All comics by weird4

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by weird4
8-24-05
It all started at 7:12 pm
Hey. Don't you know it's getting dark?
Yeah. Why do you ask?
Well the sun is coming down.
Yeah? And you're point is?
Now do you understand what I'm saying?
Thanks a lot you witch.

 

by weird4
7-31-07
Who killed Kenny? by weird4
Hey. I just want to let you know that the meetings going to start in 10 minuites.
I must not be disturbed.
Kenny's weird.
Tell me about it.

 

by weird4
7-31-07
2:30 PM- Meeting ends
Oh I forgot to meantion that it's national safety week.
Well thanks for telling me. Where's Kenny?
OH MY FREAKING GOD!! I'M DEAD!
It's because you caught yourself on fire on national safety week.

 

by weird4
7-31-07
Oh thank God. Have you seen Kenny?
"It started when I was watching the front door until Kenny walked in."
Morning Kenny. How's it going?
Where do I have to go just to get some soda around here?
This is a no smoking zone.
AAAAAAAAA!! HOLLY C*** I'M DIEING!

 

by weird4
7-31-07
Tell everyone that Kenny's dead.
Quick! Tell everyone Kenny's dead.
I have no idea who you are but tell everyone Kenny's dead.
You fired me a year ago.

 

by weird4
7-31-07
Listen you. I swear I didn't kill Kenny.
How should I know you're not lying?
Steve, we've been buddies since 1984.
So you didn't kill him?
Yes.
Oh my God you *******.

 

by weird4
7-31-07
Somthing looks suspicious here. I just can't tell what it is.
OH MY GOD! YOU IDIOT! OVER HERE!
Who said that?

 

by weird4
7-31-07
So I see things are going well so far.
You killed yourself.
Well at least I'm not an idiot.
Where am I?
You'll learn someday. You'll learn.

 

by weird4
7-31-07
Hows the hunt going?
Not much has happened.
I found some ashes in the basement talking to me. it sounded like Kenny.
I despise you.
Want coffee later?

 

by weird4
7-31-07
I've been doing calculations and so far I think I have an answer.
Great! Who killed Kenny?
According to the ashes DNA, it was...Kenny.
You *******!!
I know sir. I know.
Mind getting me some coffee?

 

by weird4
7-31-07
Oh my God! Are you that guy who went to war?
No. I'm that comedian who sunk on the Titainic.
That rocked my socks!! Do you have special powers?
Sure do.
HOLLY ****! This is better than work.
Did you know I turned Michael Jackson white?

 

by weird4
7-31-07
Good thing I ran into you here.
What do you want? Can't you see I'm visiting Kenny's grave.
Just wanted to give you a promotion to Kenny's job.
V.I.P Golden Press Counceler?
My slave!
I hate you.

 

by weird4
7-31-07
DAD! Thank God it's you!
I'm not your dad.
Get away from me you stalker.
DAD! Thank God it's you!

 

by weird4
7-31-07
I should be the next president because I want to make my country proud.
I should be the next president because I have a lot of money I can give to the citizens here.
Uh..Yeah. I have nothing to say.

 

by weird4
8-01-07
I'm running away from my problems.
Where do you think you're going?
You know it's ilegal to do that right?
So I then punched him in the head and I got here.

 

by weird4
8-01-07
What are you doing after school?
Nothing. What do you wana do?
I was thinking of doing somthing fun.
Meet me at my place at 6:00
Uh..This isn't what I had in mind.
Just imagine this in 20 years.

 

by weird4
8-02-07
I got mauled by a bear.
Holly ****! What happened to you?
Since our office is 100 yards away from the forest.
Since when?
We'll be right back after these commercials.
That's good old fashion racism.

 

by weird4
8-04-07
Holly ****! You're my dad!
Uh..No. Besides, it's ilegal for gay people to be here.
I'm not gay. I'm just high on sugar.
Your son came by. He says hi.

 

by weird4
8-04-07
Hey sweet thang! How did you die?
My creator didn't draw me a mouth.
Looks like I'm not the only one here whose crazy.

