ok, i collected a lot of marvel titles circa 86-87, but never got into DC.
now i see this commercial for Superman Returns and in the preview, Kevin Spacey as Lex Luther is on top of a building shooting superman at point blank range with what appears to be a minigun taken from an 'warthog' tankiller plane. the things got 6 barrels and is about 12 feet long and secured on a gyro mount.
WTF?
i can see small caliber arms deflected at a distance because of muscle density or some such reason, but something designed to rip planes outta the air at thousands of feet?
it even shows a matrix-esque slo mo of one of said bullets bouncing off HIS FUCKING EYEBALL.
cmon. how?
and as long as i'm at it, what's goin on with eye beams, super breath, x ray vision, flying, the ridiculous super strength, and his fuckin costume. (update already...)
does anyone have the power to explain any of this?
Yes i have been drinking, thank you for your concern.

BTW, if anyone can explain this in a satisfactory manner i will post a pic of myself so fucked up on demerol and booze that i had to enlist the aid of two sherpa-lummoxes to drag my wasted ass around.

and i'll put bunny-ears on myself.

He only SUPPOSED to have strength, speed, and the ability to jump REALLY high. But then they uber-ed him up.

Superman is what it is stated...Super.
Although many collecters may have dubbed him Perfectman since hes stronger than any creature alive, Hes faster even then the Flash(maybe. The story never had a winner),and he once blew out a star like a candle.
The X-Ray vison, the flying,and the un-original original costume became custom to his fans so they kept it.
(Unlike some fag Spiderman and how he turn all robo..pssh.)

In my opinion Superman is a parasite and a disease on the comics indursty. A man so perfect shouldn't be in the DC universe.
They tried to make him have conflict by saying hes so powerful he cannot make love to Lois Lane or that he has to deal hes the last of his race. Big fucking deal, the only conflict I liked was that he was a goody-goody boyscout. Why?
I'm a Batman fan and wanting them square-off in The Dark Knight Returns was my favorite scenen in any comic. The lines when hes bashing and beating Superman and telling him to always remmeber the only man who defeat him was the man with no powers.

The eye thing was I,too thought was being stupid. We get it, he can't die and Lex Luthor will lose. If they want a good Superman movie have him face Doomsday and show us that he can die. In 1995 when they made that Doomsday series they should've ended it right there.
Sadly, It was just a scam for your money.
I can't explain his powers but I can explain why we don't need characters like him.

Theres only one good reason for this movie suceedings. There been plans if this movie is a hit and Batman Begins 2 is a hit that they'll make the only superhero movie that will ever matter and make avid fans cry with happiness...
Batman VS Superman
I think we all know who we should root for.

-Jarhead-
(P.S I'm just stating I'm not onesided with Batman, hes my seconf favorite.. Captain Atom is my favorite.)

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He only SUPPOSED to have strength, speed, and the ability to jump REALLY high. But then they uber-ed him up.

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sorry about double-posting..finger slip.

Supes ordered the complete set of Tae-bo workout videos from Billy Blanks. Now he's so lean and cut, he could deflect a fucking asteroid off his six-pack. Even his eyeballs are fucking ripped.

Because of Krypton's high gravity, radiation levels, and other characteristics that made it inhospitable to advanced life forms, when proto-life arrived on Krypton (aboard ejecta from cosmic impacts on an inhabited planet far away-- see "panspermia hypothesis"), it stagnated for perhaps billions of years, until it evolved a most remarkable adaptation: the ability to directly shape the implicate order to the organism's own needs. To understand this, one has to grasp that consciousness (and here, "consciousness" is of a sort that is possessed by a unicellular organism) and the nature of the environment are reciprocally determined. "Consciousness" and "environment" mutually create one another in a sort of self-oscillation. In a sense, then, it's all one thing. Everything is "consciousness," and it is really true that by changing your mind, you can change the world around you. Indeed, at bottom, there is no difference between the two. It's all "mind," and instead of changing "your mind," you may be said to be "changing Mind." And by changing Mind, you locally alter the laws of physics!

