All comics by wuality

 

by wuality
6-15-03
Oh my god, what happened to that poor police officer?!
He fell.
His head is severed from his body!
He fell on his keys.
His intestines are all over the sidewalk!
He fell on his keys in an awkward angle.

 

by wuality
6-15-03
Okay, so two dead bodies, that's four kidneys, two hearts, four lungs. Taking in account the guy from yesterday, my profit will be....
FREEZE!
This is the secret Kangaroo Strike Force, you are under arrest for the murder of fifteen people, including four police officers. What do you have to say for yourself?
Fancy a kidney?

 

by wuality
6-15-03
So, you're that mass murderer, eh? Well that won't bother noone in here! We love new people, especially handsome young men like yourself.
In here we're all one big LOVING family. By the way, you will be sharing a bed with me, due to the recent government cutdowns on prison budgets.
GUARD! May I please borrow that sharp looking nail clipper of yours?
I hope you won't mind me grinding my groin against you in my sleep. It's an old habit.

 

by wuality
6-15-03
That's a good donkey. Now just hold still, this wont hurt a bit..
Mommy, what is that man doing to his donkey?
I think he's feeding it sweetheart... no wait.. Oh my lord, cover your eyes, dear! Mommy is going to call the police.
And that is how I ended up here! Thanks for asking.
I didn't ask, and if I wasn't so afraid of touching you I'd break your neck with my bare hands.

 

by wuality
6-15-03
The scythe slipped! I'm as innocent as a child! They framed me! I'm really an undercover cop! You can't prove anything!
Mister Kraken, you are charged with murder, violence resulting in death, and unwanted assisted suicide.
It was an accident! I tripped! I acted in self defense! I was blackmailed into doing it! I was being controlled by a microchip in my brain!
Several of your victims have been found in horrible shape, cut into pieces to the point where we could hardly identify them.
I'm a victim of society!
Countless witnesses have seen you hacking at the corpses, screaming quotes from the satanic bible.

 

by wuality
6-15-03
In court.
All rise for the honourable Judge Birnbooner.
Jeremiah D Kraken, you have been charged with the murders of fifteen people. How do you plead?
Your honour, as the appointed attorney for mister Kraken, I would like to..
Fools! I am your bane! I am the black angel of death! My lord Lucifer has sent me upon you, like one of the plagues of Egypt, and I will not rest untill you have all perished by my blood-stained hand.
Shall I note that as a "Not guilty" your honour?

 

by wuality
6-15-03
The court has decided that mister Kraken will be placed in a maximum security mental institution..
.. where he is to remain untill a time when he can be deemed sane, after which he is to be transfered to the death row to be executed.
You don't have to thank me. It was a pleasure to help.

 

by wuality
6-16-03
I think I may just have a chance to escape.
But I'll need someone crazy enough to help me.
Hail, masked one! Hast thou mayhap any idea on how to escapeth yonder dungeon? I seeketh to slay evil where ever I shall find it.

 

by wuality
6-16-03
Retrieve thy scythe of the heavens from yonder guarded room? Aye, my newfound comrade, for I master stealth, and combat.
Seeing him get shot by the guard will be interesting. He doesn't even have arrows for that bow.
Hey! What are you- ARGH! *choke* *gag*
Whoa! Creative use of bow string!

 

by wuality
6-16-03
Good work. Come with me, we're going to escape through the kitchen.
Huzzah! The gods smile upon us!
Sorry, but the kitchen is closed until we get more raw meat.
Get out of my way, I'm going to-.. wait.. Raw meat, you say?
Two problems solved at the price of one.
Gadzooks! Another evildoer struck down by a righteous blade!

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