Jimmy the SNARF couldnt believe his luck as the two shellfish passed and promptly proceeded to track the pair to a local strip club where he began sniffing the crustaceans' bicycle seats in apparent extacy before club bouncers removed him from the premises.

The X Games are silly.

The IOC quickly became suspicious of the Chinese cycling team.

It's no use. The squid has a Harley.

I'll get you, Dorothy! And your little scallop, too!

Too bad the next event wasn't photographed. I could have used that "Hey, look at that S-Car-Go!" joke.

"You can boil it, broil it, sautee it, fry it, race it in the Tour De France, bake it, grill it..."

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Too bad the next event wasn't photographed. I could have used that "Hey, look at that S-Car-Go!" joke.

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Rick Moranis REALLY regrets making "Honey I shrunk the Rocky Horror Transylvanians".

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Too bad the next event wasn't photographed. I could have used that "Hey, look at that S-Car-Go!" joke.

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I think the first time I heard that joke I was about 10. It's getting a little stale.

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Peddle faster, Jake! The butter truck is gainin'!

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Pedal faster, Jake! The butter truck is gainin'!

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- Though most thought Sea World a happy buttery bin of oceanic love, they treated mascots who didn't "bring in the numbers" quite inhumanely.

- Jesus. How do they expect us to pedal in these dress shoes?