The case for the prosecution alleges that.

- Mr Billings has not been seen doing anything "Geekish" for some time now.

- His life has revolved around insulting Mr.Wirthling , a thoroughly well thought out public service which is in no way Geekish.

- His Signature has been altered to a distinctly non-geekish phrase about loose lips spilling cum. It is common knowledge geeks NEVER get women , let alone blowjobs.

The defence calls its first witness , Mr Wirthling.

quote:

---

- Mr Billings has not been seen doing anything "Geekish" for some time now.

---

Guilty as Charged!

Gabe Billings, you are hereby sentenced to remaining a Colossal Geek for the remainder of your stay at StripCreator, with duties to include, but not be limited to:

• Badmouthing Wirthling every ten seconds
  
• Posting, or attempting to post, the "milestone" comics
  
• Felching gorillas and other animals
  
• Donkey Sodomy, inasmuch as does not interfere in Wirthling's tasks therein
  
• Maintaining and reviving, when necessary, the Colossal Geek thread
  
• Being a pedantic, smirking fuck, inasmuch as does not infringe the trademark of the other pedantic, smirking fucks at StripCreator.
  

Any attempts to renounce your Geek-dom will be ignored.

Court adjourned!

but but but...
we haven't called any witnesses...
like me...
i made a very obscure monty python reference and mr. billings not only knew of who i spoke, but gave me the even more obscure character name, that even i in my trivial retentive glory had forgotten.

i move for a mistrial, because mister billings has had no geek representation, no defense, no jury...
in short this court is a mockery... a farce.
appeal for do-overs, Muh'lud

quote:

---

- Mr Billings has not been seen doing anything "Geekish" for some time now.

---

Exhibit A, from the Happy Haloween [sic] thread:

quote:

---

It'd be cool to get ten friends and go as a set of bowling pins and a ball.

---

quote:

---

Exhibit A, from the Happy Haloween [sic] thread:

quote:

---

It'd be cool to get ten friends and go as a set of bowling pins and a ball.

---

---

quote:

---

quote:

---

Exhibit A, from the Happy Haloween [sic] thread:

quote:

---

It'd be cool to get ten friends and go as a set of bowling pins and a ball.

---

---

I think the operative part of that phrase is "It would be cool to get ten friends."

Geeks have dreams, too.

---

I've felt the sharp end of Gabe's geekishness in the 40k race. He's undoubtedly a colossus among geeks.

quote:

---

I've felt the sharp end of Gabe's geekishness in the 40k race. He's undoubtedly a colossus among geeks.

---

Gabe takes aikido. Which is cool.

Other than that, i don't think there's any evidance to support your case, Kevin.

I am not a geek at all. I have pored over these posts and have accumulated sufficient evidence to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am not a geek.

To wit:

I drive a fuckoff huge, beat-up, luxury car. Geeks like old Volvos and little teeny cars with LINUX stickers on them. I keep one of those cars in my trunk for a spare.

I work in the rock and roll concert industry and not only hang out with musicians, but I am also actually a musician. I just got back home from doing audio for an Eddie Money gig, a notoriously middle-aged, classic rock non-geek, who, by the way, rocked the living piss out of the house.

I do not fervently defend one specific genre or sub-genre of music; nor do I vehemently preach the benefits of open source operating systems. I mean, Bill Gates IS a complete twat, and Windows IS poo, but it gets me by ok.

Despite the fact that I have over $3,000.00 in Enterprise Edition coding software and compilers, I can't code for shit. I might add that all of these compilers are WIN32API. Not a GnuTools app in the house.

I have had drinks and lunch with more than a few people that are undoubtedly, - dare I say it? - Rock stars. The antithesis of geek.

I hated Star Trek DS9 and dismissed it as a very badly done soap opera.

My WAP phone is not activated for webside.

I have had sex.

Recently.

Despite the fact that I have a Borland Delphi 3 Object Hierarchy poster on my office wall, it is next to some backstage passes and actual hand-scribed greeting cards from actual women with whom I have had sex.

Some of them stated quite matter-of-factly that they would not be adverse to having sex with me again.

(Yeah.... that one sort of throws me for a loop, too.)

The last Star Wars film bit the hairy ham.

I don't give a flying fuck about /.

Thank you.

