OK, I have added you to my list. No, not my favorites list--the other list. You're next in line after kaufman, deucepm, and a few others who have foisted foul puns upon us.
I'd sleep with one eye open if I were you. You can probably keep one eye closed, though. Then again, that would screw up your depth perception so you might not be aware how far away I am when I attack. Therefore, you should probably sleep with both eyes open.
Hmmm...It would probably be hard to sleep with both eyes open. Maybe instead you should get a guard dog. Of course, a guard dog could be bought off with raw steak.
Maybe a guard ninja would be better, since he would be much less likely to be impressed by raw steak. Instead, I would have to take out the ninja with a tranquilizer dart. Don't think for a minute that I couldn't get my hands on a tranquilizer dart and a blowgun if I want one, though, pal.
Anyway, you're on my list...