God just fucks you up anyways.

JESUS DIDN'T EVEN EXIST YOU IDIOTS, THERES NO EVIDENSE.

The people who wrote the bible were most obviously on drugs and wanted attention. How can anyone take any of that babble to heart?

Seriously, if you're religious, you're messed up.

Ps zoloft doesn't work

I am an atheist, however, there is historical evidence that there was a Jesus of Nazareth. The evidence supports the bible only as far as him existing. Any further and the bible is probably talking poo.

Jesus was cool. He told people to be nice, and they killed Him.

Romans suck ass.

Seriously, what people fail to understand is that it doesn't matter whether Jesus was the Son of God or not. The message is what matters. Be nice.

BTW, how can God fuck you up if you're an atheist?

Goooood told me to skiiin you aliiiive!!!

You're gonna hurt Jesus' feelings, Mister.

if you ever want to have serious philosophical debates with people who are primarily atheist and skeptical, I recommend the straightdope.com message boards. They're awsome at arguing.

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Jesus was cool. He told people to be nice, and they killed Him.

Romans suck ass.

Seriously, what people fail to understand is that it doesn't matter whether Jesus was the Son of God or not. The message is what matters. Be nice.

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I thought Jesus' message was whosoever believeth on Me shall have eternal life but whosoever don't shall get smited verily or some such.

Fuck that! Bullshit his message was "Be Nice." A lot of the stuff he had to say dealt with God and telling people what to do! He told people what they should think and how they should act.

People that say Christianity is about the "Love" and "Being Nice" are just apologizing. It makes no sense. If the real message is "Be Nice" then why is the Bible FULL of anger and death? Even God got pissed at times. At one point, I remember reading about how Moses had to tell God to chill out because the Jews were throwing rocks at a "cloud" that represented God. God was gonna kill all of them!

That's not "Be Nice" in my book. The New Testament is full of rules and specific directions. The Old Testament is full of blood and despair. Bill Cosby said "Be Nice." Jesus said "Be Nice THIS WAY." You can't break Christianity down into "Be Nice," because that's what all religion can be broken down to(except Buddhism, which breaks down to "This Sucks.") You don't need Christianity to tell people to chill out and be nice to each other. Many books, stories, or movies say the same thing without the baggage.

People believe in Christianity because they are afraid of Death or need someone stronger than them to fall back on. If you say otherwise you are lying.

You don't need Christianity to make yourself a good person. Just be one.

You don't need Christianity to believe in God. The idea of God is a very personal thing. Everyone's God is their own. I'm an Atheist, but not an angry one, and I understand very well why someone might have faith in God.

I'm not saying Christianity is a bad thing. Well, I sort of am, but only for someone like me. It just gets on my nerves when people say "It's just about a guy telling people to be nice to each other." That's what Mister Rogers was about too. Very different, don't you think?

I apologize if I offended you.

P.S. And don't tell me Jesus was the first guy ever to realize that people needed to be good to each other, thus inspiring all these books, movies, and stories I previously mentioned. That's bullshit and you know it.

Mr. Rogers was a lot nicer than Jesus.

Jesus was REALLY speaking out against the corruption of Judaism. He was saying how people were following the letter of the Ten Commandments (i.e. rules lawyering) but not the spirit. A case in point: the Ten Commandments says not to commit adultery, but Jesus said that if you're simply looking at another woman, you might as well have (something to that extent).

It's almost ironic that, centuries later, Mohammed rises up to speak out against the corruption of Christianity.

I think Jesus was also speaking out against Roman oppression.

As for his whole "love thine enemies" bit, that probably stemmed from his ideas on how to deal with the oppression and the corruption.

Jesus, I'm bored!

Jesus: Curing boredom since 15 A.D.

So he was boring before he turned 15?

Moses and all that Wrath of God, smiting and killing stuff was Old Testament. Jesus came along and basically said, "Fuck all that. Be nice."

Yes, he did say one had to believe in him to gain eternal life, but how far does that belief have to go? Does one have to believe that Jesus is the Son of God, or simply that the message is sound?

