Forum archives » Fights Go Here » Why You Hate the New James Bond Film

Zaster
October 26, 2005 5:00 PM

The new Bond film isn't even out yet but I can tell already it sucks. The new Bond looks like a total tool. Besides, he has an actual relationship with a woman. How gay is that!? And he won't be using any awesome gadgets because he doesn't have "Q". He probably has to bore his enemies to death by telling them all about his feelings and motivations. Or maybe he just kills them with his big stupid jerk face!

Post #197517link

DragonXero
October 26, 2005 5:50 PM

Three words:
No Sean Connery.

Post #197519link

NooniePuuBunny
October 26, 2005 7:09 PM

quote:
...relationship with a woman. How gay is that!? ...

Not very gay at all, considering he's not having a romantic relationship with a man.

Post #197533link

HCRoyall
October 26, 2005 9:08 PM

quote:
Three words:
No Sean Connery.
Dammit, DX! You stole my line!

Post #197544link

DragonXero
October 26, 2005 10:07 PM

quote:
quote:
Three words:
No Sean Connery.
Dammit, DX! You stole my line!
Sorry about that. I guess.

Post #197564link

Drexle
October 26, 2005 11:25 PM

I hate the new James Bond film because it rapes babies.

Doesn't it know that babies are for *eating?*

Post #197568link

Chi_The_Cynic
October 27, 2005 12:36 AM

quote:
The new Bond film isn't even out yet but I can tell already it sucks.


The last one ("Die Another Day") sucked anyway. Invisible cars? Bond getting put in prison and growing a BEARD? Henchmen who introduce themselves as "Hello, I'm Mr. Kill"? Halle Berry? All very poor.

I had hoped someone like Christian Bale would have become the new Bond. Oh well.

Post #197579link

HotRodDeathToll
October 27, 2005 3:31 AM

Has anyone here seen the doom movie? It hasn't come out here yet, but reckon it sucks already too.

Post #197599link

Zaster
October 27, 2005 4:07 AM

quote:
Has anyone here seen the doom movie? It hasn't come out here yet, but reckon it sucks already too.
Boy, does it! I mean, I haven't seen it either, but c'mon -- all the monsters are rendered in three dimensions. That is a complete affront to the artistic integrity of the source material.

Post #197602link

HotRodDeathToll
October 27, 2005 4:15 AM

Apparently there's a 15 minute scene when it is just first person. Which makes no sense for a movie. Only games.

Post #197603link

TheGovernor
October 27, 2005 6:58 AM

I enjoyed Layer cake though, so Im willing to give Mr Craig a chance, and going down to earth happened last time after Moonraker aswell, with the more subdued For your Eyes only (which is a great bond flick), and Die another day was clearly Brosnon's 'Moonraker', Also lets not forget that this is the first Fleming book, so taking it back to a younger bond may be a good thing.

Just a shame Brosnon's agent was too caught up in the money to get him the job, although pierce was looking a bit fat in that last one. In all, as much as I think he made a great bond, Ive been secretly dissapointed with the last two films, or maybe it was just the villians in the last two havent lived up to the sublime Jonathan Pryce as Elliot Carver, or the wonderful performance of Sean Bean in Goldeneye. Robert Carlyle was wasted as a villain, and I couldnt even tell you who played the bad guys in the last one, it was that unmemorable.

Post #197632link

DexX
October 27, 2005 7:31 AM

Rosamund Pike was (and is) delicious, though.

Post #197636link

Chi_The_Cynic
October 27, 2005 8:04 AM

quote:
I enjoyed Layer cake though, so Im willing to give Mr Craig a chance, and going down to earth happened last time after Moonraker aswell, with the more subdued For your Eyes only (which is a great bond flick), and Die another day was clearly Brosnon's 'Moonraker', Also lets not forget that this is the first Fleming book, so taking it back to a younger bond may be a good thing.

Craig is a good actor, no doubt about it. He was very good in "Enduring Love" and "Road To Perdition", as well as playing a rather devilish Ted Hughes in "Sylvia". I have no problem with him as an actor I'm just not sure he's Bond material. I'm sensing another Dalton era: good actor, bad fit.

quote:
Ive been secretly dissapointed with the last two films, or maybe it was just the villians in the last two havent lived up to the sublime Jonathan Pryce as Elliot Carver, or the wonderful performance of Sean Bean in Goldeneye. Robert Carlyle was wasted as a villain, and I couldnt even tell you who played the bad guys in the last one, it was that unmemorable.


The first two Brosnans (particularly Tomorrow Never Dies) were excellent, and really showed a return to form after a slump in the Bond world. The third wasn't too bad (though Carlyle is certainly downplayed, and the role he was given was neither particularly menacing or stylish). The last one was just plain awful, and so in some respects a younger, less gadget-driven Bond (one who isn't likely to drive an invisible car) might be a breath of fresh air. I remain to be impressed, though.

They'd also better get some decent Bond totty in the next movie - no more corset-clad Madonna or saggy breasted Berry, thank you very much.

Post #197641link

biped
October 27, 2005 9:56 AM

I liked all the Brosnen Bond movies, especially DIE ANOTHER DAY. I thought he was a great Bond and was still in his prime. They'd better not change the character too much -- GOLDENEYE proved that we still prefer Bond to be a "sexist, misogynist dinosaur" and a "relic of the Cold War." Not a sensitive, politically-correct sissy-boy.

Post #197659link

kaufman
October 27, 2005 10:15 AM

You know it's going to be a bad Bond movie when:

The female lead plays a character named Bovina Queef.

