Forum archives » General Discussion » I love the economy!! Yipee!!

boorite
July 6, 2001 10:40 AM

Ah, shit. Not even I can make fun of such misery.

This will make you feel better: Today, an old guy at my apartment building moved some computers into his Lincoln Continental, started it up, began to back out, and had a heart attack. He backed over a curb, across the lawn, through a sliding patio door, and into someone's living room. Then he died. At least that didn't happen to you.

Sorry to hear of your ill fortune.

Post #9263link

wirthling
July 6, 2001 10:56 AM

quote:
I couldn't even call home. My phone had been turned off as I got back to my desk.

Now that's cold.

Post #9266link

Spankling
July 6, 2001 11:00 AM

quote:
Today, an old guy at my apartment building moved some computers into his Lincoln Continental, started it up, began to back out, and had a heart attack. He backed over a curb, across the lawn, through a sliding patio door, and into someone's living room. Then he died. At least that didn't happen to you.

Sorry to hear of your ill fortune.


So who got the computers? OH... sorry about the job crap. It does pass, as I have experienced in the past, and may again some day.

Post #9270link

Jael
July 6, 2001 12:35 PM

As an evil Catbert, even I was rather apalled that they turned your phone off so fast. Normally, we at least wait till you are headed toward the door. ;)

In all seriousness though, layoffs suck. Been through them myself, just collect your unemployment (that's why we big companies pay for it in insurance...didn't ya know) and look for something better. And please don't go back and blow up your HR person, they were just following orders from the top mucky muck dog. Blow up your manager or anyone above him..like the vice president.

Take out sales and marketing while you're at it. They are always the ones paid the most for doing jack shit, next to the corporate execs.

Post #9278link

Spankling
July 6, 2001 2:08 PM

When I got dumped during thr Ray-gun downsizing of the 80s they shut off my computer accesses before I got back to my desk. But they had just asked me to document how I did my job, because no one else knew and I had VPs snarling for my output every day. I just sat there laughing at them for the rest of the day while they scrambled to set back up the patchwork of authorizations it had taken me 7 years to aquire.

Post #9280link

ladyjdotnet
July 6, 2001 4:19 PM

quote:
Ahh what a grand day. I think I want to get a job as a trucker now. But I need a good trucker CB handle. Hmmm any good ideas? (no donkey sodomy or felching references please :)


I think Antisocial Fuck would make a great CB handle.

Post #9281link

ladyjdotnet
July 6, 2001 4:20 PM

If you want to move to Nebraska, I get a $750 referral bonus if you mention my name in your cover letter or on your application to my company and get hired and work there for a few months. :)

Post #9282link

Spankling
July 6, 2001 5:55 PM

quote:
If you want to move to Nebraska, I get a $750 referral bonus if you mention my name in your cover letter or on your application to my company and get hired and work there for a few months. :)

Does he have to write in descolada99b - Antisocial Fuck ?

Post #9283link

gabe_billings
July 6, 2001 6:10 PM

They did that to my entire department around last fall. They were a little nicer and didn't can everyone immediately, but told us come May we wouldn't have jobs.

I just sat on my ass and figured something would work itself out. About a month or two later I kind of fell into a part time position in the training dept of my company and worked there long enough to make them realize they couldn't live without me.

It turned into a full time, permanent salaried position at about twice the pay, better benefits, better coworkers, better boss (and really cute to boot). My job is probably the best I've ever had.

So you never really know what's gonna happen. I'm sure if I was in your position, I'd be pissed too. But you just gotta suck it up and forge ahead. Sooner or later something good will happen and you'll look back on this and laugh.

Or else some guy will have a heart attack while driving his car and back over you and kill you.

Post #9284link

wirthling
July 6, 2001 6:16 PM

quote:
I just sat on my ass and figured something would work itself out. About a month or two later I kind of fell into a part time position in the training dept of my company and worked there long enough to make them realize they couldn't live without me.

It turned into a full time, permanent salaried position at about twice the pay, better benefits, better coworkers, better boss (and really cute to boot). My job is probably the best I've ever had.



So the moral of this story is "sit on your ass and a great job will fall on you"? See, I knew my parents were wrong about that.

Post #9286link

bunnerabb
July 6, 2001 11:46 PM

This is the sort of "Hooray for us, fuck you" corporate bullshit that leads otherwise educated people to pull up to the offices where they used to work and stand on their car roof and shoot out $74,721.00 worth of windows while playing Rage Against The Machine on the stereo at about 112 dB.

Or... uh... so I hear.