 

by weird4
8-04-07
Got some spare change?
Are you interested in joining the army?
It's days like this when there should be a people blocker.

 

by weird4
8-04-07
HOLLY ****! YOU'RE GOD!
Yes. And you're that idiot who caught himself on fire. What can I do for you?
I'd like to be alive again.
Well. That was fun while it lasted.

 

by weird4
8-04-07
Hey Kenny! You're alive!!
Mark buddy!! Hows it going?
Well it's great to know you're alive. How's it possible?
A good friend of mine brought me here. I'm going to get some soda.
Later...
HOLLY ****! You're back!
Yeah!! Let's see a movie and I'll tell you everything.

 

by weird4
8-04-07
I have bad news Mr. Morgan. Your wife died in a plane crash.
Dag namb it. Since when? 9/11?
Yeah. I remember when I was a kid. The same thing happened to me.
10 years back
I have bad news...I ran out of cash so now I'm going to make those cheesy TV dinners.

 

by weird4
8-04-07
Greetings everyone. I'm here with Saitain. So Mr. Devil sir, what do you plan to do to Bush when he isn't the president anymore?
BUSH IS STILL ALIVE?!
Wow. He sure hates Bush.

 

by weird4
8-04-07
So that you're done with Bush, tell me about Borak Obama.
God d**n it. I need a break. Obama doesn't know who he's messing with. Be right back.
Hehe. I should've told you he hates polotics.

 

by weird4
8-04-07
Sir, do you hate polotics?
Yes.
Is Dick Cheny a freak or a bozo?
Both.
If you could be president for the day, what would you do?
I'd sue them all!!

 

by weird4
8-06-07
Now Mr. Devil sir, final question. Who do you think will in the presidental election?
No one because they all can kiss my shiny red..
So I switched to you. Saitin was too evil.
Can I see some I.D? I get nervous.

 

by weird4
8-06-07
WHAAAAAAAA!! HOLLY ****!
What's wrong with you?
You're not my father!!
Uh..Okay.
OH MY GOD! You're Dick Cheny right?

 

by weird4
8-07-07
This is the day champ. Once you get a hole in 1, you'll get a kick in the a** as a job well done.
Is that a good thing?
Well if you miss, then I'll slap you until I get tired of it.
Oh jeez.

 

by weird4
8-08-07
Hey man. Isn't it weird that we're both crazy lunitics?
Actually, I stopped smoking yesterday.
Oh really?
Yeah. Now I'm going to be like Paris Hilton.
You're going to go to teenage partys?
C****!

 

by weird4
8-08-07
Hey. Wanna go out sometime?
I'm sorry. I don't date people who are on crack.
Damn. How'd you know?
I'm your therapist.
The next day
Hey wanna go out sometime?
Sure..I guess.

 

by weird4
8-08-07
#1: Thank him/her for a lovely time.
I really enjoyed our date today. Anything you wanna say?
Next time, don't drive with your eyes closed.
So? How'd it go?
I can't believe she read my talk bubble.

 

by weird4
8-09-07
Ways to end a date #2: Kiss her before you leave.
I had a great time.
Hehe. Me to.
Mind if I kiss you?
Uh..Okay I guess.
But don't overdo it.
What took you so long?
It rocked!

 

by weird4
8-10-07
#3: Offer to walk them in
Mind if I walk you in?
Well I guess so.
Wow. This place is a dump.
*gasp* How rude!!
Ooohh...Loser.
I got dumped.

 

by weird4
8-10-07
Hey man! I bet you a buck I can chug a full beer.
Oh yeah? Well I bet you $10 if you chug 3 beers.
Oh yeah!? I bet you $500 if you can chug 300 beers all at the same time.
I'LL GIVE YOU ALL OF MY MONEY IF YOU CHUG EVERY BEER HERE!
See kid, this is why you should never gamble..
I bet you $300 that guy with the beard will win.

