I had never seen the dysfunctional family circus strip till you guys pointed it out to me. That's funny as hell. I liked the way all the punchlines were posted underneath a comic, so you could read a bunch at once. I thought we could try that here with a pic. Now only if we could find an pic outlandish enough to be funny...

Captions:

-When Billy the Squirrel first walked into the one-horse town, he didn't know much of anything. Who to barter with, who to steer clear of, and who the sheriff was were all mysteries to him. But he did know one thing. He was sure as hell gettin' some.

-Being able to walk upright wasn't Squirrelius Erectus's only unique characteristic.

-- It wasn't until he was halfway to the costume party that wirthling realized something wasn't quite right.

--Sadly, the Army's testosterone-enhanced Kung-Fu Squirrel had one glaring vulnerability.

Zippy the Squirrel quickly realized that his pockets weren't the best places to keep his shot puts.

"Nevermind the Bollocks. It's the Sex Rodents"

-Paleontologists the world over were surpised by new proof showing that the dinosaurs may not necessarily have needed their TAILS for counterbalance.

-...so the genie said, "What would you like for your first wish"...

-Though Ed did quite well with the ladies, his legs didn't have the required muscle strength for motion.

- He didn't walk on tiptoe for the sake of stealth.

- "...well, when I stuck the nuts in my cheeks they hurt my gums, so..."

- Chucky often wondered why people kept telling him how brave he was.

Gene made his way slowly over the rocky terrain. There were clearance issues to consider. Very important clearance issues.

--Betcha didn't know squirrels could get "'Nad Cow Disease." This little feller's nutsack'll soon swell up big as a Guernsey heifer and blow up like the Hindenburg, only with more blood.

--After seeing this picture, Eugene no longer took offense when the girls called him "squirrel nuts."

-- "Hey, Tommy, whadda ya think of my new testicular implants?"

-- And here we see the rarely seen syndrome called "squirreliasis."

-- Aroused. Very Aroused.

I don't know why I'm even trying. I don't think I can top "Sadly, the Army's testosterone-enhanced Kung-Fu Squirrel had one glaring vulnerability." That one floored me.

-My brother Pete got the looks in the family and my brother Joe got the smarts. And what did I get?! Nothing, just a big fat nothing!

-The most deplorable part of Dr. Moreau's work was that somewhere an elephant was walking around with squirrel nuts.

- "Son, I'm afraid this is only the beginning stages of elephantiasis."

- "Aroused. Very aroused. ...why do you ask?"

I'm surprised no one posted the second one already. Of course, maybe not everyone shares my taste for fillet of barrelfish.

- "'Wait a minute... I was supposed to store nuts for the winter for food? All this time I've been storing food for the winter in my nuts!'"

It's all I could come up with. In fact, please don't even read this post.

I showed this to my wife thinking she'd get a giggle out of it. She told me that one of the attending physicians at her hospital has this pic and uses it in every one of his lectures.

Apparently he forgot it in his most recent. The rest of the residents all wanted to know what happened to the squirrel with the big nuts.

quote:

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- "'Wait a minute... I was supposed to store nuts for the winter for food? All this time I've been storing food for the winter in my nuts!'"

It's all I could come up with. In fact, please don't even read this post.

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quote:

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- "'Wait a minute... I was supposed to store nuts for the winter for food? All this time I've been storing food for the winter in my nuts!'"

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- "So please send your donations today to help fight ETWADPS: Enormous Teststicles Without Any Discernable Penis Syndrome."

"Gene made his way slowly over the rocky terrain. There were clearance issues to consider. Very important clearance issues."

This one beats all in my mind.

"Now, some may believe the things hanging between the squirell's legs are testicles; not so say experts, who believe the squirell may actually use his "squirell-shaped testicles" to carry himself around."

"Todd was a real hit with the ladies until he revealed he was just severely allergic to bee stings".

"Some marsupials carry their young in twin groin sacs..."

Okay, so those were lame.