Actually, I've been self-employed most of my life, and that's one of the reasons. I don't want some jive-assed, three-martini-lunch, brother-owns-the-company cocksucker switching off my income when all of the work he didn't do lands in the company's red ink column; and he needs a few suckers to stuff into a sack so that he can keep his 560 SEL.

That, and I have a very low threshold of tolerance for stupidity mixed with baseless arrogance. I've told more than one ostensibly high-minded, big wheel corporate fuck to suck a wet fart out of my ass, and I don't regret it. I know a few people that are multi-millionaires, and some of them are even people whom I call "friend". They all have one thing in common that most corporate dumbfucks do not: They are all people I would like if they didn't have a nickel.

As far as I can see, huge corporations usually promote three things:

Greed.
Obsequiousness.
Shit products.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to be rich, just don't use people as chattel to do it. I'm not impressed by money, but I can be impressed with how it was gotten if it was done within the basic notions of conscionable behaviour. You got screwed, and it's ok to be angry.

I hope you get a new gig, but what I really hope is that you open your own place and do it your way.

Love,

bunner

"Gotta do what they told ya?"

Post #9302link

crabby
July 6, 2001 11:56 PM

Thanks to bunners wondeful speech (which by the way brought tears to my eyes) I have decided to open up my own chain of laundry mats in the greater Chicago Land area. I'm calling them Wash and Wash Millenium Washes!!! If you ever pass through the midwest just mention that you know crabby and you'll be able to wash your clothes for free, NO QUESTIONS ASKED!!!!

Post #9306link

bunnerabb
July 7, 2001 12:04 AM

quote:
Thanks to bunners wondeful speech (which by the way brought tears to my eyes) I have decided to open up my own chain of laundry mats in the greater Chicago Land area. I'm calling them Wash and Wash Millenium Washes!!! If you ever pass through the midwest just mention that you know crabby and you'll be able to wash your clothes for free, NO QUESTIONS ASKED!!!!

How much of that crack you've been smoking did you have to trade for a whole chain of laundramats, anyhoo?

Love,

bunner

Post #9308link

crabby
July 7, 2001 12:10 AM

Well I don't exactly have the laundry mats yet. For now it is a dream, but soon it will be a reality. Lets just call it a work in progress shall we.

Post #9310link

bunnerabb
July 7, 2001 12:40 AM

quote:
I've already got contacts line dup from people I knew helping me out, so it's all good. And hey, I get a 6 week paid vacation. That's not so bad really.

Thanks again for the funny stories or words of wisdom or general CSC jabber. Definitely helped out. :)



So, in other words: Shut the fuck up?

:- )

Love,

bunner

Post #9314link

bunnerabb
July 7, 2001 1:41 AM

25281

Post #9315link

wirthling
July 7, 2001 2:00 AM

quote:
CAN YOU WASH AND WASH? NO DRYERS HERE! JUST WASHERS!! WE WASH AND WASH!!

HAAAAA HAAAAA HAAAAA!

Ouch. I hurt myself.

Post #9316link

gabe_billings
July 7, 2001 6:01 AM

25295

Post #9317link

crabby
July 7, 2001 10:11 AM

Soon all this wash and wash humor will be a reality. Soon......
Those wash and wash comics were easily some of the funniest stuff I've ever read.

Post #9322link

evil_d
July 7, 2001 11:23 AM

25340

Post #9323link

Haights
July 7, 2001 4:54 PM

quote:
I have decided to open up my own chain of laundry mats in the greater Chicago Land area

Can you sign me up for one of those? There's no carpet in my utility room and my feet get really cold when I'm doing the wash.

Post #9332link

crabby
July 7, 2001 4:59 PM

Can do my friend. WASH AND WASH MILLENIUM WASHES watches out for one of their own.

Post #9334link

kaufman
July 8, 2001 6:09 PM

25624

Post #9368link

Jael
July 9, 2001 7:14 AM

oh hell...I'm dying here lol lol. If it weren't for crabby and his either a) wide eyed ingenue status or b) the fact that we all pick on him like the kids on the short bus.....I wouldn't be back here.

Post #9381link

boorite
July 9, 2001 9:10 AM

25753

Post #9391link

boorite
July 9, 2001 12:44 PM

quote:
I have decided to open up my own chain of laundry mats in the greater Chicago Land area. I'm calling them Wash and Wash Millenium Washes!!!

Jeez, I've heard of dummy corporations, but this...

Post #9412link

crabby
July 9, 2001 3:32 PM

quote:
oh hell...I'm dying here lol lol. If it weren't for crabby and his either a) wide eyed ingenue status or b) the fact that we all pick on him like the kids on the short bus.....I wouldn't be back here.
Hey thanks pal, I'm glad I'm I could brighten up your day. I want you to be the first ever customer at WASH AND WASH MILLENIUM WASH!!!!!