Actually doing this is harder than it sounds, and yet, Earthlife does it all the time.

But Kryptonian life had to do it better. On Earth, conditions are hospitable enough that the most efficient way for life to copy itself is usually to just adapt to conditions as they are. Altering them at a fundamental level is usually a waste of resources, and organisms that invested too heavily in this ability were out-competed by others.

Kryptonian challenges, however, necessitated a far heavier investment in this ability to directly manipulate the implicate order that creates physical reality.

So what I am saying is something like this: It is not that Superman is so strong and invulnerable and so on according to the laws of physics that usually govern Earthlife. It is that he, like all advanced Kryptonian life, has an inborn psychic ability to alter the laws of physics in his immediate vicinity. The exercise of this ability is quite reflexive, operating without his higher awareness. It is not qualitatively different from what human psychics and miracle workers have been known to do. He is just much better at it.

So when you say it's impossible for a person's eyeball to repel small arms fire, no matter what planet he's from, you're right. What Superman does is change what is possible, albeit on a very limited, very local level.

Why isn't this ever explained in the comics and movies? Too boring.

Now post those nude pics like you promised.

Because it's a fucking comic book!

Seriously, are we going to start discussing how saying "Do the hustle" backwards will make people break out in disco against their will? Will there be a treatise on how the Cryptkeeper is mobile?

Sheesh...

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Now post those nude pics like you promised.

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Really, people. Stop trying to make logical sense of the Superman mythos. It is what it is. And it will exist after your corpse if rotting in the ground.

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Really, people. Stop trying to make logical sense of the Superman mythos. It is what it is. And it will exist after your corpse if rotting in the ground.

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Superman will simply laugh at your cremated remains.

until he realizes i was composed of 100% kryptonite. then he'll die. and baby jesus won't put him back together because Superman stole his caped flying bit

You just made all that stuff up. Superman doesn't care about made up stuff.

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Really, people. Stop trying to make logical sense of the Superman mythos.

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You just made all that stuff up. Superman doesn't care about made up stuff.

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You're not the Zod o' me.

So, do we get to see the nude pics with the bunny ears or what?

Superman and Jesus are the same person.

Christianity, aka, Supermanity.

Okay, I really like Marvel comics as well, never got that much into DC. That being said, Marvel has its own crazy superpowered beings. Ms. Marvel, before having her powers absorbed by Rogue, was possibly just as invulnerable as Superman. And if unreasonable superpowers are your bag, Marvel is the place to go.
Wolverine's claws are often depicted as being longer than his forearm and hand put together, which is simply impossible. The Hulk grows from normal man-sized to bigger than an elephant with no explaination of where the added mass comes from ("Cosmic source" my ass). Spidey flies along thwipping out webs, which apparently have the tensile strength many times higher than even adamantium.
I agreee, Superman may be too strong. Even when he was "killed", he came back. He has too many superpowers and his weaknesses are never really exploited. They become mere plot contrivances. Spidey could bash Supes' head in with a Kryptonite baseball bat. But nooo, that would be too easy. Just like Batman could carry around a handgun for those villains who are just a little too annoying for him to deal with.
In the end, they're comics. People like them how they've developed. Superman is an invicible superhero with few real weaknesses. He's not a "real person's superhero" like Spiderman, Captain America or Tony Stark were supposed to be. He was born a superhero That's what makes him less interesting, in my opinion, than the afformentioned heroes. They all became heroes through accidents, ingenuity or sacrifice.
I think the bullet bouncing off the eye was kinda cool, myself.

