Seriously, fuck The Happening.

 Your thoughts?

I've been jaded ever since the hydrophobic aliens from Signs. Fuck M. Night Shoobydooby. Fuck him in his stupid ass.

Oh, dear God. Hydrophobic aliens coming to a planet that is 70% water on the surface with toxic levels of humidity in the atmosphere.

But he's so spiritual... gag.

Hey, I've got a movie idea. Hydrophobic aliens start taking up residence on Mars. We're excited and curious, watching the 24/7 Mars channel. Then, BAM! They started bombing us!

So we bombard Mars with our siphoned-off greenhouse gases (thanks, Mr. Scientist!). The planet thaws, the Martians die horribly...

...and we get a brand-new planet to exploit! Happy ending!

I can't believe people are actually wasting money to go see it. I mean COME ON!!! IT'S A FUCKING MOVIE BY M. NIGHT SHAMYLAN! There's no way in hell it will be good, and the dry acting and slow moving story will all 'make sense' in the end where there's HUGE TWIST! OH MY GOD! M. NIGHT SHAMYLAN INTRODUCES TWISTS IN HIS ENDINGS! HE'S A GODAMN GENIUS!!!

But wait, oh, it's his first R-Rated film.

Nevermind! I'm gonna go see it tonight!

Dude, more like the Crappening.

the happening looked hilarious from the trailers

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BigFrank105 wrote:

But wait, oh, it's his first R-Rated film.

Nevermind! I'm gonna go see it tonight!

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lmao that was such a terrible ad campaign

NO SPOILERS HERE... the movie does that for you

I figured out the "twist" less than 5 mins in. We're talking titles and everything here people. I thought I had been ripped of as far as "plot" (if that’s what you want to call this shite) goes, BUT THE CHARACTERS INT THE MOVIE FIGURE OUT THE TWIST ONLY 20 MINS LATER!!!

It was a horrible movie. Everything everyone said sounded forced and unnatural. WAY too much exposition. Every time they turned on the radio they heard JUST what they needed to hear then turned it off. Sometimes the TV was on and you are forced to watch Disney channel quality overacting.

The special effects are terrible. It looks like a C- graduate student did the blue screen work. The first dead body you see is well crafted though. Enjoy that quality while you can...

The acting is horrendous. Granted they didn't have a lot to work with but sometimes i feel like Mark W and Zooey D were making fun of the movie and acting this horribly on purpose. Like, they thought they wanted to be in a M Night movie and agreed before they got the script.

I also saw the boom mic 4 times. Once was 5-10 mins into the movie when Zooey is contemplating answering the phone. Its top left and obvious.

Now that you know all of this I recommend seeing this movie with friends. Make sure you descibe all of the bad things about this movie and go forth and make a night out of it. Have fun making fun of this awful movie. I guarantee if you do you'll enjoy it much more than I did.

The only saving grace is James Newton Howard's score, which is only about average for him.

i aint-a-gonna see this movie. what the hell is the premise anyway?

since i only watch TV at the club, and therefore without sound, all i see is people killing themselves in the preview.

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AngryAmerican wrote:

i aint-a-gonna see this movie. what the hell is the premise anyway?

since i only watch TV at the club, and therefore without sound, all i see is people killing themselves in the preview. 

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 You've effectively nailed the entire plot. SERIOUSLY.

 My family is really into film. We usually see about one movie a week in theaters, mostly because there is virtually no other form of entertainment in Hesperia. This week I was forced to see The Happening. It sucked.

 Sincerely, the script was amaturish at best and the special effects/acting/everthing else was bad even by B movie standards.

Instead of going to see the Crappening (nice handle), I saw Mullholland Falls (what a uneven piece-o that was) and Pi: Life in Chaos (kinda fun and quirky). Then tonight, an unexpected bonus - A Face In The Crowd, Andy Griffith's first movie. Kazan directed, Patricia Neal co-starred as well as Walter Matthau. It became too preachy, and Griffith needed some more subtlety at times, but Neal was smoking and Matthau was crystal-clear. I'm really glad I saw it. Although I consider it a flawed film, it's brilliant and shattering at times. Sometime I couldn't believe I was watching a movie made in 1957.

And don't get me wrong about Griffith -- you'll be shocked to see what a fantastic actor he is. You'll never look at Mayberry the same way.

VITAJEX!!!!!!

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boloboffin wrote:

 

And don't get me wrong about Griffith -- you'll be shocked to see what a fantastic actor he is. You'll never look at Mayberry the same way.

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Yes..I remember seeing this for the first time in the eighties and thinking what an sob he can be! Parts of the movie are hard to watch..but at times it just grabs you.

in an attempt to hijack this thread, has anyone else seen 'The Fall' by Tarsem (1st movie- The Cell)?

eye fucking candy. recommend.

in a related query, what about Day Watch and Night Watch?

i thought the above two really rocked, even if they were Russian.

comments?

You know that movie Sex in the City?

I thought it would have been way better if they had called it T. Rex in the City.

What a missed opportunity.

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Zaster wrote:
You know that movie Sex in the City? I thought it would have been way better if they had called it T. Rex in the City. What a missed opportunity.

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you don't care about the bee's?

Can M. Night please just fall into a projector and have his face ripped off?  That would be a twist.

The ad campaign should have gone out of the way to avoid mentioning the directors name. I expect that would have increased sales quite a bit.

As for the "twist", everything I've read says there is none and he specifically told reporters there is none. I guess that's one way to cover when people notice there's no plot either.

I'll probably read the summary of this one on "The Movie Spoiler".com and leave it at that.

From what I've read, the secret twist is that at the end of the movie it's the audience that kills themselves.

I wish the trees could have killed the humans by extremely leafy rape... Or something along those lines. Something cool, ya know?

No, because then it would have been The Ruins, and it would have sucked even harder.

Are you saying it would have been Ruined?

The Rapening.

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BigFrank105 wrote:
The Rapening.

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I never saw 8 Mile.

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LuckyGuess wrote:

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BigFrank105 wrote:
The Rapening.

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I never saw 8 Mile.

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I've seen The Rapening it was 8 inches at best.