I challenge anyone to a Dumb Blonde-Jokeoff Battle to the Death!!!

Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: I don't know! I'm a blonde! I can't count!

omg lame

Q: How many boorites does it take to get mocked in public?
A: JUST ONE!

That's funny because it's true.

How many boorites does it take to wear no pants?
Two: one to not wear pants, and one to wear no pants.

A blonde cop stops a blonde driver on a lonely back road. The blonde cop says, "let me see your liscence please". By mistake the blonde driver hands her a folding make-up mirror instead. The blonde cop opens it, takes a look inside and says, "Oh my god, I SEE MY OWN DEATH!!" A blood-curdling scream ensues as she is dragged through the abominable mirror to a dimension of ultimate horror. There she is devoured by a shoggoth.

I'll be here all week. Try the veal!

Was it a blonde shoggoth?

How many andy dougans does it take to fill up the Queer-o-meter?
Only a fourth!

Q: How many blondes does it take to not have a brain?
A: One, if you have a knife.

two blondes walk into an alcoholic beverage dispensery. its 5pm. Wednesday. its a humid day. the kind of day that makes you wish it wasn't so humid. its been a tough week for these two, but its about to get tougher as they look over into the corner and see someone they know all too well. the bus driver. a big swarthy man with anchor tatoos and a permanent snarl

what color are the bus driver's eyes?

Three blondes find a genie who will grant them each one wish. The first asks to be ten times smarter so she can get a better job; the genie yurns her into a redhead. The second asks to be fifty times smarter so she can go to college and make something of herself; the genie turns her into a brunette.

The third blonde asks to be a hundred times smarter so she can get a job where she can make millions and not have to do anything except boss people around.

The genie turns her into a man.

A river separates two blondes. The first blonde yells to the second, "Hey! How do you get to the other side?" The second blonde responds, "You ARE on the other side!"

Thank you. I win. Where do I collect my prize?
Here is your third place prize.

Q: What do you call a bunch of blondes in a tree?
A: A cuntry.

Q: What do you call a bunch of cookware in a tree?
A: A pantry.

Because I'm blonde, I don't have to think
I talk like a baby and I never pay for drinks
Don't have to worry about gettin' a man
If I keep this blonde and I keep these tan

'Cause I'm a blonde
Yeah, yeah, yeah
'Cause I'm a blonde
Yeah, yeah, yeah

I see people workin', it just makes me giggle
'Cause I don't have to work, I just have to jiggle

'Cause I'm blonde
B-L-O-N-D
'Cause I'm a blonde
Don't you wish you were me?

I never learned to read and I never learned to cook
Why should I bother when I look like I look?
I know lots of people are smarter than me
But I have this philosophy: "So what?"

'Cause I'm a blonde
Yeah, yeah, yeah

I see girls without dates and I feel so sorry for 'em
'Cause whenever I'm around, all the men ignore 'em

'Cause I'm blonde
Nyah, nyah, nyah
'Cause I'm a blonde
Nyah, nyah, nyah

They say to make it you need talent and ambition
Well, I got a TV show, and this was my audition:

Um, okay, what was it, okay, um, don't tell me, oh yeah, okay...
"Duck, Magnum, duck!"

'Cause I'm a blonde
Yeah, yeah, yeah
'Cause I'm a blonde
Yeah, yeah, yeah

I took an IQ test, and I flunked it, of course
I can't spell VW, but I got a Porsche

'Cause I'm a blonde
B-L-I-N-D
'Cause I'm a blonde
Don't you wish you were me?

I just want to say that being chosen as this month's Miss August is like a compliment I'll remember for as long as I can. Right now I'm a freshman in my fourth year at UCLA, but my goal is to become a veterinarian, 'cause I love children.

'Cause I'm a blonde
Yeah, yeah, yeah
'Cause we're a blonde
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Girls think I'm snotty, and maybe it's true
With my hair and body, you would be too

'Cause I'm a blonde
B-L-... I don't know!
'Cause I'm a blonde
Yeah, yeah, yeah
'Cause I'm a blonde
Yeah, yeah, yeah
'Cause I'm a blonde
Yeah, yeah, yeah!

- from my favorite movie.
http://www.evilnet.net/~jhfong/amv/blonde/blonde_lyrics.html
http://www.evilnet.net/~jhfong/amv/blonde/

Q: why was the blonde keeping a secret from her watch?

A: because she can't tell time!

omg lame

Q) Why can't blondes be janitors?

A) Because they are so cretinously stupid; such insipid mouth-breathing imbeciles; that they can't be entrusted with even the simplest of menial labor!

Haw haw -- guffaw!!

I wonder if they told blonde jokes in Nazi Germany.

quote:

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I wonder if they told blonde jokes in Nazi Germany.

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Sieg heil!

How many blondes does it take to kill all the jews?

I dunno, but it's more than a third of a reich!

LEWL!

How many Jews does it take to screw a blonde?

Billy Joel!

lool!!!!1

quote:

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How many Jews does it take to screw a blonde?

Billy Joel!

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i never park in a parking garage that has a floor Billy Joel

quote:

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i never park in a parking garage that has a floor Billy Joel

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quote:

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quote:

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i never park in a parking garage that has a floor Billy Joel

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You obviously suffer from PianoManophobia. Take two blondes and call me in the morning. Better yet, I'll call two blondes and take them until morning.

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quote:

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You obviously suffer from PianoManophobia. Take two blondes and call me in the morning. Better yet, I'll call two blondes and take them until morning.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to have sex with me?

A: How many you got?

quote:

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Q: How many blondes does it take to have sex with me?

A: How many you got?

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Q: How many blondes does it take to have sex with mandingo?

A: I guess if you asked all of them, one might agree to do it, for a price.

omg burn'd!

Q: Why does DX's girlfriend have bruises around her belly button?

A: 'Cause blonde guys are stupid too!

omg pwnz3d

Q: how many blondes would it take to agree to a threesome with DragonXero and HCRoyall?

A: alot! because they are repulsive! to women!

omg lame

That deserves to be spelled out. Oh my god that was lame.

quote:

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That deserves to be spelled out. Oh my god that was lame.

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OMG!!!11 U GUYZ R SO FUNNEH!!!1 LEWL!!!1

omg!!11 tihs turned in2 a dum flame fest!11 lolroflomg!!!!111

Argh! teh l337! 17'5 |\/|@|<1|\|6 |\/|y 3y35 8l33d!

Q: Why do blondes wear underwear?

A: To keep their ankles warm.

A blonde walks into a salon wearing headphones. She sits down and tells the hairdresser that she wants her hair cut. The hairdresser replies telling the blonde she must first remove the headphones.

"No, no." screamed the blonde." I must keep on the headphones."

"I can't cut your hair until they are removed." said the hairdresser has she lift the headphones off the blonde's head.

20 seconds later, the blonde falls over dead. Curious the headdresser puts on the headphones and hears a voice say"Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out...."

A blonde sticks her head into a lawnmower because I told her it would be fun, and her head is chopped to pieces! The bloody chunks spew everywhere as I laugh and laugh, and the headless corpse still jerks around for several seconds with blood squirting out of the neck, and it's funny!

"HA-HA, HA HA HA!!! HA HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

biped wins.