"These espresso beans are defective."

...and then suddenly, mid-bite and quite unexpectedly, Twinkles evolves religion

Having developed an extreme tolerance for catnip, Mr. Fussy switches to Catsmack brand heroin nibbles.

"UNNNGHH! UUUNNNGGHH!!" cried the cat right when he climaxed into his bowl of fish and chicken flavored Meow Mix, which confounded his owner who paid $300 to have the little bastard fixed!

In other news the famous cat singer Cat Cobain was found face down  in his feed folowing a suspected mouse over-dose. Police are currently questioning Catney Love, as to her possible involvement.

The Effects of Catnip

Grandma got a little possesive about her kibble, as the former Bojangles discovered.

"Honey, when I said I wanted to see you stuff your pussy full of cat food, this isn't what I had in mind"

This year's Nice Tentkeeping Homeless Recipe Award goes to Ralph "The Tooth" Jackson for his "Tabby and Caramelized Maggot Pie"

Like many American children, Mr. Tubbles couldn't even finish a meal without passing out due to his obesity and lack of exercise.  In other news, sales of laser pointers have gone up.