It's Lent, time to be REAL honest about what one does, or else just give up eating meat like the rest of us! :D

Actually, he considers that bragging.

Bergie began to doubt the way to start his own investment finance company was to advertise on his shirt that he could be the Official Federal Financing rate.

And, the back of his shirt reads: "...Gay Mexican Midgets".

I think the white stains already effectively convey the jerking off message, and the text should read "no shit!"

Off's the name of his son.