http://www.under-tec.com/work.htm

so it deoderizes, so what... can it muffle?
does it put sweet smelling cottony goodness all the way up into your nether regions to stifel any flesh from reverberating and thusly cluing in your acquaintances that just because it smells like lylacs, doesn't mean it's from the botanical gardens?

But think of the day when the kids will gather around to take a snort after they hear a rumble from deep down in granddad's leather recliner!

Reminds me of the 'Flatuscents' parody ad on 'In living color'. New Car scent, Christmas tree, amongst other enticing smells.

i can see the commercials now...
suzie: "more beans grampa?"
little billy: "have some more!"
alex : "please?"
announcer: "sure, have all you want! but don't forget your depends with the Under-Ease Insoles (tm)"
(available at fine stores everywhere)

The D-Generation, a long-lived comedy team over here in Oz, did a sketch many years ago on TV, advertising a product called "FartWhistle". Each one makes a distinctive noise, so there is never any debate over who "did it". :)

People, people...

Farts are a natural human process. Don't be ashamed to cut one loose... unless you've been especially rotten the last few days, in which you will produce methan gas with enough strength to kill small farm animals... or attract them, depending on their gender.

... okay, maybe that wasn't that good of a suggestion...

-DH1

Can you imagine what would happen if your freaky parents made you wear these and the other kids at school found out? Plus how much they'd hurt if you got a wedgie with them on? I bet they wouldn't tear like normal underwear. If you got hung on a hook it'd sting like a mofo!