Post #197663link

TheGovernor
October 27, 2005 11:02 AM

Well at least they didnt go for a talentless prettyboy model like On her majesties secret service (could possibly have been the best bond ever made had Connery not been so damn scottish that year)

Who knows, it'll either be a success and bring new life into the series,

or it'll be an abject pile of piss and they'll beg Broson to come back, either way its a win-win.

Post #197672link

not_Scyess
October 27, 2005 1:05 PM

quote:
I hate the new James Bond film because it rapes babies.

Doesn't it know that babies are for *eating?*


Obviously, you've never tried babies with rape sauce.

Post #197700link

DexX
October 28, 2005 5:16 AM

quote:
You know it's going to be a bad Bond movie when:
The female lead plays a character named Bovina Queef.
The only megavillain they can think of who hasn't been used before is a dishonest TV repairman with a beefy sidekick named Cletus.

Post #197842link

HurricaneJenn
October 28, 2005 6:41 AM

I saw the new Doom movie (only cuz my bf wanted to) and yeah.. it sucked hard core!! The first person shooter part was well done though. If I had to pick one part of the movie that was good, that would be it.

When they were first coming out with who would possibly be the new Bond, I was kinda hoping they would pick Clive Owen.. he looks more Bond then the other guy. The whole tall dark and handsome seems to fit the Bond character. Next thing, they'll be making his martini's stirred!

Post #197865link

DexX
October 28, 2005 7:09 AM

Useless Bond trivia: Only philistines have their martinis shaken. The correct way to make a martini is to stir it. When you shake a martini, the ice melts more and dilutes the drink, making the alcoholic content lower and the flavours weaker. A martini connoisseur would spit in Bond's face if he asked for his martini shaken.

Post #197867link

UnknownEric
October 28, 2005 8:18 AM

I'm about to make a confession that will shake your confidence in me to the core:

I really liked Timothy Dalton as Bond. He was no Connery, but he nailed the dangerous and sexy vibe way better than Roger Moore or Pierce Brosnan, who came off as comic book characters. I didn't mind George Lazenby, but probably only because On Her Majesty's Secret Service was such a good movie.

Feel free to mock me for my Dalton love.

Post #197874link

flickguy
October 28, 2005 10:01 AM

Won't mock you.

Will simply disagree.

(Though I really did like License to Kill.)

Post #197891link

ivytheplant
October 28, 2005 11:22 AM

quote:
Three words:
No Sean Connery.

I never really liked Connery anyway.

Post #197909link

biped
October 28, 2005 1:48 PM

quote:
I never really liked Connery anyway.

You...hurt birds...in space.

Post #197925link

DragonXero
October 28, 2005 2:06 PM

quote:
quote:
Three words:
No Sean Connery.

I never really liked Connery anyway.
BLASPHEMER!!!

Post #197931link

Zaster
October 28, 2005 4:34 PM

I'm glad to see you all hate the new James Bond film. Now how about that dreadful new Rocky flick that Stallone is working on? Here is actual tape of Sylvester Stallone: "Ooh -- Million Dollar Baby was such a success. I just gotta get me a piece of that!" Who wants to see a 60 year old rocky embarass himself by trying to recapture the dubious glory of some over-rated fictional boxing career?

Stallone is a total loser. If I ever got in the ring with him, I'd squat over his head and piss straight down his gullet. Then I'd take a great big dump in there, before casually tossing his feces-ridden carcass into a cess-pit.

Post #197950link

biped
October 28, 2005 11:42 PM

Ha ha, Stallone would write in the script where he beats you up.

Post #197991link

Chi_The_Cynic
October 29, 2005 1:13 AM

quote:
Useless Bond trivia: Only philistines have their martinis shaken. The correct way to make a martini is to stir it. When you shake a martini, the ice melts more and dilutes the drink, making the alcoholic content lower and the flavours weaker. A martini connoisseur would spit in Bond's face if he asked for his martini shaken.

Well, if Bond were just drinking a martini, yes.

But it's a vodka martini, and that can be either shaken or stirred depending on the drinker's preference.

Post #197995link

DexX
October 29, 2005 7:54 AM

quote:
If I ever got in the ring with him, I'd squat over his head and piss straight down his gullet.
Zaster squats to piss!!! Hee hee hee...

Post #198020link

DexX
October 29, 2005 7:55 AM

I thought Dalton was a fantastic Bond is two really weak Bond films. With better scripts and directors I think he would have been regarded far better than he is.

He's kind of like Colin Baker in that way...

Post #198021link

Zaster
October 30, 2005 5:13 AM

quote:
Zaster squats to piss!!! Hee hee hee...
"Squat to Piss and Piss to Squat," I always say.

Man, I've got to join a tougher motorcycle gang.

Post #198131link

ivytheplant
November 12, 2005 6:34 PM

I still say Sean Connery wasn't all that.

/picking a fight

Post #200739link

biped
November 12, 2005 8:32 PM

Sean Connery was the quintessential James Bond. If you don't see that, then you shouldn't even be watching James Bond movies.

Post #200762link

ivytheplant
November 12, 2005 8:35 PM

It probably makes more sense when I say I never thought James Bond was that great to begin with either.

Post #200764link

biped
November 12, 2005 9:10 PM

It makes more sense if you realize that you shouldn't have thought that.

Post #200770link

ivytheplant
November 12, 2005 9:23 PM

Um...

That should cover it.

Post #200775link

Forum archives » Fights Go Here » Why You Hate the New James Bond Film

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