...a fine cigar (by fine I mean a 50 cent Black and Mild)

...Microwave Burritos

...my iPod

...Women

...X-Box

...Ford Cars

...Cadillac Trucks

...Cable Internet

...Honey Ham

...biped

... masturbating

... writing

... playing videogames

... getting drunk

.... complaining about things I hate. *sigh*

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...biped

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watchin' hoops on TV,
listenin' to Stevie (Wonder),
ridin' around on Schwinns,
...AND TWINS!!

Seriously, I have twin cousins.

...cats
...lesbian porn
...building Lego sets
...Batman
...strawberry banana smoothies
...a hot cup of Earl Grey on a cold winter evening
...watching others make asses of themselves
...playing back the tape of them making asses of themselves
....uranium

... playing music.

... dancing.

... moving!

... days that are about 60-68°F, sunny, breezy, and not too humid.

... Berke Breathed -- before Outland.

... single-malt scotch.

... trying new things, such as food. (I tried haggis on Tuesday.)

... biking through the park.

... Brussels sprouts. (Really!)

... royal blue.

... my favorite bands, which I won't be boring enough to list here.

... Banff, Alberta.

... making comics.

...Cheez Waffies

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...building Lego sets

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Maker's Mark Whiskey

singing to my dog

freestyle rapping over songs that weren't meant to have rapping in them

fishing. Not so much catching stuff, but the act of sitting by the water and quietly fishing.

that moment of getting to my car after a work day and realizing that I don't have to go back for a while.

Bratwurst

Pizza with everything on it

women

playing cards with friends

Your mom's ass.

... big butts and I cannot lie...

...You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waste
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung
Wanna pull up front
Cuz you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh, baby I wanna get with ya
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But with that butt you got
Me so horny
Ooh, rub all of that smooth skin
You say you wanna get in my Benz
Well use me, use me cuz you ain't that average groupy

I've seen them dancin'
The hell with romancin'
She sweat, wet, got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette

I'm tired of magazines
saying flat butt's the only thing
Take the average black man and ask him that
She gotta pack much back, so

Fellas (yeah), fellas (yeah)
Has your girlfriend got the butt (hell yeah)
Well shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake that healthy butt
Baby got back

(LA face with Oakland booty)

I like'em round and big
And when I'm throwin' a gig
I just can't help myself
I'm actin like an animal
Now here's my scandal

I wanna get you home
And ugh, double ugh, ugh
I ain't talkin' bout Playboy
Cuz silicone parts were made for toys
I wannem real thick and juicy
So find that juicy double
Mixalot's in trouble
Beggin' for a piece of that bubble
So I'm lookin' at rock videos
Watchin' these bimbos walkin' like hoes
You can have them bimbos
I'll keep my women like Flo Jo
A word to the thick soul sistas
I wanna get with ya
I won't cus or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna fuck
Til the break of dawn
Baby, I got it goin on
A lot of pimps won't like this song
Cuz them punks like to hit it and quit it
But I'd rather stay and play
Cuz I'm long and I'm strong
And I'm down to get the friction on

So ladies (yeah), ladies (yeah)
If you wanna role in my Mercedes (yeah)
Then turn around
Stick it out
Even white boys got to shout
Baby got back

(LA face with the Oakland booty)

Yeah baby
When it comes to females
Cosmo and got nothin to do with my selection
36-24-36
Only if she's 5'3"

So your girlfriend rolls a Honda
Playin' workout tapes by Fonda
But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda
My anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns hon
You can do side bends or sit-ups, but please don't lose that butt
Some brothers wanna play that hard role
and tell you that the butt need to go
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
So Cosmo says you're fat
Well I ain't down with that
Cuz your waste is small and your curves are kickin'
And I'm thinkin' bout stickin'
To the beanpole dames in the magazines
You ain't it Miss Thang
Give me a sista I can't resist her
Red beans and rice didn't miss her
Some knucklehead tried to dis
Cuz his girls were on my list
He had game but he chose to hit 'em
And pulled up quick to get with 'em
So ladies if the butt is round
And you wanna triple X throw down
Dial 1-900-mixalot and kick them nasty thoughts
Baby got back

.......boinky33

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... Brussels sprouts. (Really!)

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Sleeping
Roasted chestnuts
Music
Reading/writing
Finding clothes that fit
Eating
Living vicariously through others
Watching my housemates tango with the floor buffer

...Halo 2

...my Nextel phone with it's DC

...my Ford Focus!!!

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... Brussels sprouts. (Really!)

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Ditto.

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hay you wanna party in the club?

Only if I can bring my niggas and my bitches.

i lahks da sounds of dat!

...love.

... petite women who are both smart and beautiful

... DC Comics

... Dini & Timm cartoons based on DC Comics

... Point Pleasant

... Joan of Arcadia

... most space-faring science fiction TV shows from Star Trek to the new Battlestar Galactica.

... Deluxe Galaga

... Science and the scientific method

... Science fiction

... Coast to Coast AM

... other people's children

... Chess

... computer programming

... Jazz

... Debussey's La Mer

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... Joan of Arcadia

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... Joan of Arcadia

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I was beginning to think I was the only one that watched it.

---

That show is so faggy, you fags, go back to fagtown.

I prefer Aqua Teen Hunger Force

quote:

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That show is so faggy, you fags, go back to fagtown.

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???

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???

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Ah...