Wow, all these responses, and no one has correctly answered your question yet. Well, you should be able to tell by my avatar's resemblance to Superman's enemy Brainiac that I know what's up with Superman. The answer to your question is different for the Golden Age Superman, the Silver Age Superman, and the current comic book Superman. Originally, when Superman was first created, his powers were more limited. Mainly, he was faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, but Captain Marvel, with his strength of Hercules, speed of Mercury, etc., could whip the tar out of Superman. The Silver Age Superman basically had all the powers of Captain Marvel plus various eye powers, such as X-ray vision and heat vision. The explanation was Earth's yellow sun. Krypton revolved around a red sun, and somehow our sun's yellow light gave superpowers to Kryptonians. Superman was his most powerful during the Silver Age. He could even clean himself off by flying through the sun, which couldn't harm him, since it was the source of his powers. The Golden Age Superman eventually got the same powers as the Silver Age Superman by means of magic. I'm not sure of the details, since I think I read it in a footnote. The modern Superman is more limited in his powers. He also gets his powers from the yellow sun, but instead of being all-powerful at once in yellow sunlight, he absorbs yellow sunlight like a battery. So instead of being a powerful Superbaby, he gradually came into his powers. Also, his powers will gradually diminish in a red sun system instead of disappearing altogether. Unlike the Silver Age Superman, he needs to breath, and he can't survive outerspace for too long without an oxygen supply. His invulnerability is now accounted for by a personal forcefield. I'm not sure how he manages to eat or poop with this forcefield, but I assume it's not a problem. His partial clone, Superboy, has telekinetic powers. This might be related to Superman's forcefield. As for the movie Superman, the new movie is a sequel to the Christopher Reeve Superman, who was based on the Silver Age Superman. This Superman could lift a truck as soon as he arrived on Earth, and he has apparently been flying around in outer space looking for Krypton. So he should be more powerful than the modern comic book Superman. The explanation for his powers is probably the yellow sun.

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Wow, all these responses, and no one has correctly answered your question yet. Well, you should be able to tell by my avatar's resemblance to Superman's enemy Brainiac that I know what's up with Superman. The answer to your question is different for the Golden Age Superman, the Silver Age Superman, and the current comic book Superman. Originally, when Superman was first created, his powers were more limited. Mainly, he was faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, but Captain Marvel, with his strength of Hercules, speed of Mercury, etc., could whip the tar out of Superman. The Silver Age Superman basically had all the powers of Captain Marvel plus various eye powers, such as X-ray vision and heat vision. The explanation was Earth's yellow sun. Krypton revolved around a red sun, and somehow our sun's yellow light gave superpowers to Kryptonians. Superman was his most powerful during the Silver Age. He could even clean himself off by flying through the sun, which couldn't harm him, since it was the source of his powers. The Golden Age Superman eventually got the same powers as the Silver Age Superman by means of magic. I'm not sure of the details, since I think I read it in a footnote. The modern Superman is more limited in his powers. He also gets his powers from the yellow sun, but instead of being all-powerful at once in yellow sunlight, he absorbs yellow sunlight like a battery. So instead of being a powerful Superbaby, he gradually came into his powers. Also, his powers will gradually diminish in a red sun system instead of disappearing altogether. Unlike the Silver Age Superman, he needs to breath, and he can't survive outerspace for too long without an oxygen supply. His invulnerability is now accounted for by a personal forcefield. I'm not sure how he manages to eat or poop with this forcefield, but I assume it's not a problem. His partial clone, Superboy, has telekinetic powers. This might be related to Superman's forcefield. As for the movie Superman, the new movie is a sequel to the Christopher Reeve Superman, who was based on the Silver Age Superman. This Superman could lift a truck as soon as he arrived on Earth, and he has apparently been flying around in outer space looking for Krypton. So he should be more powerful than the modern comic book Superman. The explanation for his powers is probably the yellow sun.

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By the way, the reason I stopped reading Superboy was because they started doing the annoying Marvel thing that had me stop reading Marvel in the early 90's. I'm talking about every other sentence out of Superboy's mouth was about his "tactile telekinesis" crap in explanation of his powers or the lengthy drama of his origin. I get it. He has superpowers akin to Superman. Hoisting a couple of scantily clad girls with just his pinky and flying around in a brightly colored shirt kind of gave me that idea. As did the title.

It's the same way Marvel couldn't spend a single page without discussing the character's powers, origins, and angst. Christ on a bike! We get it! Storm can control the weather! How is there even room for a plot in the midst of all that useless exposition on crap we already know?

