Recently I made and lost a bet that involved the arrival date of a shipment of certain items via the U.S. Post Office. At stake was a bowl of gravy and my digestive system.

The outcome is presented here via dramatic recreation:

It doesn't seem so repulsive.

MMMM... Thanksgiving-y.

The taste is piquant with just a hint of lard.

Not gonna' puke. Not gonna' puke. Not gonna'

Ohh. There's a lot more clinging to the sides than I thought!

Alright! I'm a big Jackass! Three Cheers For King Loser! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!

You had to have gravy shipped specifically to you?

OMFG...you had to have horrifying deconstructive plastic surgery just because you lost a bet?

You idiot! You were supposed to smoke a bowl of 'Grade A'.

I want to lose that bet :(

It's no gravy.

Gravy is great on mashed potatoes. Or fries. Or fried chicken. Or biscuits. Hell, I just like gravy. Mmm, mmm, mmm.

Gravy is good on almost anything that is salty. Hamburgers and gravy is awesome. I've actually made a gravy and mushroom soup before. That was amazingly good.

You dribbled some on your chin.

Oh, it was gravy all right.

Butt gravy!

From a butt!

Kentucky Fried Chicken gravy, now that's the good stuff. I had a friend who worked for them and tried to explain to me all of the gross shit that was in there, but you know what? I don't care. KFC gravy is all gravy, baby.

KFC gravy on KFC mashed potatoes is so damn good it hurts. I think I mean that literally.

I've dipped my chicken, my biscuit, my french fries, and have even considered dipping my penis in that gravy before. It's that good.

Wasn't it supposed to have been even better back when Colonel Sanders used to go around to the different KFC's and personally kick asses?

I have to respect any guy who forces people to call him by his military rank years after he is no longer in the armed forces.

KFC Employee: "Oh hello Mr. Sanders, I--"
Colonel Sanders: "You will refer to me by my rank and seriel, private."
KFC employee: "Excuse me?"
Colonel Sanders: "I did not fight in the great Chicken War only to be referred to as 'Mr' Sanders. I am COLONEL Sanders, soldier!"
KFC employee: "Dude, whatever."

The episode of Family Guy is the best exponent of KFC related humour.

Did you know that Dave Thomas of Wendy's was also a Kentucky Colonel? He just didn't make it a permanent part of his image like Harlan Sanders did.

That's nothing. Ronald McDonald was a four star general.

Ronald McDonald was only a general in the sodomy brigade.

One of my brother-in-law's great ideas is to sell gravy skins like fruit roll-ups. Pudding skins too.

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One of my brother-in-law's great ideas is to sell gravy skins like fruit roll-ups. Pudding skins too.

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My next bet will involve drinking an entire fifth of Southern Comfort in one sitting. That is, if I lose.

On an entirely unrelated sidenote, I was discussing a co-worker named Gabriel with my mate the other day. She doesn't get along with this kid too well, and after I referred to him as "Gabe" she remarked, "I hate Gabe! And I knew a Gabe back home I hated too! In fact, there were a couple Gabe's I've known, and they all were dicks. I hate all Gabes!"

So I pose this question: Do you think my lady would hate OUR Gabe? I mean, c'mon, it's GABE! Everyone likes Gabe!

What about Wirthling?

Wirthling is a floating head. He doesn't hate anyone or anything.

Except salsa.

The only Gabe I've been able to tolerate in my entire life is Gabe_Billings. This one kid named Gabe I used to tell him that his real last name was "Oy".

Hey, I was 11 at the time.

I Googled "man gravy" and got the following:

"What we weren't expecting was for this whore to get so attached after recieving a shot of Anthony's man gravy all over her face and in her mouth."

--"Mom's Anal Adventure"
Author unknown

I did a search for Bumgravy, the band whose name would not die, and got this:
http://www.joe-ks.com/archives_mar2004/Worst_Rock_Bands.htm

Some of them are hilarious.

Artemis, has anyone ever told you that you look like David Cross, but with hair?

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I Googled "man gravy"...

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Those aren't even close to the worst band names ever. My friend entered a worst band names contest with "Vaginal Blood Fart" but was beaten out by "Jesus Hitler and the Shit Niggers."

Jesus Hitler and the Shit Niggers? I don't think that's the worst band name I've ever heard. I think it's the funniest.

The worst band name I've ever heard is a local band in NY called "Double Down", folowed by "Sixdawg".

"Yahoo! Shopping is the best place to comparison shop for Man Gravy. Compare products, compare prices, read reviews and merchant ratings."

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"Yahoo! Shopping is the best place to comparison shop for Man Gravy... read reviews and merchant ratings."

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Oh really?