"911? Yeah, this is Frank Johnson. I froze to it. Again."

I really can't understand why Pamela Anderson left him.

Honey? Come on back home! I can't find my beer!

In this month's issue of Better Trailer Homes and Gardens: Function and Style? You Can Do it!

"So mah wife says: 'Whah don't you fertilise them flowers out in front o' the trailer?' HAW! Lemme tell ya, Bubba... ah'm pretty sure we can just play poker and drink fir pert near the whole week without her a-bitchin' at us."

You heard me. I said buy IBM put options at 80 on the margin. Do it or I'll get myself a broker who understand the CAPM model and hedge spreads, you simpleton.

"Hello, yes, may I have some toilet paper delivered?"

Earl discovers post-modernism.