Oprah to Tom Cruise:
"Tell me more about this Church of Scientology. Can I eat it?"

Oprah: You know, Tom, shoulder length rubber gloves can be really sexy.

Tom: Like the kind they use in Animal Husbandry?

Oprah: Moo Moo buckaroo.

"Did you have any of the tuna in the green room?"

"Let me smell your breath, Tom. Mmmmmmmmm-mmmmmm. Is that Katie?"

"Tom, you smell like... fear."

"Tell the dark lord we are prepared to enter phase two."

No, I don't know what it means, either.

Oprah: Once you go Black, you never go back.

Tom: Somebody ought to explain that to Michael Jackson, then.

Oprah, I swear I'll never jump on your couch again. Now please let go of my balls.

quote:

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Oprah to Tom Cruise:
"Tell me more about this Church of Scientology. Can I eat it?"

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Hey Tom, I found it, your crazy spot is riiiiight there!

"okay, who farted?"

At last, Oprah's head collection was complete.

"You are getting very sleepy, Tom, veeeerrrry sleeeepy... now, repeat after me: Katie Holmes is a skank. I much prefer yo-yo dieting black women..."

"...wha? Oh, heh, I wasn't listening to what you were saying, sorry. I was just noticing how when I look in your mouth, I can see daylight coming in through your ears."