I saw Mommy kissing... actually, I don't know what the hell I saw.

After they got santa drunk, the elves went on a cross-dressing lesbo fling.

... and the third ho had already found a customer.

This just arouses me beyond belief....I gotta go handle something.....

Try some kind of topical poison.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a *really* good night.

Oh honey, hand me that stack of candy canes...

--If you're a good little boy, Santa will leave you something veeery nice...

--...But if you're a bad little boy, Santa will leave you Syphillis.

- "Come over and sit on Santa's face - uh, I mean knee."

- "I am on both of Santa's lists."