Boorite is so skinny...
- His belt has an alarm and a stopwatch.
- Sam Brown of explodingdog drew his portrait, but it looked too fat.
- He couldn't go into the school library, because the other kids kept using him as a bookmark.
- He never gets sunburnt, because the sunlight keeps missing.

DexX is so hairy...
- He never needs a costume at Star Wars conventions.
- Hell's Angels keep telling him to get a shave and a haircut.
- Diane Fossey is always giving him bananas.
- His barber has a set of hedgeclippers out the back.

Gabe is so bald...
- His headlice keep slipping over.
- Corporations keep asking him if he rents out billboard space.
- When he went to Jurassic Park, the dinosaurs tried to sit on his head.

Please, someone, help me out here... I'm dying...

DragonXero is so bald, ugly, and skinny
-He can't get a girlfriend. :D

Boorite is so annoying, his wife wishes she'd never dumped Gilbert Gottfried.

Suppose the opposite sex is scared away by your black death graveyard music?

BLEEEAAAAAUURRRRRGGHHHH!

Actually, I was just about to say...

DragonXero is so Metal that he can't get a date.

(Drexle then goes back to listening to his doomy death suicide metal and Bouncy Polka-metal.)

joshw is so dumb that you would think he's Canadian...

Oh, wait.

Even though *I* thought of the Death Metal joke before you?!?

Go sit in the corner and think about what you said, young man.

DexX
-Is so abstract and obtuse that he refers to eating as "to satiate the orifice" and sleeping as "the logical conclusion to plying the hour of man".

kaufman
-Is so covered in cat hair that he no longer needs clothes.

Kajun
-got so stoned he ordered chinese takeout and ate his mail when it got to the door.

quote:

---

Even though *I* thought of the Death Metal joke before you?!?

Go sit in the corner and think about what you said, young man.

---

quote:

---

Kajun
-got so stoned he ordered chinese takeout and ate his mail when it got to the door.

---

Bazilla is so dumb that Plankton see him as an evolutionary inferior.

Fuck has rapped so many Women , hes Mike Tyson's idol.

Kajun has so many aliases , Mulder and Scully are after him.

quote:

---

quote:

---

Kajun
-got so stoned he ordered chinese takeout and ate his mail when it got to the door.

---

I hate Chinese takeout, also, it would have to be some really lame-ass take-out shop if they still haven't delivered it by 9:30am (when the mail arrives).

---

Wirthling is so geeky, he lives in an Episode 2 trailer park.

DragonXero is so scary, he can only look in the mirror with the light on.

JrnymnNate is so fundie, he memorised his Bible's copyright notice.

Bazilla is so Welsh, I crapped on his lawn.

Wait, that doesn't work, does it?

Actually, most of the metal guys I know have girlfriends or wives. :|
Most metal bands have tons of female groupies... Especially the death metal bands and the gothic metal bands. The guys in goth metal bands have tons of women... AUGH.

quote:

---

JrnymnNate is so fundie, he memorised his Bible's copyright notice.

---

quote:

---

WRONG its public domain.

---

The english translation is public domain, but the books are copyrighted by the publisher.
KJV - http://www.fillthevoid.org/Kjv/about.htm
WEB - http://ebible.org/bible/WEB/

Nate is so stoned, he ate a huge fucking bag of corn chips.

Bazilla is so Welsh, he threw his panties at Tom Jones.

quote:

---

The guys in goth metal bands have tons of women... AUGH.

---

DexX is so broke, he bought a Fostex X-12.

DragonXero rocks so far out he doesn't really call it rock- its more "Higher Enlightend Death Metal".

DragonXero is so underground he often forgets to use equlization when playing with his mainstream friends.

Hrm, I'm lame.

dcomposed is so stupid he saw an airplane, then a bird, and said "Superman must be around!"

ladyj is so rude she firmly believes in the rule that swearing is ineffective unless you light the person on fire with the ferociousness of your words.

quote:

---

Bazilla is so Welsh, he threw his panties at Tom Jones.

---

quote:

---

quote:

---

WRONG its public domain.

---

Check again, Nate - every translation is copyrighted. Now, what did our friend Dave say about killing humour with dissection?

---

dcomposed is so lame he... uh... limps.

DragonXero is so metal, they won't let him into airports.

Kajun is so stoned, he always makes the most igneous comics.

Kaufman is so obscure, his favourite Star Wars character is the third stormtrooper on the left.

bunnerabb is so surly, he yells "Don't tell me what to do, fascist!" at every stop sign.

boorite is so skinny, when it rains he just balances a coaster on his head.