Foshizzle

Technically I can't be a fag since I'm a girl.

Plus I look nothing like a cigarette.

/comics/BigFrank105/268242/

I love tacos!

-Groucho Marx

-The First and Third through Tenth Amendments

-Chocolate-orange wine

-The electronic "Leila"

-The original "King Kong"

-Harpo Marx's recording of "Stardust"

-Kaddar's monkey

-Bucks County

-used book and record stores

-"The Shield"

-Dogfish Head World Wide Stout

-Vermont

-Rubens

-Raquel Torres

-My Treo 600

-My Honda Insight

-Single estate chocolate

-Slapsticon

-"Catch-22"

-Kinky Friedman

-Candye Kane

-rescuing animals

-the smell of beer brewing

-Shakespeare

-Marlon Brando

-The Brickskeller

-Bob & Ray

-The Smithsonian

-"Broadway Bound"

-OTR

-film preservationists

-history

-smart, funny, interesting people, especially kids

-Johnny Carson

-old movie palaces

-temperate climes

-Janeane Garofalo

-the net

-"E-Z Streets"

-Laphroaoig

-making root beer from scratch

-"News Radio"

-big friendly old cats

-"The Pain-- When Will it End?"

-"SCTV"

-George S. Kaufman

-Al Franken

-TCM

-writing

-sleep

- my candle that's shaped like a demented anime squirrel. I don't know why, but it amuses me greatly.

- my plastic cockroaches. I like leaving them in public places when I get bored.

- my bottle of Rocket Gel. Best non-maiming revenge joke ever.

- Stargate SG-1.

- giving my cats special treats and other goodies.

- my uranium collection.

- my garden, for not only surviving in a 72 day growing season, but putting out a humongoid crop of strawberries.

- volcanoes.

- zombie movies.

- building furniture.

- creating order out of chaos.

- alphebetizing things.

- having avoided taking Calculus 2 over again despite the college refusing to count my high school AP classes because the education system where I grew up was akin to my signature.

- snakes.

- lizards.

- stained glass windows in old churches.

- John Wayne movies.

- deep sea life.

- books, especially scifi, religious theory, astronomy, geology (duh), military history, and bad Victorian romance.

- used book stores.

- gourmet cooking (making, not eating).

- photography (if I only had a proper camera...)

- watching Engineering Disasters.

- playing silly computer games.

- getting to use the skills I learned in college at a mundane job. Who knew almost 8 years of technical design and geology would actually come in handy?

- playing board/card games with friends.

- growing exotic poisonous plants.

- rockhounding.

- rockhounding for uranium in Poison Basin.

- skydiving.

- Wyoming...the climate (i.e. opposite of the south), the distinct lack of people (least populated state in the US), the geology and paleontology, the mountains, and the giant-ass Yellowstone caldera that could change life as we know it if it ever erupts (praying for my lifetime).

- Alaska.

- rock-climbing at Vedauwoo. In the summer. Cause doing it in the winter is not a good idea.

- my brother.

- my grandmother.

- my uncle.

- my dad.

- the trip I took to England with my dad to follow our family tree.

- my mother (most of the time).

- being able to vent my frustrations on SC rather than knocking over a liquor store (though that is more profitable...)

--wireless
--pure, unadulterated perversion
--and last but not least:

What's God?

God is like that Thing that does that Suff, you know, He's the One Who... Oh forget it. Some things are just too complicated to talk about. Let's talk about fish instead. Fish are like those things that wiggle in fluid a lot, not like penises but... Ah forget it.

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Fish are like those things that wiggle in fluid a lot, not like penises but...

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That show is so faggy, you fags, go back to fagtown.

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..YOUR MOM

...Morrowind for XBox
...driving with the radio up loud
...citrus smells
...Boston Red Sox
...taking black and white pictures
...PUPPIES!!!!
...dancing
...porn (of almost any variety)
...gin and tonics (which I am not supposed to have)
...this site
...a good portion of this site's users
...playing Rugby/Softball/Volleyball
...Hoppy & George
...my family
...Age of the Empires II
...wiggling my feet in the sand at the beach
...The Sims "Bustin' Out"
...writing (anything and everything)
...Rage Against the Machine
...my dog
...my little shitbox apartment
...MikeyG! <3

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...lesbian porn

---

I think a lot more girls are "coming out" to porn these days. The last two girls I was with were literally perverts and whenever there was something on TV that had anything to do with sex they wanted to watch it, including lesbian porn.

Lesbian porn...mmm...sexalicious!

...my old lady
...my family (when they aren't nagging the piss out of me)
...my cats
...hockey
...Monk
...the History Channel
...the Twilight Zone (the original series, of course)
...In Search Of...
...Boston Public
...24
...chocolate milk for breakfast
...miniature golf
...watching thunderstorms
...music (I won't start listing bands/artists, it would take too long)
...word games
...Pulp Fiction
...This Is Spinal Tap
...Calvin and Hobbes
...Burnout 3 for the PS2
...going out for a drive at midnight, but only if I don't have to work in the morning
...sleeping
...porn
...Green Monsters (it's a drink...Mt. Dew and Vodka)
...4:30pm every Thursday, when my weekend officially starts
...this website

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...Calvin and Hobbes

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...Burnout 3 for the PS2

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I have every C&H book by Bill Watterson, including all the collections, the Sunday collection, and the 10 year anniversary book.

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C&H and The Far Side are the best comic strips ever.

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