- "Nope, Chandra isn't in here either..."

"Why would anyone put free bird seed in an ACME cannon?"

"Jesus -- I lost a comic contest to Wirthling! Goodbye, cruel world!"

I'll have to tell the guys in the band about this. It's small, but the acoustics are great!

Early MRI technology was somewhat crude.

- Then, defying all known laws of Physics, the cannon exploded, the broken barrel formed into a grass skirt, and Ben, happy to be alive, did a little hula dance.

- Projectile vomiting.

- Hello little minutes.

- Joe Green's future descendents would have showed this picture at slideshows for years. That is if there hadn't been a similar incident with an elephant and he had lived long enough to procreate.

- Okay, aimed cannon? Check. Lit fuse? Check. Put cannonball in? Che...did I? Well, there's only one to tell.

- A young John Paul III liked working on canons as well.

quote:

---

- Projectile vomiting.

---

- "Hey, Yosemite Sam! There's a party goin' on in here!"

- "Moooom, I'm sorry I hit the tiger with a rock, now can I PLEASE take my head out?"

- And so, the foot-first human cannonball was born!

I don't know.

- What would you get if you crossed Joseph Guillotin with Charleton Heston?

- "My god, it's full of stars!"

- Barrel of Fun

- "Mistress Sally, Slave is ready for his punishment."

- While the wirthling-brush thorougly cleans the inside of even the sootiest artillery, the head does have a tendency to snap off. --Consumer Reports

- The pay was abysmal, but it was a thrill for Igor to work as a tuner for the great Tchaikovsky.

-William didnt quite understand how his Iron Lung worked

-On top of the Empire state building, the first built in telescoping view finders were a bit unwieldy.

-Joe Foreman's prototype juice machine

-19th century optomitrist test.

-Mongloid diving helmet

- No mowe buewets!
No more bulwets?!?
BOOM
Oh, One buewet weft!!!

- He's just a shell of a man.

- "My law professor told me to get my head into the city ordnance."

... And the sad thing is, we never had a handyman of that caliber again.

--"I looked into artillery, and it was a big bore."

-And I thought Wirthling was only being gay when he told me he wanted to shoot in my face

-Matchy-

-The Fantastic Four movie was cancelled when it turned out there was no one who could hold up the helmet on the Galactus costume.

- "I'm sure it's perfectly safe. I just want to see how fast the cannonball comes out."

- "Unbelievable! Another dud sh-" *BOOM!*

- Bertram really got into Pachelbel's Cannon in D.

- After the "Cheeses of the World" exhibit, and "Dryer Lint Land", the "World's Biggest Combos(tm) Pretzel Snack" was a big draw at Dumbfuckland.

-"I DON'T SEE ANY GODDAMN STRIPPERS HERE!"

With his distinctive hairstyle, wirthling made an ideal barrel-scrubber...

quote:

---

With his distinctive hairstyle, wirthling made an ideal barrel-scrubber...

---

- Applebee's " Big Assed Cannon Full Of Chili " didn't quite make it to the final stages of the franchise's business plan.