And don't say it's to give new readers a background. They don't have to do it every fucking issue! If new readers really want the skinny, they can go look it up.

Not that I have a strong opinion or anything...

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Look, up in she sky -- It's a bird! It's a plane!

It's a big fag in blue tights.

ok. i dont even remember posting that.
but as i am a man of my word....prepare yourself.

wow. that was a night.

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Wow, all these responses, and no one has correctly answered your question yet.

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Now, in Just Imagine Stan Lee Creating the DC Universe, his Superman character was from another planet with higher gravity so he was stronger and faster than normal humans. He could fly too, but that's because he had some rocket belt that he didn't tell people about. That character was more plausible than DC's Superman.

Before you say that it's because the Marvel Universe is more plausible than the DC Universe, Stan Lee's Green Lantern got his powers from a talking tree that spewed green gas. And I don't even want to think of the plotline...

So anyway, if Bryan Singer was making a movie about a super-powered being in our world with plausible abilities that can be scientifically explained, that's one thing.

But he made a movie about a comic book superhero who is the most powerful being on earth (unless Darkseid shows up) and can look through girls' panties.

i.e. it's fantasy just like Lord of the Rings.

I like that when Superman is scoping Lois's underthings with X-ray vision, he's bombarding her ovaries with deadly radiation.

SUPER CANCER!

I think the reason that superman can bouce bullets off of his eye is that he's really made entirely out of delicious saltwater taffy.

In other words, Lex Luthor can just lick Superman to death.

For the love of all that's DC! Don't tell the slash fic writers!

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Wow, all these responses, and no one has correctly answered your question yet.

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You are clearly the most idiotic person ever to walk the planet.

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stfu

fag

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The truth is that there is no real scientific explanation, not even the pseudoscientific explanation you gave that borrowed terminology from David Bohm's theory of physics. The only plausible explanation for Superman's powers is that he is a fictional character whose writers choose to make him do as they please.

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ok. i dont even remember posting that.
but as i am a man of my word....prepare yourself.

wow. that was a night.

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Yeah naked pics like you promised.

I'm really disappointed that no one has adequately explained Superman's powers scientifically. Or even pseudo-scientifically. From now on, I'll never be able to watch a Superman movie, serial, or cartoon without wondering, "Yeah, but what's the actual scientific basis for Superman's powers?"

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From now on, I'll never be able to watch a Superman movie, serial, or cartoon without wondering, "Yeah, but what's the actual scientific basis for Superman's powers?"

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Yeah naked pics like you promised.

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The truth is that there is no real scientific explanation, not even the pseudoscientific explanation you gave that borrowed terminology from David Bohm's theory of physics. The only plausible explanation for Superman's powers is that he is a fictional character whose writers choose to make him do as they please.

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Yeah naked pics like you promised.

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Sorry, no can do. My "sisters" have a hard and fast rule which sounds remarkably like a prayer except it ends with the words "lock and load" rather than "Amen"! Good luck!

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BTW, if anyone can explain this in a satisfactory manner i will post a pic of myself so fucked up on demerol and booze that i had to enlist the aid of two sherpa-lummoxes to drag my wasted ass around.

and i'll put bunny-ears on myself.

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You cut the "nude" part out of you quote. I knew you'd Welsh.

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I'm really disappointed that no one has adequately explained Superman's powers scientifically.

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I was talking to angryamerican. Not everything is about your nudity.

Nice red x btw.

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Scientifically speaking, if there was a human DNA strand that had the same characteristics which make up Superman, such as his strength, flying, x-ray vision etc, then it is possible to create a nanofactured "Superman". I don't know how one can explain Superman's powers given that he is alien to earth. It's possible his powers could be the result of biologicial evolution many times over in an environment that promotes/enhances these super powers. EG, if one is around products that promote static electricity, that tends to have an effect on the human body so who knows the result if that situation is magnified, it's anyone's guess.

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Psst! It's a comic book! It's not real!

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