Post #9419link

Jael
July 9, 2001 6:01 PM

quote:
quote:
oh hell...I'm dying here lol lol. If it weren't for crabby and his either a) wide eyed ingenue status or b) the fact that we all pick on him like the kids on the short bus.....I wouldn't be back here.
Hey thanks pal, I'm glad I'm I could brighten up your day. I want you to be the first ever customer at WASH AND WASH MILLENIUM WASH!!!!!

Looks furtively at gabe, dexx, ladyj, boo, and wirthling...then spews diet coke all over the monitor in an eruption of madcap laughter and hilarity.

Thanks Crabby....but you have to promise me one thing..you have to yell at me in all caps when I come in. I like to be abused like that.

Post #9424link

crabby
July 9, 2001 9:53 PM

SCREW YOU BASTARD!!!!!!! I GAVE UP THAT ALL CAPS BIT A LONG LONG TIME AGO!!!!!! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST GET OVER IT AND MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE!!!!!!!!!

Post #9431link

crabby
July 9, 2001 10:28 PM

Man guys I, made a 100 posts. I bet none of you thought I would be around this long.

Post #9435link

ladyjdotnet
July 10, 2001 12:20 AM

No, I thought no self-respecting human being would stay around so long where people thought so little of him.

I had no doubts at all about you staying.

Post #9436link

crabby
July 10, 2001 12:26 AM

quote:
No, I thought no self-respecting human being would stay around so long where people thought so little of him.

I had no doubts at all about you staying.


You know the way you guys try to be so mean and sarcastic all the time I can hardly tell whats an insult anymore.

Post #9437link

BigEvilDan
July 10, 2001 5:10 AM

quote:
You know the way you guys try to be so mean and sarcastic all the time I can hardly tell whats an insult anymore.

Here's a tip: if they're talking to you, it's probably an insult.

Post #9443link

Jael
July 10, 2001 8:18 AM

lol

Post #9450link

Spankling
July 10, 2001 8:22 AM

quote:
quote:
You know the way you guys try to be so mean and sarcastic all the time I can hardly tell whats an insult anymore.
Here's a tip: if they're talking to you, it's probably an insult.
Don't take it too hard, crabs. You remind me of my old grandad. Of course, we finally got sick of his tripe and stuffed a pillow over his face until he stopped fighting.

Post #9451link

crabby
July 10, 2001 3:55 PM

All the taunts just make me feel like I belong. It's just like my real family except with comics.

Post #9475link

ladyjdotnet
July 10, 2001 4:49 PM

quote:
All the taunts just make me feel like I belong. It's just like my real family except with comics.

Belong where?

Post #9485link

crabby
July 10, 2001 5:02 PM

I'm not really sure to tell the truth.

Post #9486link

gabe_billings
July 10, 2001 7:22 PM

You're like the little brother I never had and didn't want.

Post #9489link

crabby
July 10, 2001 7:36 PM

You have no idea how much that means to me.

Post #9493link

DexX
July 11, 2001 11:01 AM

I wish I could meet crabby in person so I could teach him to play that great old Australian drinking game, Mister Spacklehead. For those not familiar with it, it is very similar to that party game where you roll the coin over someone's face to analyse their aura, or the one where you stick a coin to their forehead and see how many times they have to hit themselves on the back of the head before it falls off - a higher number of hits indicates a higher IQ.

Post #9548link

DexX
July 14, 2001 9:36 AM

quote:
Okay, I'll shut up now. I'm baaaack!!!
DexX gives Desco a warm, brotherly hug.

*sob* Missed ya, mate. *sniff*

Post #9908link

DexX
July 14, 2001 10:29 AM

quote:
Get off me!! I DO NOT SUCK COCK!!
You don't???

*walks off in a huff*

Prick-tease!

Post #9921link

gabe_billings
July 14, 2001 6:42 PM

Make sure that when DexX hugs you he doesn't grab your ass.

Post #9942link

Spankling
July 14, 2001 9:17 PM

quote:
I want to thank whoever told a friend that I was looking for work...
Did shranac get in touch? He introduced me to CSC - so yell at him. And he works more with computers. I just hose around with them. I figured he knows a lot of people. Whether they're hiring is another story these days.

Best of luck!

Post #9946link

gabe_billings
July 15, 2001 6:07 AM

Every Dark Cloud Has A Silver Lining, But Lightning Kills Hundreds Of People Each Year Who Are Trying To Find It

Post #9954link

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