http://www.aristotle.net/~mccauley/demon.wav

How did they get their teeth so bright after rending the other humans into bloody pulps?

I was looking for a funny toothpaste pic, but this was much better, and always in context here.

Who are the ad wizards who came up with this one?

FISTO??? That sounds like something that DrPedantic or perhaps Dr. Light would enjoy.

Give it a rest, crabby.

Here's what I want to know. See how that first picture has the words "No purchase necessary" at the start of the text? Well why the hell not? Why does every company who runs any sort of sweepstakes or prize giveaway have to say "No purchase necessary"? I mean, I'm pretty anti-capitalist and all, but even so, I think it's reasonable to expect that, if Coca-Cola Inc. pays for your tropical island vacation, you're probably someone who's had a Coke or two in your life. I mean, the whole point of the contest is to get people to buy more of whatever the product is. Why would you award the big prize to someone who'd never bought the product in their lives? I must be missing something important.

Call me crazy, but I think it's some kind of law. We need some fine legal minds like Ally McBeal to enlighten us.

Requiring purchase (consideration) makes it gambling, like a numbers racket or lottery or something. Can't do that unless you're the church or the government or similar.

I guess that makes sense. But you're still gambling the price of a postage stamp to get your "free" game piece. Where I live, a postage stamp costs about a third of the price of a bottle of Coke. I don't know how much Tater Tots cost. Or what the price of tea is in China. If you ask me, it's all a sinister plot hatched by the postal service.

Still, I don't think it should count as "gambling" if you actually get something back for your money. If me and five other people each throw ten dollars in a pot, then roll a d6, and the money goes to whoever's number comes up, that's gambling. If I wager $1.05 on a bottle of Coke, I've got 20 ounces of Coke to show for it. Two liters if there's a sale. And then, on top of what I'd normally pay, I may or may not have a prize of some sort. Sure, you might get some compulsive types who'll buy enough Coke to flood the Sahara in search of a winning gamepiece, but as long as there's any gambling at all (state lottery, Vegas casinos, etc.) these people are going to have problems, and they need some kind of professional help, regardless of who they're losing their money to.

Oh well. Not like it affects my life, anyway.

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Who are the ad wizards who came up with this one?

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This isn't quite the same thing, but somewhat along the same lines. A while back Healthy Choice had some deal in which buying their products garnered you something like 500 frequent flyer miles. Some genius bought about $6,000 worth of pudding and other items, gave it to homeless shelters as a tax write off and walked off with 1.25 million frequent flyer miles.

Read about it here

This is sort of off-topic too.

My employer gave us this to read:

I got a lot out of it:

Did you see the video that went along with that? We got to watch it at my job. It makes me want to move to Seattle so I can go watch the guys throw fish on my lunch hour.

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I mean, I'm pretty anti-capitalist and all

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I bet DrPedantic and Dr. Light would love to get their hands on those fish books!!!!!

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Still, I don't think it should count as "gambling" if you actually get something back for your money. If me and five other people each throw ten dollars in a pot, then roll a d6, and the money goes to whoever's number comes up, that's gambling. If I wager $1.05 on a bottle of Coke, I've got 20 ounces of Coke to show for it.

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I bet DrPedantic and Dr. Light would love to get their hands on those fish books!!!!!

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Did you see the video that went along with that? We got to watch it at my job.

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DrPedantic really put alot of thought into what i think might be an insult.

Fuck you.

Was that any better? That insult was only given two-thirds of a second of thought.

It certainly worked fine for me.

THAT INSULT WAS SIMPLY SPLENDID!!!!
It was also very time efficient.

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(When I called you a simpering Commie fuckbasket, I mean to put a smiley! My bad!)

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The intensely painful memory of "training" for a job a little over a year ago was enough to get me out of lurkdom. We watched that Fish! film. Apparently we were supposed to feel really inspired and psyched up by it. They even gave us these little gold pins shaped like hooks to put on our ID tags. I recall the movie only vaguely, but I think the training people would've had slightly better luck using something like that if they hadn't done their best to lull us to sleep beforehand. Realizing stuff like this is key.

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....from whence emanates an odor capable of dislodging a Diptera larva from even the rankest wagon of feces.

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Return to that festering cesspit, where indoor plumbing is as foreign a concept as self ablution? Return to the land where family trees form no forks nor branches? Return to a place where "Southern Hospitality" involves a toothless, unwashed rube attempting to recreate its most lascivious TOBOR fantasy on the nearest happless passerby?

"Fuck You."

I believe I could grow accustomed to that statement. It's short and to the point, much as I suspect Crabby's phallus to be.

My friend is visiting and look what he brought with him...

I'm glad I don't live in Japan. They don't get to see Halle Berry's breasts when they go see movies.

Whats a phallus?????

Why I rightly reckon he was sayin' that ya have a puny peepee.

Oh god... I'm beginning to nauseate myself with how easily I just typed that....

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(When I called you a simpering Commie fuckbasket, I mean to put a smiley! My bad!)

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Whats a phallus?????

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Looks like somebody never got to play with My Little Phallus when he was a wee lad.

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Come on, I was trying to set someone up for that joke. Otherwise I would have worded it differently.

I think that the NIGHT GLIDER phallus has to be destroyed before it destroys Germany which will soon be followed by the rest of the world.