Now give me your lunch money and give yourself a swirly in the girl's john by third period.

I am a vocalist in a black metal band, as well as a keyboardist.

I drive a gas-guzzling '69 El Camino that has band stickers on it, not computer stickers.

I tried using Linux once, I got bored of it and went back to full-time windows use.

I commonly have dreams of running over a VW bug.

I have no desire for case mods.

I enjoy Comedy Central, Sci Fi channel, and Cartoon Network.

I am a guest DJ at a local radio station.

I've had sex with two different girls. One was before I was 18.

I'd rather date a beautiful woman who knows nothing about computers than one who is a complete computer genious.

I didn't enjoy playing Half-life on a LAN nearly as much as I should have.

Now, give me your allowance and get into your locker.

quote:

---

I've had sex with two different girls. One was before I was 18.

---

I hang out with a guy who is a tank.

Anything after the 70s is weaker than anything before the 70s.

I think you're lying on some parts.

I've never had much of a chance to be with girls, as there were about 12 attractive girls in my school, and all of them were taken.

I never said I was "cool" or "popular". I'm just not geeky.

Surely the act of making these lists is, in itself, quite geeky.

Agreed

:(
But, but not collossally so..

quote:

---

:(
But, but not collossally so..

---

quote:

---

I think you're lying on some parts.

---

Like Crabby says -- what is there to lie about?

I get laid more often than Wirthling jerks off.

My first lay was at the age of eight -- identical twin Swedish masseuses and a Philippine porn star; simultaneously.

My custom Hum-vee has a 12' bed for my ATV and my Harley Softail Classic (with genuine skull headlight ornament). This thing has fully stocked gun and liquer cabinets. At four miles to the gallon, it's emissions have defoliated game lands in 38 states.

I'm an absurd, hulking mass of rippling muscle. I can barely even flex my massive joints.

I demand fellatio on the first date.

I'd as soon smash a bottle of home-made corn squeezin's over your head as say hello. And I'm having sex with your mom -- right now!

Any questions?

I vote Conservative.

quote:

---

Any questions?

---

And, by the way, that post was supposed to be sort of self-effacing humour. Like "I'm not a geek, I'm some other kind of screw up."

I mean.... I got my ass kicked for my lunch money on a regular basis. The rock star thing is just a by-product of my profession. It's not like I'm really saying: "Boy, howdy, I am fuckoff cool! Nyah nyah."

I mean....

Never mind.

bunner,
over here,
in the small house in Cleveland,
saying things all wrong,
again.

You can emulate an SNES on a newer generation system?

quote:

---

Like Crabby says -- what is there to lie about?

I get laid more often than Wirthling jerks off.

My first lay was at the age of eight -- identical twin Swedish masseuses and a Philippine porn star; simultaneously.

My custom Hum-vee has a 12' bed for my ATV and my Harley Softail Classic (with genuine skull headlight ornament). This thing has fully stocked gun and liquer cabinets. At four miles to the gallon, it's emissions have defoliated game lands in 38 states.

I'm an absurd, hulking mass of rippling muscle. I can barely even flex my massive joints.

I demand fellatio on the first date.

I'd as soon smash a bottle of home-made corn squeezin's over your head as say hello. And I'm having sex with your mom -- right now!

Any questions?

---

quote:

---

You can emulate an SNES on a newer generation system?

---

Well I'm just away to see DJ Shadow- hurrah!

Oo?

Geeks.

quote:

---

What fucking planet are you living on.

---

All planets neigboring Keegus Permus Prime must submit 100 females a year to KPP, and the leader of said planet. The Keegus Permus Collective rules over 100 planets with technology "far superior to you puny earthlings".

Source: Keegus Permus - A Travel Guide, written by Kevin Keegans Perm, ruler of Keegus Permus Prime, and part time superhero.

I've never actually been to Keegus Permus, let alone Keegus Permus prime, so I can't verify any of this information. Kevin told me it was true, so I guess I have to trust him.

Oh, he also reprogrammed Tobor.

40761

I misspelled "Emperor". Repeatedly. Tobor is administering the required penance.

40771

Clearly Keegus Permus Prime , center of the universe , will be forced to send out its many armies to the neighbouring planets of Dragonius Xeros , and Clarkus Maximus.