Teena Brandon is so XY that his girlfriend didn't notice he had breasts and a menstrual period.

dcomposed is so good that he is really really really good.

Brad is so Canadian he can actually listen to the Barenaked Ladies.

Andy is so Scottish that wae in ta snif o' ta glonin robble robble.

Dexx is so Australian that he thinks it is winter now.

Bazilla is so Welch that Americans mistake him for grape juice.

Tobor is so Tobor that he is Tobor.

[x] is so [y] that (x - 3)^4y + (1 / (y - x^2)) = 0!!

Ha, ha!

quote:

---

[x] is so [y] that (x - 3)^4y + (1 / (y - x^2)) = 0!!

Ha, ha!

---

quote:

---

Thiss sentence has threee errors.

---

quote:

---

Cheese is so Mandelly that (3 * Howie Mandell) - 2/3 cup of melted irish sweet cheese =
Sarah Brewer
3231 E. Lancaster Way
Brunswick, NJ 13298
Please knock, the bell doesn't work.

---

James should have whipped out his goodies and danced a little jig while whistling The Sailor's Hornpipe.

Funnily enough... (you can't make this shit up)

I was filling out a Kinsey Institute sex survey at the time. There I am reading "How many times in the past three years have you engaged in anal sex with another male? / Were you the insertor ('top')?" and two smiling Mormons come to the door.

I wasn't rude to them, precisely... in the strict sense of the word...

So how many times? And were you?

quote:

---

So how many times? And were you?

---

It was a rhetorical question.

On a complete tangent here, I was reading about Scientologists last week and, quite frankly, I'm scared that these people exist.

That's not really tangential. I feel the same way about Mormons.

And leprechauns.

And the village of carpet mites in my frontal lobe telling me not to NOT TO shovel them out with a spork. (But I'm starting to believe they're not on my side.)

Kevin Kegan's Perm is so gay, it hurts.

This also goes for alot of the people who use this discussion forum.

People like DexX (but not me).

quote:

---

Kevin Kegan's Perm is so gay, it hurts.

This also goes for alot of the people who use this discussion forum.

People like DexX (but not me).

---

quote:

---

Z_E is so gay , he trolls internet noticeboards calling himself "Precious" to pick up men called "Sundat8pm".

---

Silence, you strange Partick losers!

You used to be able to go to the Mormon web site (www.lds.org) and request a free copy be sent to you in the mail. Alas, they want money from you now.

We sent my father-in-law all kinds of fun stuff, including the Book of Mormon, Watchtower Magazine, Catholic Digest, stuff from the Jewish Defense League, and the like. He was probably the only guy in New Hampshire to get an issue of Ebony magazine, ever.

All this for a guy who peppers his everyday speech with words like "kike" and "coon."

Racist
by Frenzal Rhomb

I get tired of finding out
That what you think is given in the best relationships
Is just a pile of shit.

Well I get tired of finding out
That what you take for granted
Is thrown back into your face.

Sometimes it seems too late to educate
When there's a national debate
On an issue that appears to be so straight-forward
And you say it's alright
But it's not alright, it's not alright.

To ignore is to condone it, if you think about it.
Don't shut up -
You might as well be speaking
At the next One Nation meeting.

And everytime you have a pointless dickhead
Relating another unfunny and ignorant joke based on pigment
You should say,
"That belongs in yesterday."

Start today,
You can say, "It's not OK!"
Don't go along for the ride.
Well, it's not too late for you to say,
When they say that it's alright.
Well, it's not alright, it's not alright

Cause some of my best friends are racist.
Some of my best friends are racist.
I'm not racist,
BUT...

Well I get tired of finding out
That what you take for granted
Is thrown back into your face.
What a fucking waste.

Please don't feed me that old bullshit
Of the whispering of the soul.
You must be dreaming
Cause my soul is screaming,
"Shut up, you reactionary fuck!"

Start today,
You can say that it's not okay.
Don't go along for the ride.
Well, it's not too late for you to say,
When they say that it's alright.
Well, it's not alright, it's not alright

Cause some of my best friends are racist.
Some of my best friends are racist.
Some of my best friends are racist.
Some of my best friends are racist.

My best friends are arseholes.

The thing Dexx just posted is so long, by the time bunner finishes it his age will have doubled.

The thing Mr_Jass just posted is so short, by the time Bazilla reads it his age will have doubled.