Forum archives » General Discussion » You like spider-man?

DaveMonkey
June 27, 2006 6:01 AM

Post #226519link

DaveMonkey
June 27, 2006 6:24 AM

oops! site down!

you'll have to wait, then.

Sorry!

Post #226523link

dcomposed
June 27, 2006 7:26 PM

spider-man sucks

Post #226658link

biped
June 27, 2006 7:39 PM

No, you suck Spidermans.

Post #226669link

DaveMonkey
June 28, 2006 6:41 AM

In soviet Russia, Spider-Man sucks YOU!

...wait...

Post #226711link

BigFrank105
June 28, 2006 8:51 AM

Post #226725link

biped
June 28, 2006 9:30 AM

Post #226728link

Zaster
June 28, 2006 3:04 PM

Spiderman, Spiderman,
Does nothing that a spider can
Can he suck out his victim's vital fluids through a pair of venomous chelicerae?
No he can't, what a wimp
Hey there --
There goes the so-called "spiderman"

Post #226805link

boorite
June 28, 2006 10:09 PM

batman cant fliy ether and wolveiene dosent mark everything he cant eat with musk urine or droppings so stfu

Post #226861link

biped
June 28, 2006 10:17 PM

quote:
Does nothing that a spider can


"Nothing"? Hmm...something tells me you're exaggerating merely for effect. And that you have something against Spiderman that extends far beyond the merely objective.

Post #226863link

ivytheplant
June 29, 2006 12:29 AM

Earth vs the Spider, 2001 remake - a more realistic portrayal of what Spiderman would really be like...or at least, what happens when a nerd who reads too many comics injects himself with super spider serum.

Hint: It's less getting to fuck a hot redhead and more getting fucked by Dan Akroyd.

Post #226864link

Zaster
June 29, 2006 3:59 PM

quote:
wolveiene dosent mark everything he cant eat with musk urine or droppings

He does that between panels.

quote:
Hmm...something tells me you're exaggerating merely for effect. And that you have something against Spiderman that extends far beyond the merely objective.

Look -- if a character is going to go around calling himself "Spiderman", is it too much to ask that he have venomous chelicerae??

Where are the venomous chelicerae!??

quote:
Hint: It's less getting to fuck a hot redhead and more getting fucked by Dan Akroyd.

Exactly!

Post #226950link

boorite
June 29, 2006 5:34 PM

He's just like any adolescent coming to terms with his new... powers...

Post #226969link

DragonXero
June 29, 2006 10:43 PM

quote:
quote:
wolveiene dosent mark everything he cant eat with musk urine or droppings

He does that between panels.

quote:
Hmm...something tells me you're exaggerating merely for effect. And that you have something against Spiderman that extends far beyond the merely objective.

Look -- if a character is going to go around calling himself "Spiderman", is it too much to ask that he have venomous chelicerae??

Where are the venomous chelicerae!??

quote:
Hint: It's less getting to fuck a hot redhead and more getting fucked by Dan Akroyd.

Exactly!

Have a look at the latest Spider-Man comics, specifically The Other. Spidey goes through another phase of deveolpment, as he has before, and eventually develops new powers, including venomous protrusions from his arms. Granted, he's not going to be walking around biting people to inject venom, but he does have venom now.
There have also been various times where Spidey has experienced other powers. For a short time he became little more than a giant spider, starting with the growing of four arms on his abdoment and ending with a barely anthropomorphic spider. I have no idea how that one ended though.
I do agree that he has no specific spider powers, but what can a spider do, other than spinning webs, that isn't shared by several other arachnids or even insects? Wall-crawling is something many insects can do. Ignoring the ridiculous nature of "proportional strength", ants are stronger than spiders, proportionally. The spider-sense is more akin to something a fly might have (ever tried sneaking up on a fly? Can't do it.) The "spider-like" agility is less like a spider and more like a small monkey.
But let's face it, Fly-Man and Monkey-Man are kinda lame, and Ant-Man is already taken.

Post #227026link

ivytheplant
June 29, 2006 10:49 PM

quote:
I do agree that he has no specific spider powers, but what can a spider do, other than spinning webs, that isn't shared by several other arachnids or even insects?

Silkworms, bagworms...

Post #227028link

DragonXero
June 29, 2006 11:54 PM

quote:
quote:
I do agree that he has no specific spider powers, but what can a spider do, other than spinning webs, that isn't shared by several other arachnids or even insects?

Silkworms, bagworms...
Yeah, I was thinking about them as I was writing it, but I figured no one would call me on it. Curse you Ivy.

Post #227034link

LuckyGuess
June 30, 2006 12:52 AM

quote:
quote:
I do agree that he has no specific spider powers, but what can a spider do, other than spinning webs, that isn't shared by several other arachnids or even insects?

Silkworms, bagworms...

Bagwormman was pretty cool.

