Comic Contest #28 - There's a good idea in here...

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MatthewEastaugh
May 4, 2001 1:09 PM

...somewhere. If only I could find it.

So, following the supreme generosity of the winner of CC27, I get to set the rules here. Ah, power. If anything, the best thing about this is I don't have to make myself look stupid with an awful comic.

Instead, I have to make the rules. If anything, tho, I think that's worse.

Right then, here goes. I'll use the same standard kind of rules that everyone else does.

1. You must, at some point, use the phrase 'Gabba gabba hey!', and the word 'smitten'. Dunno why.

2. You must use the Killer Squirrel from kofightclub. Just because no one does, and I think he's feeling left out, bless him. Oh, and it must be in panel two, just to be awkward. More than one panel is allowed, but panel two at least.

And finally, in some kind of revolutionary vote type thing..

3. You must make fun of either..
A - The British.. or..
B - Wirthling.
Votes for whom is made fun of most will be tallied up at the end, and we will find out who is the worst.. once and for all. People who decide to be awkward and make fun of us both will be laughed at, and not in a good way. It is allowed tho.

Right, there we go. Winner to be announced on Wednesday evening, but that's GMT, so you work out when that is. Good luck to Braze, whom I promise not to be biased to - particularly seeing as this one just seems set for Gabe to win. Sorry if I've been overly awkward. Good luck to all!

Post #5977

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MatthewEastaugh May 4, 2001 1:13 PM	Oh yeah, and sorry that I didn't quite manage to work "MONOLITHIC DESIRE FOR LESBIAN PORNOGRAPHY" into the rules. (see CC27) Bonus points if you manage to do it yourself, though.
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wirthling May 4, 2001 1:17 PM	I think these contest rules are reason enough to hate the limeys....
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MatthewEastaugh May 4, 2001 1:25 PM	Well, you would say that. Don't worry, more people dislike the British than you. You're a loveable scamp, we're a nation of uptight oafs with dodgy teeth. But still.. Rule number 4 - Wirthling is only allowed to enter if he insults himself. Rule number 5 - Don't mess with the rule creator.
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boorite May 4, 2001 1:55 PM	Mostly I'm insulting the British, but I think I worked in the Wirthling insult quite seamlessly, don't you? 13929
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boorite May 4, 2001 1:58 PM	BTW, I hated to defile the memory of Joey Ramone by casting him as a beatnik, but the only alternative was Russ, and, well, he's a hippie. At least Spigot's wearing black...
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boorite May 4, 2001 2:02 PM	One more thing: Squirrel teeth===> British: That's MINE! Dibs!!
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Scyess May 4, 2001 3:42 PM	Sad, really... I shouldn't even have bothered. 13940
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bunnerabb May 4, 2001 5:30 PM	Gimmie a minute.... sigh Did you get these fucking rules from a tin of aerosol cheese? (finger gesture) (arm, arm - fist fist) Love, bunner
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Scyess
May 4, 2001 8:56 PM

quote:
Did you get these fucking rules from a tin of aerosol cheese?

An, um, interesting hypothesis...

Actually, what makes these contests fun is the challenge of creating something funny out of a bunch of pig shit that doesn't really go together.

I was surprised people could pull as much funny stuff as they did out of their asses for CC27; *I* couldn't've come up with anything. (I couldn't come up with anything for this one, either, which didn't stop me from posting it, unfortunately.)

