President Bush tries to convince a San Bernardino elementary school class that Waldo is a member of Al Qaeda, pointing out the hidden terrorist in an activity book, along with cryptic threats of mass destruction. When informed by several students that Islamics don't normally wear red and white striped clothing, the President accused them of being French and vowed substantial cuts in their school lunch program.
"Yeah, We was getting mighty sick about all those civil liberties folks takin' exception to our new Bills, all that hooey about 'inalienable rights' and 'due process', so we just used the word "Pre-amble" to cover all that stuff instead. Now no-one reads the damn thing anymore, and we can do whatever we want!"
"Little girl, can you show good ol' Mr. President what that word 'tween 'God' and 'America' says? The only reason I know either one of them thar words is cuz momma stitches 'em on mah underoos."
Let's not belittle the achievements of this administration. In 1999, only 11% of all fifth grade students could read better than the President of the United States. Now that number is up to 63%.
