How about, 'Fuck. Why couldn't I have been at that wedding?'.

Guess which one gets married next.

It's all fun and games 'til someone loses an eye.

"Dear Diary... This year I have a secret advantage. By rapidly shedding my clothes, I know I can jump just a fraction of an inch higher!"

"O.K. everybody -- what famous landmark am I? The EYE-FULL TOWER! Tee Hee!"

.... and, oddly enough, every boy between 10 and 16 attending the reception disappeared for exactly four minutes immediately after Lisa's "little accident."

That's what I call flash photography.

She got the bouquet, but she also got two black eyes...

- What a great day! She'd caught flowers from the bride and syphilis from the groom.

- Behind her, a furry flash scampers past. And Eddie'd trained his monkey well.
- Hands were flying upward, and breasts were flying outward. And as a wayward pinky brushed a nipple, Joe knew his impotence was cured.

- Actually she'd pulled 'em out before the throw hoping to psyche a few of them out.

- From this day forward till her death, she'd be known by family as Booby McFlower.

--And in that moment, the groom wondered whether he'd married the right set of breasts... er... woman.