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bunnerabb May 4, 2001 10:25 PM	No shit? Do go on.... I had no idea. :-)#) Love, bunner (He said "Um".. heh heh hmm hmm heh hmm heh)
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ObiJo May 5, 2001 12:32 AM	Umm, Hmmm, Umm motherfucking Hmmm. 14022
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MatthewEastaugh May 5, 2001 4:16 AM	I have successfully proved it - everyone hates me. Yay. Anyway, sorry about the rules. You should still be able to manage it tho, surely? It's not THAT hard... Cough.
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Braze May 5, 2001 4:29 AM	14034 Ignore the other one, for obvious reasons. I can't follow directions worth shit. My head is full of worms. Good night.
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bunnerabb May 5, 2001 9:09 AM	This is dedicated to how much Joey Ramone would have really hated wirthling. 14037
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DexX May 5, 2001 9:12 AM	http://www.stripcreator.com/view.php?ID=14038 14038 Hmmmm, looking at it now, I suppose I should have taken the time to add a punchline... Oh well, I suppose I have the DCCVCT to fall back on.
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DexX May 5, 2001 9:12 AM	http://www.stripcreator.com/view.php?ID=14038 14038 Hmmmm, looking at it now, I suppose I should have taken the time to add a punchline... Oh well, I suppose I have the DCCVCT to fall back on.
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MatthewEastaugh May 5, 2001 9:33 AM	A few days left - remember, get the entries in by Wednesday night GMT. Update on the vote standings, counting ones that insult both in both as one a piece.. Insult the British - 6 Insult the Wirthling - 3 I'm gonna go cry now. And start wondering who's gonna win, too..
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DragonXero May 5, 2001 11:02 PM	I still wanna know how the limey got the contest.
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MatthewEastaugh May 6, 2001 9:05 AM	quote: I still wanna know how the limey got the contest. Well, I begged and pleaded a bit, as is the way of the British. And Braze hadn't got any ideas, so he let me have it. Kind person, eh? Still, it succeeded in annoying all you lot.
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DexX May 6, 2001 9:51 AM	quote: I still wanna know how the limey got the contest. Talk to any Australian and ask for an explanation of the phrase "whinging pommie bastard". evil grin (I hope Matthew doesn't get the impression I don't like him...)
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MatthewEastaugh May 6, 2001 10:41 AM	DexX doesn't like me... :-(
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DexX May 7, 2001 6:54 AM	quote: DexX doesn't like me... :-( DexX runs up to Matthew and gives him a big warm brotherly hug. There you go, all settled. No hard feelings, I hope. DexX walks away whistling, surreptitiously pocketing Matthew's wallet.
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bunnerabb May 7, 2001 10:31 AM	For a country that makes a religion out of taking the piss out of everybody, you sure are a sensitive lot. Love, bunner (smirk, smirk)
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boorite May 7, 2001 11:20 AM	We now join Live at the Improv, in progress: What is it with English muffins? They're not muffins, and they're not English! G'nite folks!
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bunnerabb May 7, 2001 12:26 PM	In heaven, The Italians do the cooking, the Americans do the fighting, and the English do the organising. In hell, the Italians do the fighting, the Americans do the organising, and the English do the cooking. It's true (smirk) Love, bunner
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gabe_billings May 7, 2001 4:00 PM	14350 Oh, you British. Think you're so superiour with your extra u's and your ass-backwards roads and your monarchy and your scary ass foods. Black pudding? Yeecchhh!
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MatthewEastaugh May 7, 2001 4:05 PM	Yaaaaaaay! Only 6-4 behind now. But, dammit, less than two days to go. And only the eight entries to judge too. Sigh. Maybe it WAS too difficult. :-P
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bunnerabb May 7, 2001 4:28 PM	I'm ashamed of you all. Since when are we too good to welcome any half-assed, fog-trotting, teabag-sucking, banger and mash-scarfing, lime-licking, shoebox-sized car-driving, unintelligible-scousing bastard into this collective of sensitive and talented comic strippers? Tsk Love, bunner (Who is of English and Irish extraction, btw)
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gabe_billings May 7, 2001 6:19 PM	Are you shitting me? They eat 'toad in the hole'. What the fuck is that?
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bunnerabb May 7, 2001 9:18 PM	quote: OKay.. I'm starting to get a little drunk. I know, it's a Monday night, but I fucke dthings up with my girlfriend, so I'm drinking vodka. If you arsed things up with your main squeeze, you have to get some Jack Daniel's. Vodka is for housewives and little girls, dude. Get with it. Love, bunner
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wirthling May 8, 2001 12:55 AM	Blow this out your arse... 14463
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bunnerabb May 8, 2001 1:47 AM	Oh, Prunella!
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boorite May 8, 2001 7:58 AM	quote: If you arsed things up with your main squeeze, you have to get some Jack Daniel's. Vodka is for housewives and little girls, dude. Get with it. Bunner, vodka is OK if you're drinking in the car. Otherwise, I agree.
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boorite May 8, 2001 8:01 AM	quote: Are you shitting me? They eat 'toad in the hole'. What the fuck is that? Don't forget "spotted dick."
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MatthewEastaugh May 8, 2001 10:14 AM	6-5! 6-5! 6-5! 24 HOURS TO GO! VOTE WIRTHLING!!!
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DexX May 8, 2001 10:38 AM	Matthew seems to having a break, so here you go... Toad in the hole - as far as I understand it, either a sausage wrapped in pastry and baked, or a sausage dipped in batter and deep-fried. Definitely sausage coated with carbohydrate, anyway. Spotted dick - a hot sweet pudding with sultanas/raisins in it. Apparently quite yummy.
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boorite May 8, 2001 11:19 AM	quote: Spotted dick - a hot sweet pudding with sultanas/raisins in it. Apparently quite yummy. Sure, we in the States are fond of saying, "that looks as yummy as spotted dick."
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bunnerabb May 8, 2001 11:53 AM	I didn't "start" anything. 99% of these posts are humourous. Remember? So are you pissed off at Boorite's reply to my post, or just my post? I'm sorry you're angry and bitter. I think we've all been there. You posted yours on a message board. I have no interest in making sport of your personal misery. Now, if you wanna go and get angry witm me, you do that. bunner
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gabe_billings May 8, 2001 12:17 PM	quote: Now, if you wanna go and get angry witm me, you do that. Hay, Dr. Padantick wanted ewe too no that u spelld 'with' rong, you dum ass.
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bunnerabb May 8, 2001 12:22 PM	quote: Hay, Dr. Padantick wanted ewe too no that u spelld 'with' rong, you dum ass. Hooked on phonics, as you can see, did not quite work for "everybody".
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boorite May 8, 2001 1:52 PM	quote: ... I took it out th ewrong way. Seriously, I do drink cranberry vodka in the car and bourbon at home.
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ObiJo May 8, 2001 2:35 PM	All better, my ass. You two want to fight, and that's natural. But there's no fighting allowed in here. Any fighting must be taken over to the "I am a collosal geek" thread. Where, by the way, Jael and Britney Spears are filming "Lesbian Liaison."
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gabe_billings May 8, 2001 2:43 PM	quote: ... where by the way, Jael and Britney Spears are filming "Lesbian Liaison." Playing as a double feature with "Big Meaty Man Rumble", featuring ObiJo as Long Dong Silver and wirthling as Captain Felch.
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MatthewEastaugh
May 8, 2001 3:17 PM

