see while I'm swimming? Jamalia!

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