Forum archives » Fights Go Here » Are you an Asshole?

israphael
January 8, 2003 11:40 AM

My Sport Utility Vehicle is a Mountain Bike.

Post #77653link

not_Scyess
January 8, 2003 3:03 PM

quote:
They often lack confidence in their driving skills.
quote:
Bradsher quotes auto execs who concede that the self-centered lifestyle of SUV buyers is apparent in "their willingness to endanger other motorists so as to achieve small improvements in their personal safety."
When I ask people who have absolutely no need for something as big as an SUV why they have an SUV, this is the #1 answer I get: "Because I'm worried about an accident." In fact, that's pretty much the only answer I get.

quote:
They tend to like fine restaurants a lot more than off-road driving, seldom go to church...
Not fair! This describes me and I loathe SUV's.

quote:
Bradsher quotes a former Ford market researcher who says the SUV craze is "about not letting anything get in your way, and at the extreme, about intimidating others to get out of your way."
This is why I never let SUV's push their way through me in traffic. If you're tailgating me in your SUV, you'd better be prepared to hit me and let your behemoth machine result in your paying for my overpriced Acura replacment parts.

quote:
He doesn't equivocate in his feeling that driving an SUV is a deeply immoral act that places the driver's own ego above the health and safety of those around him, not to mention the health of the environment.
That's not entirely fair... I mean, there is the occasional SUV driver who actually NEEDS to drive something that big, to go offroad and to haul shit around. I mean, at least I assume those people exist.

quote:
The occupant death rate in SUVs is 6 percent higher than it is for cars E8 percent higher in the largest SUVs. The main reason is that SUVs carry a high risk of rollover; 62 percent of SUV deaths in 2000 occurred in rollover accidents. SUVs don't handle well, so drivers can't respond quickly when the car hits a stretch of uneven pavement or "trips" by scraping a guardrail. Even a small bump in the road is enough to flip an SUV traveling at high speed. On top of that, SUV roofs are not reinforced to protect the occupants against rollover; nor does the government require them to be.
Haha!

quote:
Because these beasts are so big and hard to see around (and often equipped with dark-tinted glass that's illegal in cars), SUV drivers have a troubling tendency to run over their own kids.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

quote:
Social pressure can be a powerful determinant on car choices, as seen in Japan, the one country where SUVs have not caught on because of cultural checks that emphasize the good of the community over that of the individual.
Thanks, israphael, I greatly enjoyed this article. It seemed very obviously written by someone with SUV-rage, and its logic got specious at times (and sometimes downright silly, as in the quote above), but I think it's a great read.

I've often hoped gas prices did spike up, just to punish those fools getting 10 mpg in their SUVs. 8)

Post #77664link

Mmmm_Penis
January 8, 2003 3:19 PM

Assholes? Where? Are they puckered tight? If so, lemme at 'em!! SPROING!

Post #77668link

fuzzyman
January 8, 2003 5:04 PM

quote:
The Dodge Durango, for instance, was built to resemble a savage jungle cat, with vertical bars across the grille to represent teeth and big jaw-like fenders.
Obviously, the author has never seen a Dodge Durango.

Yeah, big, savage vertical bars there. Looks like the traditional Dodge crossbars to me.

Post #77675link

israphael
January 8, 2003 8:09 PM

Nope, not big enough.

Post #77687link

israphael
January 8, 2003 8:19 PM

quote:
That's not entirely fair... I mean, there is the occasional SUV driver who actually NEEDS to drive something that big, to go offroad and to haul shit around. I mean, at least I assume those people exist.

Yeah, but if you're hauling heavy loads use a van. And if want to go off-road, you're better served going with a pickup truck with four wheel drive. In spite of the advertisements, SUV aren't made for off-road conditions. Just ask the drivers of tow trucks how much of their business is pulling SUV where they shouldn't have gone.

My boss can tell you from personal experience that you need the proper vehicle for hauling heavy loads on unpaved surfaces. You try transporting bags of gravel to your ranch, taking a curve too fast and wide in rainy weather, slide off the road and down an embankment, and wrapping the SUV around a tree.

Post #77688link

not_Scyess
January 8, 2003 10:54 PM

Even though I hate the status-flaunting of SUV drivers, even I have to admit vans a pretty dorky looking.

And anyway, if you're going to be hauling bags of gravel offroad in wet weather, you'd be better off not taking ANY vehicle around turns too fast. But I agree that a lower center of gravity would certainly be less condusive to rollovers.

I have, in the past, rented and driven a Ford Expidition for hauling drums and equipment over long highway distances. No complaints, except for the atrocious mileage. I would be loathe to drive one, however, if I didn't have a bunch of stuff to schlep.

Post #77700link

Devin
January 8, 2003 11:12 PM

quote:
fuzzy's PIC
Oh my god, quit posting these violent pictures! I have children watching the monitor, damnit!

But seriously, the Ford Expedition is probably the scariest SUV of all. My van's only 2/3 the size of that monster!

Oh yeah, just tonight the local news was talking about how people driving SUVs are actually helping terrorism, though I didn't see it. Anyone have a similar article on the net?

Post #77701link

fuzzyman
January 9, 2003 5:24 AM

Yah, heard in NPR this morning. The ads are going to run during the Sunday news shows.

Post #77719link

punkrockskaboy
January 9, 2003 5:37 PM

narf.

Post #77763link

boorite
January 10, 2003 7:33 AM

21015
27367
27368

Post #77797link

kaufman
January 10, 2003 7:56 AM

80506
89620
113878

Post #77798link

User #16352
January 10, 2003 10:10 AM

quote:
Are you an Asshole?
quote:
Yes.

Post #77811link

UnknownEric
January 10, 2003 11:19 AM

(With all apologies to The Royal Tenenbaums):

I don't think you're an asshole, boinky. You're just kind of a son-of-a-bitch. ;)

Post #77820link

User #16352
January 10, 2003 11:23 AM

Awww.......SILENCE!

Post #77821link

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