I wanted to make a comic that could actually follow from the events described in the OP.
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While I was working on this, I thought that it seemed somehow familiar. Eventually I realized why -- it's kind of eerily similar to this comic:
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What mysterious force compels me to write comics wherein people make ridiculous claims about three different kinds of food? Who can say?
I wouldn't want to influence the judge or anything, but it so happens that I won Comic Contest #3 with that one....