Post #227038link

Zaster
June 30, 2006 4:16 PM

Bagworm Man, Bagworm Man
Does whatever a bagworm can
Builds a case, out of gunk
Covers it up with twigs and junk
Look out -- there sits the Bagworm Man

Is he strong? No he's not
That gay cacoon is all he's got
Sealed within, safe and sound
While crime goes on, all around
What crap! -- there sits the Bagworm Man

Post #227081link

DragonXero
July 1, 2006 7:40 AM

I secretly hoped Spiderman would emerge from The Other looking like a giant spider for a while. Now he's steppin' on Wolverine's territory.
And now Tony Stark has him living up in his tower and he and his family are all safe and sound. Meh. Pretty soon he's going to mutate again and be basically invulnerable.
Used to be Spidey could be taken down by a bullet. Now, it's possible he can't.
Dear Marvel: Knock it the fuck off.

Post #227186link

biped
July 1, 2006 8:30 AM

Tony Stark, makes you feel
He's a cool exec with a heart of steel.
As Iron Man, all jets a-blaze,
He's fighting and smiting with repulsor rays.
Amazing armor, it's Iron Man.
A blaze of power, it's Iron Man.

Doc Bruce Banner, pelted by gamma rays
Turned into the Hulk (ain't he unglamo-rays).
Wreckin' the town with the power of a bull
Ain't no monster, cause who is that lovable.
It's ever-lovin' Hulk. HULK. HULK.

When Captain America throws his mighty shield,
All those who chose oppose his shield must yield.
If he's led to a fight and a duel is due,
Then the red and white and the blue'll come through.
When Captain America throws his mighty shield.

Cross the Rainbow Bridge of Asgard,
Where the booming heavens roar,
You'll behold in breathless wonder
The God Of Thunder, Mighty Thor.

Stronger than a whale
He can swim anywhere.
He can breathe under water
and go flying through the air.
The Noble Sub Mariner
Prince of the deep
So, beware you deadly demons
Lord Namor of Atlantis,
is the Prince of the Deep.

Meet the sulky over-bulky kinda' hulky superhero
A tuned-in-istic and electrically transistored superhero
An exotically neurotic and aquatic superhero
The Marvel Super Heroes have arrived.
Super-powered from the forehead to the toes
Watch them change their shape before your nose
See a cane-striking superhero change to Viking superhero
A humdingin' real swingin' shield flingin' superhero
They're the the latest they're the greatest ultimatist superheroes
The Marvel Super Heroes have arrived.

Post #227190link

fpd
July 1, 2006 8:38 AM

Spider-man is one of my favorite Marvel superheros, but I think I'll always prefer DC superheros like Superman and Batman.

Post #227191link

ivytheplant
July 1, 2006 10:21 AM

Spiderman is one of the few Marvel characters that didn't drive me bonkers with the angst (fortunately, I stopped reading Marvel before that whole clone business appeared and drove even hardcore fans nuts).

There was a time that I hated reading Spiderman, but that's because some moron had made Mary Jane look like the mother from Married with Children and all I could think of while I was reading was why Parker was sleeping with a white trash hooker. That was really distracting.

Post #227205link

fpd
July 1, 2006 7:58 PM

quote:
There was a time that I hated reading Spiderman, but that's because some moron had made Mary Jane look like the mother from Married with Children and all I could think of while I was reading was why Parker was sleeping with a white trash hooker. That was really distracting.

I was disappointed that he didn't get together with Felicia Hardy. Of course, if he had, May Parker and Felicity Hardy would have never been born, and we wouldn't have the team of Spider-Girl and the new Scarlet Spider.

Post #227261link

boorite
July 1, 2006 8:08 PM

Fellatio Hardon LOL

Post #227263link

biped
July 1, 2006 8:45 PM

There's too much Spiderman bullshit. Forget about it. It's all just a bunch of crap that some writers thought would be cute. Venom? Clones? Blah. All that shit is just stupid.

Spiderman is just a teenage superhero who fights guys like Doc Ock and the Green Goblin. That's all anyone needs to know.

Post #227275link

Zaster
July 1, 2006 9:10 PM

Look how Spiderman beats up on old men!
Threat or menace? You decide.

Post #227278link

biped
July 1, 2006 9:16 PM

The Vulture was a formidable foe. You're just being facetious.

Post #227279link

boorite
July 1, 2006 11:15 PM

quote:
There's too much Spiderman bullshit. Forget about it. It's all just a bunch of crap that some writers thought would be cute. Venom? Clones? Blah. All that shit is just stupid.

Spiderman is just a teenage superhero who fights guys like Doc Ock and the Green Goblin. That's all anyone needs to know.



No, I'm sure I read somewhere that Spider-Man is the apotheosis of something.

Post #227287link

DragonXero
July 2, 2006 10:48 AM

I personally liked the whole Venom story.

Post #227303link

Zaster
July 2, 2006 2:42 PM

This was always my favorite story-line.

Post #227332link

mmyers
July 3, 2006 11:30 AM

quote:
The Vulture was a formidable foe. You're just being facetious.

