Courtney Love unable to get a fix.

Cameron Diaz after reading the script for Charlie's Angels 3.

Any sane woman after seeing Boorite's yard.

Samantha Mathis mourning her career

Any girl upon seeing Kajun naked

"I could have saved a bundle on my car insurance by switching to Geico."

Preceded by, "I'll bet you that I can swallow this porcupine whole..."

"WHY WON'T THIS DAMN THING STAY ON?"

Time for a Midol, bitch

"I hereby sentence you to three years of reading CHUBBY's comics."

DAMN! Bigfoot's load tastes like congealed Satan spooy smothered in mucus flecked diarrhea! No WAY I'm swallowing this!

THE POPE IS DEAD!!!