That last contest put me in sort of bookish mood. Comic bookish, to be precise. Thanks to my grotesquely overdeveloped musculature, I'm often mistaken for a superhero (*hack, wheeze*). But the fact is, I've never liked them much. Take away thier courage, thier strength; thier good looks, brilliant minds and lightning fast reflexes, and what have they got? Nothing, I tell you! So I'm establishing my own Legion of Doom.

Everyone knows the best way to dispose of a meddlesome superhuman is with a cunning death trap. So I want you to take an established hero and put them in an absurd or impossible situation. Alternately, you can take a page or panel from a comic book (as was done to great effect last contest) and alter it to make a well known super-type look rediculous. That'll show 'em! You have until Jan. 19 at 6:00 EST. That's when my microwave satellite array is scheduled to melt the polar ice caps.

go here for mine

and here

That first one was one of the best things I've ever seen.

I choose... Iron Chef Kryptonian!

The old dick in the bowl trick.

All the hero has to do is sit down and recive a joyfull suprise.

Now that's my kind of toilet!!!!!!

Note to self: Stay away from Boinky.

Note to self: If I'm ever at Boinky's house and have to 'go'--HOLD IT!!

Why suffer holding it? Do what I do, piss in his bowl of Cheerios.

Note to self: use boinky's toilet.

Note to self. Don't drink the yellow milk at TheElPaso's.

Note to self: Remember to clean up after masturbating.

i forget to close my mouth sometimes, too.

I like to squeal like a little piggy when I masturbate.

entry, yo.

quote:

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entry, yo.

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You can cut and paste the url if you right-click on its properties.

i feel just awful now. i mean, it's okay to have problems viewing a page as long as the page is worth viewing, but my stuff is just crap.

(:

I'm standing by my single entry. It took me too long to do that for me to do another!!!

What the hell happened to Spidey's eye? Did that pussy take a chunk out of his skull?

That's how it was in the image I lifted, and I couldn't do justice to the restoration process. So yep, Garfield chomped it!

In true villianous fashion, I am arbitrarily stepping up my deadline. You have 48 hours (Saturday around noon Stripcreator time) to get any last minute entries in, or my tractor beam will... implode the solar system! Or something.

Batman isn't good with kids, so I figure, you can get him sent to jail when he kills some pre-schooler in dodgeball.

For sale, now!

(cheap!)

Spawn Lake.

Hear ye, hear ye! This meeting of the Masters of Mischief is now called to order. I'll dispense with the reading of the minutes and get right to the first order of business. Progress report, people! What have we got?

Boinky Man: Disguised as an innocuous toy merchant, I've introduced a certain meddlesome Kryptonian to that most intractable of conundrums, the Rubik's cube. Unless he solves it by January 18, 2007, it will explode!

Dr. Kaufman: But... What if he just flies it into outer space and hurls it into the sun before then?

Boinky Man: It -- it will explode! (awkward silence). Anyway, I have a back-up plan! My minions have been prank-calling Superman at every telephone booth in the city. It's getting to the point where he is afraid to use one!

Fuzzy Man: Boinky has minions?... Look, I'm sure you're working Superman's last nerve and all, but for the coupe de grace I've devised a real death-trap. I've lured Superman into an episode of Iron Chef. The kicker is, the secret ingrediant is Jovian Brain Worms! Muh-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha!

Decomposing Man: Don't you think Supes is likely to notice that?

Fuzzy Man: That's the beauty of it! No one knows what's supposed to be in those traditional Japanese dishes.

Decomposing Man: Look, why don't we just stick a big rubber dick in his toilet?

(general nodding and agreement...)

Il Schmuckutron: That is indeed a worthy scheme, fetid one, but not necessary. I had the foresight to implant red kryptonite in Boinky Man's Rubik's Cube. Its other-worldly radiations will mutate Superman's body in unforseen and disturbing ways, beginning of course with his hands and eventually spreading to his entire being. Just look at this recent photograph... the change has already begun!

Boinky Man: (Glances at own hands, vomits.) I'd like to be excused, please.

Dr. Kaufman: You people have been completely ignoring the threat posed by the Marvel pantheon of super-heroes. I've taken the liberty of shrinking thier wall-crawling icon Spiderman down to size and placing him in the residence of one Garfield the Cat, famous for his hatred of all things arachnoid. Its going to be a total Cat-astrophe, in the face of which Spidey will be reduced to a state of quivering Cat-ilepsy.

Decomposing Man: What if Spiderman just kicks Garfield in the balls?

Dr. Kaufman: No problem! You should always have your pet spidey-nuetered!

Il Schmuckutron: Do not evoke my anger! You've been warned never to raise the power of the pun against this assembly!

Kaddar the Merciless: Look, while you people have been playing games, I've put both DC and Marvel's backs up against the wall. I've lured Batman into a daycare setting where he's totally out of his element. I've talked with Bizarro and he has drawn up a basic but essentially sound plan for finishing Supes off. And I've convinced J. Jonah Jameson to advertise my sticky Spiderman traps in the Daily Bugle. Soon, no residence in the city will be without one!

The Crimson Buffylavalamp: In the mean-time, I've used my powers of hypno-suggestion to convince Spawn that he is a gentle ballerina. After he sees the photographs, his days as the premier macho fuckhead, "grim and gritty" super-hero will be over!

Kaddar the Merciless: It seems there is only one issue left to resolve. Who's going to run the next contest?

(thoughtful silence, followed by an intense battle for supremacy...)

Kaddar the Merciless: (looking around triumphantly) Your efforts have all been worthy. But in the end, only one can survive to judge the next contest. And that one... is me!
Muh-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha!

...
Excellent job, guys. Excelsior.

meh.

Huh? Which superhero is harmed by wood shavings?

That was a cool way to judge.

In a word: Argh.

Dexx's Rule strikes again!

I think I may enter the next one...