My comics rule.

Christ , i havent seen anything this shit since my ex fiance tried to write a comic.

Rule what excatly?

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Christ , i havent seen anything this shit since my ex fiance tried to write a comic.

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Christ , i havent seen anything this shit since my ex fiance tried to write a comic.

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Let's have a link, then.

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I bet one of the reasons she broke up with you is that she sensed your lack of sincerity.

She just couldn't get used to Perm dressing up as Jessica Rabbit during sex.

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She just couldn't get used to Perm dressing up as Jessica Rabbit during sex.

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I bet one of the reasons she broke up with you is that she sensed your lack of sincerity.

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KKP has been living a lie. He's really welsh, and 0_Entropy is his son.

What? I heard he was insincere.

That makes sense. Nobody would admit to being Welsh.

I dunno, I've never given your sincerity much thought. I just know that when I ask my significant other his or her opinion about something I've produced, I'd love to hear that it's brilliant if it's brilliant, but I'd much rather hear carefully worded constructive criticism than get sunshine blown up my ass because my lover is too much of a wuss to share an opinion.

If I ask my S.O. if what I'm about to wear in public is unflattering (notice that I didn't say "does it make me look fat?" That's a bogus, loaded question.), I would rather hear, "maybe a darker top?" than, "You look beautiful, dear. Can we go now?"

Perhaps I'm just weird.

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I dunno, I've never given your sincerity much thought. I just know that when I ask my significant other his or her opinion about something I've produced, I'd love to hear that it's brilliant if it's brilliant, but I'd much rather hear carefully worded constructive criticism than get sunshine blown up my ass because my lover is too much of a wuss to share an opinion.

If I ask my S.O. if what I'm about to wear in public is unflattering (notice that I didn't say "does it make me look fat?" That's a bogus, loaded question.), I would rather hear, "maybe a darker top?" than, "You look beautiful, dear. Can we go now?"

Perhaps I'm just weird.

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One of my best friends ever was a well-known writer of a genre of fiction that I pretty much can't stand. I recall opening one of her books and being immediately struck by a certain expository cliche that I won't go into here. The rest of the book followed along similar lines. But she was absolutely one of my favorite people ever, and when she got married and moved away, I cried for months. Off and on, that is. Not constantly.

But the point is we never discussed what I thought of her work. She was a professional, and she had editors and fans and critics, and I wasn't any of those. That's why I was her friend.

My ex-wife, on the other hand, faults me for not being more "supportive" of her own creative enterprises. I don't think it's fair to say I wasn't supportive. I just never said a whole lot about her efforts. If she wrote a song, I'd play it, or if she drew something, I'd hang it on the wall or put it on a t-shirt, but I was pretty mum about the quality of it. That's because I loved her and so couldn't really have an "opinion" of her work. I don't think she understood that. I think she saw my neutrality as disapproval.

To my creative and artistically-minded loved ones, I'd say: "I'm not your critic or your editor or your fan. I'm your friend. So let's not put your work between us." I think the professionals understand that.

I love you, man.

PS - Your comics suck ass.

And your comics give off visible stink waves.

What if your significant other is a wurzel named Brian?

Not that mine is.

Lying, or omitting the complete truth is, in my opinion, one of the most important things to do in order to keep a relationship going.

A relationship based completely on truth and having no secrets is either a lie itself, or a healthy marriage.

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Lying, or omitting the complete truth is, in my opinion, one of the most important things to do in order to keep a relationship going.

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My ex-wife, on the other hand, faults me for not being more "supportive" of her own creative enterprises... but I was pretty mum about the quality of it. That's because I loved her and so couldn't really have an "opinion" of her work. I don't think she understood that. I think she saw my neutrality as disapproval.

To my creative and artistically-minded loved ones, I'd say: "I'm not your critic or your editor or your fan. I'm your friend. So let's not put your work between us." I think the professionals understand that.

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Boorite, I can understand bowing out or remaining neutral if you don't think it's a good idea to express your opinions. But I don't understand you thinking that you "couldn't really have an opinion of her work" because you loved her. Isn't there some kind of happy middle-ground somewhere that you could express your opinions to your loved ones without making them feel bad?

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I think all this discussion about honesty and relationships is distracting us from the larger issue of whether SmokeyMcPot rules.

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Suffice to say that i havent dated a larger woman since , because i honestly dont want another relationship where all i do is constantly reassure my other half.

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You needn't type what we're all thinking.

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I think all this discussion about honesty and relationships is distracting us from the larger issue of whether SmokeyMcPot rules.

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Kajun, you aren't married, are you?

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Once again I must add that I am a complete loser, who should be poked with sticks.

