His forehead looks like my nutsack

Eh - whata you doin 'ere

Eh - why you lookin at me

Eh - go and shutta ya face

The effects of childbirth

heaven  shitman

Heaven must be missing an A-hole.

With a face that says, "I've been drop kicked through the goal posts of life."

Some people are hit with the ugly stick. Others fall out of the ugly tree, hitting every branch on the way down.  Leonard was launched head-first through the ugly forest using a trajectory that would assure the most contact with the ugly trees and landed in the ugly lumber mill at which point he was covered in ugly sawdust and left to rot for 20 years before being released into the world.

Leonard also likes cats.

Eddie Murphy needs to stop the lame movies.

When clearly his market is being dominated by Tyler Perry

He'll offer you a prayer you can't refuse.

Good ev-en-ing.  My name is Alfred Shitcock.