John 3:1
Now there was a man of the Pharisees, named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews;

John 3:2
this man came to Jesus by night and said to Him, "Rabbi, we know that You have come from God as a teacher; for no one can do these signs that You do unless God is with him."

John 3:3
Jesus answered and said to him, "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God."

John 3:4
Nicodemus *said to Him, "How can a man be born when he is old? He cannot enter a second time into his mother's womb and be born, can he?"

John 3:5
Jesus answered, "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.

John 3:6
"That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.

John 3:7
"Do not be amazed that I said to you, 'You must be born again.'

John 3:8
"The wind blows where it wishes and you hear the sound of it, but do not know where it comes from and where it is going; so is everyone who is born of the Spirit."

John 3:9
Nicodemus said to Him, "How can these things be?"

John 3:10
Jesus answered and said to him, "Are you the teacher of Israel and do not understand these things?

John 3:11
"Truly, truly, I say to you, we speak of what we know and testify of what we have seen, and you do not accept our testimony.

John 3:12
"If I told you earthly things and you do not believe, how will you believe if I tell you heavenly things?

John 3:13
"No one has ascended into heaven, but He who descended from heaven: the Son of Man.

John 3:14
"As Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of Man be lifted up;

John 3:15
so that whoever believes will in Him have eternal life.

John 3:16
"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.

John 3:17
"For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him.

John 3:18
"He who believes in Him is not judged; he who does not believe has been judged already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

John 3:19
"This is the judgment, that the Light has come into the world, and men loved the darkness rather than the Light, for their deeds were evil.

John 3:20
"For everyone who does evil hates the Light, and does not come to the Light for fear that his deeds will be exposed.

John 3:21
"But he who practices the truth comes to the Light, so that his deeds may be manifested as having been wrought in God."

John 3:22
After these things Jesus and His disciples came into the land of Judea, and there He was spending time with them and baptizing.

John 3:23
John also was baptizing in Aenon near Salim, because there was much water there; and people were coming and were being baptized--

John 3:24
for John had not yet been thrown into prison.

John 3:25
Therefore there arose a discussion on the part of John's disciples with a Jew about purification.

John 3:26
And they came to John and said to him, "Rabbi, He who was with you beyond the Jordan, to whom you have testified, behold, He is baptizing and all are coming to Him."

John 3:27
John answered and said, "A man can receive nothing unless it has been given him from heaven.

John 3:28
"You yourselves are my witnesses that I said, 'I am not the Christ,' but, 'I have been sent ahead of Him.'

John 3:29
"He who has the bride is the bridegroom; but the friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly because of the bridegroom's voice. So this joy of mine has been made full.

John 3:30
"He must increase, but I must decrease.

John 3:31
"He who comes from above is above all, he who is of the earth is from the earth and speaks of the earth. He who comes from heaven is above all.

John 3:32
"What He has seen and heard, of that He testifies; and no one receives His testimony.

John 3:33
"He who has received His testimony has set his seal to this, that God is true.

John 3:34
"For He whom God has sent speaks the words of God; for He gives the Spirit without measure.

John 3:35
"The Father loves the Son and has given all things into His hand.

John 3:36
"He who believes in the Son has eternal life; but he who does not obey the Son will not see life, but the wrath of God abides on him."

So it doesn't really matter if you're nice or not, only that you believe in Jesus as the son of god?

By believing in the Son of God, he probably means to believe in his teachings. The reasoning behind it is probably that if you don't believe in the person who made the teachings, you probably don't believe in the teachings.

Man oh man oh man oh MAN oh MAN.

This is like watching people try to interpret ancient texts with insufficient knowledge.

I don't know whether to laugh or tear my eyeballs out.

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Man oh man oh man oh MAN oh MAN.

This is like watching people try to interpret ancient texts with insufficient knowledge.

I don't know whether to laugh or tear my eyeballs out.

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Didn't Samson tears his eyeballs out?

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Didn't Samson tears his eyeballs out?