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I see where this is heading. Come on, guys, don't make us endure yet another conversation where Kajun boasts about how cynical he is while everyone else pretends to be sanctimoniously aghast.

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Nope! The "opinion" of a loved one is worthless or worse. That's the first thing you learn. And an artist or craftsperson really shouldn't look for "reassurance" from spouses or friends, not in the sense of criticism. Maybe in the general sense of "I believe in you and will help you mat and frame this stuff and take it to the show." But I don't think there's such a thing as "constructive criticism" between intimates. And again, it's not a matter of thinking it's a good or bad idea to express your opinion. It's a matter of whether you can even have an opinion, given your bias, being close to the artist.

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Although, someone once said that success of marriage is often measured by the bite marks on your tounge. Sometimes it's better just to hold back a bit.

When Marie is depressed I want to shake her and yell, "SNAP OUT OF IT!!!! You have plenty to be happy about, dammit!" But it's my husbandly job at that point to be quiet and comforting and not say much. I've had to learn to fight the urge to fix it with words or actions.

When it comes to art, Marie actually trusts my honest opinion when she is designing her jewelry. She knows that I have a pretty good eye for color and layout on a page or in a room, and it can be helpful with jewelry. She also knows my biases (I think crystals incorporated into jewelry look like cheap plastic trinkets) and judges them accordingly.

In any case, I don't have much fear of giving her my honest opinion of her art. We are usually on the same wavelength, and 90% of the time I confirm what she was thinking was a problem, anyway.

Sometimes I'll run comic ideas by her with alternative punchlines to see which works better. Though we have an understanding that I will never again show her a comic that features cornholing.

I guess, the point being... you pick your moments. Anyone who is brutally honest all the time is lacking in judgement.

All I have to say is that a relationship based on lies is akin to a house of cards; the slightest tremor will destroy it, and it's no fun to live in either.

And I've decided Dan's traditional "DexX is sleeping" stick will do.

::pokes Kajun with stick::

I want to chime in here.. I know the writer boorite's talking about, and the thing I think is even more amusing is that the man she married was an "Artist" that wasn't at all talented, even to fans of the genre of art he was doing. Plus, she was successful, and he wasn't at all... best he ever could achieve would have been "semi-notorious". I often wondered if the marriage would last--did it?

I like it when people close to me praise my art/work, but I know some people feel like if you can't be honest, you shouldn't say anything. But frankly, I don't think I could date someone whose creative pursuits I couldn't appreciate (on some level).

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I see where this is heading. Come on, guys, don't make us endure yet another conversation where Kajun boasts about how cynical he is while everyone else pretends to be sanctimoniously aghast.

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[I haven't dated in 13 years]I think honesty is the best policy. And I'm not talking gentle buttered over constructive criticism I don't want to hurt your feelings honesty. I mean BAM here's what I think. If you're in a healthy relationship (sexual or otherwise) with someone who you love, you know that there is no implied meaning in their words. What they say is what they mean, and they say it because they believe it, not because there's an ulterior motive, subconscious or otherwise.

Here's an example of unhealthy conversation between members of my family, bless their dysfunctional hearts:

aunt: "Go ahead and take that pie home if you want it."

mom: "No, that's okay. You keep it."

aunt: "No, we won't eat it."

mom: "I couldn't."

aunt: "Are you sure?"

mom: "Well if you won't eat it."

me: "PIE!"

aunt: "I thought you said you locked the closet?"

mom: "I thought I did! Quick grab the taser!"

etc etc

The point being they don't say what they mean, don't pursue what they want, and the next thing you know, there's an undercurrent of subconscious conversation going on while the conscious conversation is happening.
For instance:

aunt: "Go ahead and take that pie home if you want it." (If I don't offer, she'll think I'm rude.)

mom: "No, that's okay. You keep it." (She's just being polite. I don't want to take it if she wants it.)

aunt: "No, we won't eat it." (That will make her take it.)

mom: "I couldn't." (I think she's still just being nice, but I'm not sure.)

aunt: "Are you sure?" (Here's a way for me to get the pie and not appear rude.)

mom: "Well if you won't eat it." (I guess she really doesn't want it, so I'll take it.)

me: "PIE!" (CLOSET DARK! OBI SCARED!)

aunt: "I thought you said you locked the closet?" (Dumb bitch. No pie for you.)

mom: "I thought I did! Quick grab the taser!" (So I can tase you both, and make love to your husband on top of the pie."

etc etc (ad infinitum)

But if we all said fuck it and told the truth it would be something like this:

aunt: "Want to take some of the pie?"

mom: "Don't you want it?"

aunt: "Ya, but if you want some too, we'll split it."

mom: "Dig it."

me: "I'm gonna kill you bitches and make love to the pie!"

etc. etc. (Why doesn't daddy love me?)