quote:
Matthew seems to having a break, so here you go...

Toad in the hole - as far as I understand it, either a sausage wrapped in pastry and baked, or a sausage dipped in batter and deep-fried. Definitely sausage coated with carbohydrate, anyway.

Spotted dick - a hot sweet pudding with sultanas/raisins in it. Apparently quite yummy.

Wasn't having a break. Just celebrating, and going to a damp squib of a birthday party. But ANYWAY...

Sausage wrapped in pastry and baked = sausage roll.
Sausage dipped in batter and fried = battered sausage.
Multiple sausages in large amount of batter, cut into individual servings = toad in the hole.
All of the above = nasty horrible things.
Spotted dick = eurgh.

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ObiJo May 8, 2001 4:01 PM	quote: Playing as a double feature with "Big Meaty Man Rumble", featuring ObiJo as Long Dong Silver and wirthling as Captain Felch. Triple feature in fact. Gabe "Centimeter Peter" Billings will be summarily flogged by DexX in Effect. (All he wants to do is a zoom a zoom zoom and a boom boom.)
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NastyPope May 8, 2001 4:56 PM	14558 I want to thank Robert Rodriguez, Quenten Tarantino, and Cheech Marin for the inspiration for this trash.
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MatthewEastaugh May 9, 2001 10:39 AM	British pussy is quite nice actually. Don't insult it till you've tried it. My friend Rachel has many cats, and they're all great. 7-5. :( Results in about an hour or two.. so sneak in a few last minute cartoons if you wanna.
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NastyPope
May 9, 2001 11:21 AM

quote:
British pussy is quite nice actually. Don't insult it till you've tried it.

Now now, don't get yer knickers in a twist, you are the one that gave us the choice to insult the british or wirthling so don't complain when we uphold your rules or I'll have to call you a poo faced git or some such thing.

btw, I've had British pussy and it all depends on the individual woman, not her race/country/creed.

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MatthewEastaugh
May 9, 2001 11:32 AM

quote:
Now now, don't get yer knickers in a twist, you are the one that gave us the choice to insult the british or wirthling so don't complain when we uphold your rules or I'll have to call you a poo faced git or some such thing.

See, traditional British sarcasm doesn't come over very well in text, does it? Darn it. I could use smilies, but I hate the blooming things.

Anyway, I was talking about cats. Do have a sick mind or something, Popey? :P

(Argh.)

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