The Vulture was great because he wore a harness that made him a little bit stronger than a young person with no powers. Can you imagine? All that power at your disposal at the age of 60?

Ah, a simpler age.

Post #227386link

mandingo
July 4, 2006 10:49 AM

quote:
In soviet Russia, Spider-Man sucks YOU!
vwut a country!

quote:
Spiderman is just a teenage superhero who fights guys like Doc Ock and the Green Goblin. That's all anyone needs to know.
and that he spins a web any size. that's important. the webspinning i mean. any size. no shit

Post #227449link

Zaster
July 4, 2006 11:19 AM

quote:
and that he spins a web any size. that's important. the webspinning i mean. any size. no shit
And he's got radioactive blood. No wonder he's strong.

Post #227453link

DragonXero
July 4, 2006 2:44 PM

quote:
quote:
In soviet Russia, Spider-Man sucks YOU!
vwut a country!

quote:
Spiderman is just a teenage superhero who fights guys like Doc Ock and the Green Goblin. That's all anyone needs to know.
and that he spins a web any size. that's important. the webspinning i mean. any size. no shit
Though, considering the fact that he invented the web-spinners, is that really a "power" per-se? I mean, imagine if Parker had never been bitten by a spider. He could have become the next Iron Man. Those spinners alone could have funded his first Iron Man suit.

Post #227468link

biped
July 4, 2006 2:53 PM

Yes, but then he would've been Iron Man instead of Spiderman. And Tony Stark would have to think of some other superhero to become, and still be able to build an iron lung into his costume. And if Peter Parker had all those other spider powers besides web-spinning, he would've simply been hogging good superhero ideas by becoming Iron Man, too.

See how clear things become when you apply simple logic.

Post #227470link

mandingo
July 4, 2006 4:36 PM

quote:
quote:
quote:
Spiderman is just a teenage superhero who fights guys like Doc Ock and the Green Goblin. That's all anyone needs to know.
and that he spins a web any size. that's important. the webspinning i mean. any size. no shit
Though, considering the fact that he invented the web-spinners, is that really a "power" per-se?
i'm sorry, perhaps you didn't hear me

any. size.

Post #227486link

DragonXero
July 7, 2006 1:57 AM

quote:
quote:
quote:
quote:
Spiderman is just a teenage superhero who fights guys like Doc Ock and the Green Goblin. That's all anyone needs to know.
and that he spins a web any size. that's important. the webspinning i mean. any size. no shit
Though, considering the fact that he invented the web-spinners, is that really a "power" per-se?
i'm sorry, perhaps you didn't hear me

any. size.


I stand errected.

I'm sorry. Did I say errected? I meant errected.

Post #227660link

areallystupidguy
July 7, 2006 10:03 PM

quote:
You like spider-man?

Like him? I tattooed a picture of his ass on my ass.

Venom rocked. The only decent thing Todd McFarlane has ever done for humanity. After that he got the crazy idea that he knew how to write.

Post #227713link

Zaster
July 8, 2006 5:27 AM

quote:
Venom rocked. The only decent thing Todd McFarlane has ever done for humanity. After that he got the crazy idea that he knew how to write.

My favorite was Carnage... even though he was a rip-off of Venom... who was a rip-off of Spiderman... who was a rip-off of actual spiders... which were were a total rip-off of crustaceans.

Post #227724link

BigFrank105
July 8, 2006 9:25 AM

You're forgetting that Venom is SUPPOSED to be a ripoff of Spiderman. After that alien being that is Venom's suit successfully seperated from Peter Parker, it oozed into a church and bonded with Eddie Brock (Venom), who had an extreme dislike for Spiderman. The suit's memories and Eddie's emotions formed a sort of insane, dark Spiderman... I think that's how it went.

Post #227732link

DragonXero
July 8, 2006 9:55 AM

Venom is a fairly interesting character. I'd amost call him the Punisher with powers. Total vigilante, ripping off limbs instead of leaving someone "webbed up".
I've heard that there were recently a few other symbiotes running around, and one ended up getting attached to a cop, leaving a good guy symbiote.

Carnage isn't as interesting a character as Venom, in my opinion. He's not conflicted, he's just insane and murderous.

Post #227735link

kramer_vs_kramer
July 8, 2006 12:00 PM

This site is quite interesting, it explains the behind-the-scenes wranglings behind all the clone nonsense.

Post #227744link

Zaster
July 8, 2006 12:52 PM

The thing I didn't like about the Venom story line is that it left Spidey with his old red-and-blue feety pajamas. The black costume looked 10X better.

Post #227747link

ivytheplant
July 8, 2006 6:13 PM

I didn't like the whole thing because Bill Gates stole my stingray and used it to power Microsoft tactical shovels.

Post #227762link

Forum archives » General Discussion » You like spider-man?

stripcreator
Make a comic
Forums
featuring
diesel sweeties
jerkcity
exploding dog
goats
ko fight club
penny arcade
chopping block
also
Brad Sucks