So, directness is the way to go. And it's as easy as...ummm...[/I haven't dated in 13 years]

My turn! My turn!

[keep in mind, of course, that though I have never been in a steady "relationship" -- since I'm not fond of the whole game -- I have maintained 3 very healthy friendships for the last 12 or so years.]

Honesty (brutal or otherwise) vs Dishonesty (brutal or otherwise) truly depends on the individual(s) in question. I have one friend who is very artistic -- and very talented in that arena -- and one friend who wouldn't know art if it bit her on the earlobe.

The artistic friend is always asking for my opinions on her music. I tend to enjoy her music, and if there is a piece (or a segment of a piece) that I don't enjoy, I feel completely free to tell her, knowing that she genuinely wants to know my opinion. I'll even TRY to tell her WHY I like or don't like a piece. (Sometimes it's simply that I don't like it, and there's no reason, and she accepts that too.)

The other friend will ask opinions on things simply to have praise lavished upon her. That's unfair of me to say, I admit, but that's just how it seems to me. I have shared my "honest" opinion with her once. And it resulted in a fight. She didn't seem to understand that (unless otherwise instructed) if you ask the question, you'll get the answer. (This is why I tend not to ask for opinions. I know my "artistic endeavours" are crap, and I don't need anyone else to tell me.) She doesn't ask for my opinion often anymore, because my response when she does now is always the same: "Oh, that's nice."

I think the whole point here is this: If everyone who asked for an opinion TRULY wanted an honest one, there would be fewer discussions of THIS nature. However, sometimes it's better to just bite your tongue and say "Oh, that's nice" in order to spare easily-bruised feelings.

DexX, Bec, and LadyJ seem to fall into the former category of "tell me truly what you think", where some of the other examples here fall into the latter of "tell me it's good and we'll have wild kinky sex later."

There is no single answer. It's a matter of knowing the person (people), and using your best judgement.

I need to do some backtracking here.
Obi, I love you, man!

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If you're in a healthy relationship (sexual or otherwise) with someone who you love, you know that there is no implied meaning in their words. What they say is what they mean, and they say it because they believe it, not because there's an ulterior motive, subconscious or otherwise.

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All I have to say is that a relationship based on lies is akin to a house of cards; the slightest tremor will destroy it, and it's no fun to live in either...

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Well I'd say that sex fades. It’s not the core of a relationship. When you can't pay someone to experience what you get, then you've got a real thing going. Sure, it'd be lots of fun to people, but when you step back and that’s all you have, you don’t really care about the other person; you care about what you get in bed. I would think that a true loving relationship comes when you care about the other person to the point where the sex isn't most important.

Not that I have any experience.

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Well I'd say that sex fades. It’s not the core of a relationship. When you can't pay someone to experience what you get, then you've got a real thing going. Sure, it'd be lots of fun to people, but when you step back and that’s all you have, you don’t really care about the other person; you care about what you get in bed. I would think that a true loving relationship comes when you care about the other person to the point where the sex isn't most important.

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Nope! The "opinion" of a loved one is worthless or worse. That's the first thing you learn....(snip)

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Sorry mate, but I think that's just insane.

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But seriously folks, you are reasonably sure to alter your opinion of a work based on your opinion of the person who did it. I don't care how fucking enlightened and rational you think you are. It's a psychological principle. I mean look at me. Look at how rational I am. OK, bad example.

Also, I hope that my marriage doesn't depend on a mutual appreciation of each other's creative works. I hope to God not. Different ballgames.

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I know the writer boorite's talking about, and the thing I think is even more amusing is that the man she married was an "Artist" that wasn't at all talented, even to fans of the genre of art he was doing.

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"I'm gonna kill you bitches and make love to the pie!"

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You don't have to be a fully qualified art critic (whatever the fuck that means) to say "I like it" or "I don't like it" or "It makes me uncomfortable" or "Yecchh! I hate yellow and green together" or whatever...

Nobody is "qualified" to offer an opinion on a creative endeavour, any more than you can be qualified to conceive of one.

...oh, and no, boorite - I don't think my love for my wife makes me biased toward (or against) her when judging her work. It simply makes me more generous in my praise, and gentler with my criticism. Generous, gentle, or otherwise, I'm still honest.

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All I have to say is that a relationship based on lies is akin to a house of cards...

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...oh, and no, boorite - I don't think my love for my wife makes me biased toward (or against) her when judging her work.

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Why, you green-blooded, inhuman--!

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Well I'd say that sex fades.

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Why, you green-blooded, inhuman--!

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Stop being so motherfucking illogical, you overacting twit!

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Nobody is "qualified" to offer an opinion on a creative endeavour

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