 

by weird4
8-11-07
Isn't it weird how life works? I mean, so many people these days just won't stop wasting their money. Just take George Bush for example.
Well, I just think that we should be more mature with the world.
How do you plan to do that?
Well, I have a friend of mine working on the plan now..Wonder what's taking him so long.
Mind letting me out of here? I had somthing to do 10 years ago. I just forgot what it was...
Give me some crack and I'll think about it.

 

by weird4
8-11-07
I enjoyed our date.
Me to. Wanna booger?
EEWWWWWWW NO!!
What? You're 26 right?
Oh. Her MySpace profile said she was 26.
She was 17..

 

by weird4
8-11-07
Welcome to Blind Date where we take 2 random strangers and put them together for a day! Meet Marci and Jon. Let's see how this date goes.
Hey. I'm Marci.
I'm Jon.
Oh. That's a nice name.
Hehe thanks.
Uh..You realise I can see your thoughts right?
I hope this date goes well.

 

by weird4
8-11-07
First Stop: Arcade World
So what do you do for living?
I live with a friend of mine in an apartment. The rates are fair. I get free food.
Jon doesn't like beef...
Really? I work at a diner at "Beef Village"
Oh..
But likes M Rated shows
I like watching South Park..What about you?

 

by weird4
8-12-07
He's gonna lie in 3
Wanna dance?
Lemme think..
2
Mmmmmm...Say it.
1
Oh ok..Lets get out of here.
Okay.

 

by weird4
8-13-07
Stop 2: Dinner A la Mode
Here we are. This is a fancy restaurant so please behave.
You can do it. Say somthing...
What did I do wrong?
You kept stoping every time you saw a airplane..
At least she was hotter than this date.

 

by weird4
8-14-07
Look, please don't embarass me! Like all of my friends come here.
Sure. I mean, it's not like one of them is watching this show.
Really, her friends do watch Blind Date!
Well that's just a waste of time!
It is?
See ya folks.
Okay I'm out of here..
We're through.

 

by weird4
8-15-07
I see you're back from your date.
Yeah. It was horrible. I couldn't focus on what I was doing.
Why that?
She was smoking hot!

 

by weird4
8-16-07
What kind of place is this?
Art gallery.
Who the hell would make this? I make everything!
Uh..Famous people?
Take a good look at where you're going to be when you die.
Whatever.

 

by weird4
8-17-07
Holly crap! Did you see his face? Soon enough we'll rule the world.
HELL YEAH!! *ahem* Uh...yeah..about that..
You left the door open again didn't you?
Uh...I guess I did yeah.

 

by weird4
8-18-07
August 2007
Excuse me. Are you Dr. Melvin?
Yes I am. In fact, I asked you to come here today to test out my universal time porter.
What the hell is that?
Just step into the machine and it'll read your mind to where you wanna go.
December 2007
Wow! Are you made of meat or candy?
Sure thing kid. Like candy? Santa has a ton of crack in his place. I'm made of beer and booze.

 

by weird4
8-19-07
Hey there. Whats in there?
Kid! What the hell? I can't tell ya! You have to wait til Christmas.
WHAAAAAAA!!
Fine..Look you know a kid named Jimmy?
If I kill him, can I have his gift?
No.

 

by weird4
8-19-07
What are you doing here anyway? It's Christmas Eve. The big guy has things to do.
HAHA! LIKE YOUR MOM!
No...Besides that was racist. We elfs don't have moms.
WHHHAAAA!! YOU CHEAP *******!
I know how ya feel.

 

by weird4
8-20-07
OH MY GOD! YOU'RE SANTA!!
Yes..Yes I am. I suppose you're Mr. Myers son.
Wow! You're smart!
I understand that you traveled here for Christmas. All I can say is sorry son. You have to wait like everyone else.
WHAAAAA!! THIS SUCKS!
At least there's more time to be normal.

 

by weird4
8-21-07
Well you should go back home. I'm sure your family misses you.
Screw that! My parents a gonna die in 4 years.
So?
He doesn't understand me anymore.
Tell me about it.

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