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Oedipus Rex tore his own eyes out. Is that what you meant?

I disagree, Devin. Why would it be said in such a roundabout way? Especially since the people writing the bible were putting their own perspective in.

Jesus is my special friend.

He tells me to kill only the evil people.
The ones with the purple glow.

Jesus is calling me... I have to go.

Did John actually witness any of this exchange? No.

What exactly does "born again" mean, anyway? Perhaps it simply means that one follows the teachings of Jesus. One has no say in their birth into this life, but maybe they have a choice in their birth into the next life.

You can interpret the Bible in a hundred different ways. Maybe Moses saw a Christmas tree sent from the future, and mistook the colorful, blinking lights for fire that did not consume. Maybe all the religions of the world are the result of time travelers playing a big joke on us.

There's one thing I know, though. Adam and Eve were naked in the Garden of Eden, and it was totally hot.

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I disagree, Devin. Why would it be said in such a roundabout way? Especially since the people writing the bible were putting their own perspective in.

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[quote}Didn't Samson tears his eyeballs out?

So, no.

He didn't.

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[quote}Didn't Samson tears his eyeballs out?

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Of course, then Samson discovered that eating spinach would restore his strength for a short period. So, he beat the crap out of the king and he and Delilah lived happily ever after, once Samson sang a short and badly written song.

By the way, I learned all about Samson from a Popeye cartoon.

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You should write a children's bible. You tell good stories, but next time, can you make Samson say "Wiggita wiggita wack!" before he crushed those pillars? Rad.

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Now can anyone tell me the name of the King who, in anger at another man, slaughtered and cooked his son, then secretly served it to him for dinner, waited for him to finish it all, and THEN told him what he had just eaten?

I want to know, cause I'm trying to come up with a clever alter-ego for SC, and I heard then name "Pederast" isn't so hot.

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Jesus is calling me... I have to go.

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Now can anyone tell me the name of the King who, in anger at another man, slaughtered and cooked his son, then secretly served it to him for dinner, waited for him to finish it all, and THEN told him what he had just eaten?

I want to know, cause I'm trying to come up with a clever alter-ego for SC, and I heard then name "Pederast" isn't so hot.

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I'm trying to come up with a clever alter-ego for SC, and I heard then name "Pederast" isn't so hot.

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I remember something about Jesus going into churches and finding moneylenders exchanging money in the church. Being quite pissed about this, he went and threw them all out out their asses.

In short, Jesus was a bad-ass!

I still think it would have been funnier if he powerbombed them through their own tables, but I think that gimmick is copyrighted by professional wrestling.

What, -in 25 words or less please- is a "Christian specific atheist"?

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What, -in 25 words or less please- is a "Christian specific atheist"?

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The point is: Atheism is, by definition, the absence of belief in any form of a god. If you are a "Christian specific atheist", basically, you're just another zealot. It seems that a card-carrying atheist would just look at the whole scope of organised faith and say "bah." Not "Those damn Christians! Of all the believers in the world they are SO wrong!"

Ya know?

I like Jarmusch, too.

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I remember something about Jesus going into churches and finding moneylenders exchanging money in the church. Being quite pissed about this, he went and threw them all out out their asses.

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Oh, and it wasn't churches but the Temple.

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.......................................tell
Tell me what it is, and I'll^you if I believe it or not.

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I don't believe there's such a thing as the First Bank of Planet Mars.

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Now can anyone tell me the name of the King who, in anger at another man, slaughtered and cooked his son, then secretly served it to him for dinner, waited for him to finish it all, and THEN told him what he had just eaten?

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Christians are Pagans, I have proof.

-LV

What Does Stripcreator's Resident Fundie Have To Say About This?

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hahahahaha!

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Strip Creator bible study, now taught by Boorite...We're all going to hell, aren't we...

Boooooooooooooooring

I'm with tytekid, god sucks, and so do fags!

Fags do suck. And sometimes they lick.

mu ha ha ha ha ha ha

If the bible nots real does that mean TV is our bible?