"I can lick any sumbitch in this place..."

Coming this fall on ABC: "The Bionic Bird".

"Psst, just between you and me... that guy over there, he's wearing a thong right now."

"Damn it! I keep telling you, I'm NOT Dick Cheney!"

"Okayyyyy, you! The one turning blue..."

"Mr. Schwarzenager, how do you feel about criticisms that you've gotten too old for your part in the next Terminator sequel?"

"How bout I jam my fist so far up your...are these cameras on?"

"And then when I had this fist up her clam I... wait I have ta put down these books to show you the rest..."

This was the signal he gave to his wife to tell her that when he got home, he'd give her such a fisting.

"I wish I hadn't sat on that microphone, it'll take Cheney forever to get it out!"

As usual, Congressman Murphy closed the press conference by making the international sign for "wankers" at the press.

Looks like he has a wedgie...or just has to crap...w/e :(

"The way I see it, we need to rule with an Iron Fist. Be firm...and get rid of the Jews...and the Hippies...and what? Cameras? Shit..."

"I have gathered this press conference to finally reveal what I am holding in my hand.."

For some reason, Representative Mckinley always ends a press conference by pretending he has a riding crop under one arm, marching out of the room without bending his knees, before turning around and hailing hitler while flashing the press.

Never being very good at playing "Which hand is it in?", the Senator decided to use something a bit smaller than his World Book Encyclopedias next time.

"A tiskit a taskit/I go tit for tat with/anybody who's talking this shit that shit/Chris Kirkpatrick, you can get your ass kicked/Worse than them little Limp Bizkit bastards/And Moby, you can get stomped by Obie/You 36 year old bald headed fag blow me/You don't know me, you're too old/Let go, it's over, nobody listens to techno"

God'll smite you young heathens! Just you wait!