Imagine I'm speaking to you in a death-like monotone Austrian accented voice, like that guy in 'The Terminator'.
NEVER USE HAIR-CONDITIONER ON YOUR BONE FOR 4 DAYS IN A ROW. IT MAY FEEL GOOD, BUT IT WILL TURN YOUR 'COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO' SKIN INTO A CRUMPLY PAPER-LIKE MATERIAL WHICH THEN REQUIRES A HEALING PERIOD OF UNKNOWN DURATION. JUST DON'T DO IT IN THE FIRST PLACE. OK, YOU CAN TRY IT ONCE WITHOUT HURTING ANYTHING, BUT THEN STOP AND RETURN TO USING SOME KIND OF MOISTURIZING CREAM. THIS WILL ALLOW ONE TO SAVE WHATEVER MASTURBATORY CAPACITY ONE STILL HAS, NOTWITHSTANDING OF COURSE ANY OTHER SYSTEM FAILURES ONE MAY ALREADY HAVE SUFFERED IN THAT DEPARTMENT i.e., 'THE DEPARTMENT OF MASTURBATORY CAPACITY'. IF YOU ALREADY SUFFER FROM 'ZERO MASTURBATORY CAPACITY' a.k.a. '100% MASTURBATORY INCAPACITY', THEN YOU ARE (for all intents and purposes), ALREADY DEAD. THUS ANY MESSAGES WHATSOEVER REGARDING 'BONE HEALTH' i.e. *JIGGA JIGGA* SHALL BE (not should be), CLASSIFIED UNDER THE BRAND NEW CATEGORICAL CLASSIFICATION OF... (insert *TRUMPET FANFARE*)... add 3 second pause... add 1 more 3 second pause... and go with announcement-> 'MOOTLESS' a.ka. "I'M SO SORRY TO HEAR THAT." PERHAPS AN ICE-CREAM CONE OF THE 'SOFT' GENRE COULD QUELL YOUR DISTRESS. GIVE IT A SHOT... OR NOT. AT THIS POINT I DON'T FEEL I CAN OFFER HOPE OF ANY KIND. I WASN'T AWARE THAT I WOULD ARRIVE AT THIS STATE OF MIND, AND OFFER MY SINCERE APOLOGIES IF THE ABOVE MESSAGE HAS BEEN WRONGFULLY INTERPRETED AND/OR OTHERWISE MISREAD. PLEASE HAVE A GOOD DAY, AND REMEMBER TO WEAR A CONDOM IF ONLY TO THINK YOU'RE STILL IN THE GAME.
Wow! I just channeled Arnold.
Thanks ragu4u, I'll be back shortly with a new RCD....