All comics by 011cahleb1

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by 011cahleb1
12-23-04
A Right Donkey
Hmm.In Darkest Political Exile..And For What? Fast Tracking Nanny's Visa Application..
In Deep Political *hite
Out In The Wilderness..And What's A Right Thinking Donkey To Do?
Salvation Via Real Lies Packaging Company
..Maybe Lay Low Hibernate Low Profile on Backbenches For While..Hmm. Then Phone The Prince Of Lies ( Sorry. PM King Of Spin..) Negotiate My Political Return..
It's Alright. We 've Done A Kofi On You, With This Thought Phone.This Tricky Wicket Situation is In The Hands Of Our Best FabricationSpinners..PM's handling It Himself..

 

by 011cahleb1
12-23-04
Prime Minister Blair Appearing on The Weakest Link
''Tony. What's The political Definition of Integrity?
''Ummm..''
Trust A Lawyer Conducting Rather Mental Gymnastics With The Ambiguity of Words..
''Tell Me. When Did You Go To School? Did You Stand In The Corner With A Dunces Cap On Your Head For The Whole Of Your School Life''
''...Hmm. Integrity. That's a Question I find Easy To Answer..You See It's Rather Like The Question Of Whether We Doctored That Intelligence Report. Boo. Boo.Ra. Fiddlesticks..I'll Say It Again.
And Next Week I'm Chairing A Parliamentary Debate On Ministerial Accountability
Tony. Obviously You're Talking Complete *ollocks Once Again. You Are The Weakest Link.So Long. Goodbye, You Twat..''
Naturally, I find It Rather Unfair. I thought That Question Was Rather Tricky To Answer..Despite This I Shall Just Click My Heels Three Times..There's No Place Like Home.There's No Place Like Home.

 

by 011cahleb1
12-23-04
Socratic Fairy Sunset
Moogish Dreams..& After Thoughts..
'' Would You See Your Way Forward..To Granting Me Three Wishes?..
Existential Angst
If You'll Kiss Me Thrice..I'll Grant You Three Gladly..''
Hmm.I'll Have To Think of Some Tremendous Wishes ..
This Is Gonna Be Some Party...
**Get On With It Then. I Ain't Got All Day..Places To Be..''
I'll Just Close My Eyes And Think Of...How Completely Bossy You Are..

 

by 011cahleb1
12-24-04
Tony Blair's Winter Wonderland
There's someone in dire need. I'll Grant him three wishes..
The Great Transformation..
Take that! A Unilaterally Imposition by a mere tiny fairy..Henceforth..You shall be transformed into a fanatical political leader, who drives a coach & horses through existing civil liberties...
Politically Disenchanted..
..Hey.That's a particularly duplicitous fairy party trick..Your Magic Sucks..I don't feel any different than before..

 

by 011cahleb1
12-24-04
Historical Legislative Monsters..
..The difficulty is..How does one address...this latest criticism??
''Blair Has The Worst Voting Record of Any Modern PM''
Prince of Strategy...
..Hmm.Direct Public Attention Elsewhere..I'd rather (A) Make An Immediate Call For A Distinctly Alternative Investigation Into Cattle Rustling...(B) Announce another new game..
Modern Political Thought..
Follow My Leader - Bush-Baby....Or (C)Construct yet another Daft package of meaningless legislation...

 

by 011cahleb1
7-04-05
The Prodigal Blunkett Donkey Returns..
I'm back and it's no thanks to Nanny..
Waiting in the Wings..
A Newer Punk Blunkett Donkey
A bit like the proverbial Phoenix..I rise from the ashes retaking my position on the Political Podium..Strategically Reinvented..Genetically Improved..
In Full Punk Swing..
Perfect Day..
..Lordy,Lordy . And they thought it was only 70's Bionic Men clad only in tight underwear that could wriggle out of tight spots..I shall of course don my role with aplomb Iago PM New Labour New Lies..
I'll tie this to his political tail..

 

by 011cahleb1
7-04-05
David Davies MP Wanders In..
I'm in the Race to the Top..To The Top.
New All Blinking DD MP
ERrumph!
Follow Me Mr.Davies..
Before the Race..
I'm coming at ya Tarzan..Lemme At Yer..
Cripes..What next?

 

by 011cahleb1
7-04-05
Somewhere in an enclave in Kaliningrad..
Le only thing they have ever done for European Agriculture is mad cow disease..They 'ave the worse cuisine of the whole wide world!''..
So Mr President would you agree with the suggestion, made by the British PM Tony Blair, that you are presently engaged in ''intense discussion'' over Europe?
Chirac Says, ''Arse'' to It
Arse, to 'is European Budget Proposal! Arse!
O Heck..I wish some people would compose themselves..This is a live broadcast
Whippy Top
Be ready for some serious discussion..I need a whipping boy..
I guess we'll all look forward to Gleneagles then, shall we?

 

by 011cahleb1
7-10-05
In the Arrivals Lounge..
I have given up trying to recognise you in the surging wave of the next moment..
A Profound Poet on Form..
..All the immense images in me, the far off deeply felt..
You who never arrived..
..You beloved who are all the gardens I ever gazed at..And how am I going to recognize you if...you bear no resemblance to your online profile..

 

by 011cahleb1
7-10-05
The Burden of Public Office
By Day..The PM of Great Britain in my Wendy Wendy House..
As if by Magic..
Then Along Comes Charlie Charlie with a tinkle of fairy dust..
A Storm Trooper ..
And I'm jetting out across the Great Universal..
This is F***ing G8 Calling..G8 Calling..Come in Tony..

 

by 011cahleb1
7-10-05
Meditative Teachings..
If you listen in the silent heart of your soul..you can hear..
..At the Happy Campers Hotel
the long echo of your former self lingering in universal halls
Existential Consequences!!
And this is my Karmic Exit..

 

by 011cahleb1
7-10-05
Grand Mouse Professor of Teats & Co
I always pride myself on flair that faithful companion.. slinky figure, pert butt..
unsubtle, vacuous nature?
Punky Mice
Tuck in thy loose wrathful tongue, Azzizzi!
..Over Theatrical, Pompous Duplicitous Punk..
Emerging From The Cheese Corner School of Law..
..You think I'm right for the Iago role then?
Yep!

 

by 011cahleb1
7-11-05
Dilemma..
He troubles my dreams..
..Of Weary Faith
..but I'd like to kick his arse. Sod it all..

 

by 011cahleb1
7-11-05
Sadistic Visualisation Class..
..Jab him swiftly in the jap hole& send him spinning into space..
A NeoSadist is born..
..Stick it on my 'To do..' List..

 

On A Cold Grimly Fiendish Day at Batley
It took my eyyyes witth itt's ellongated toenailllss..
by 011cahleb1, 7-11-05

 

Prime Ministerial Statements From Gleneagles..
..our determination to defend our values and our way of life is greater than their determination to cause death and destruction to innocent people in a desire to impose extremism on the world..
by 011cahleb1, 7-12-05

 

If You Go Down To The Woods Today..
Are those for moi? what a treat..
Only if you promise to stop ..
by 011cahleb1, 7-12-05

 

by 011cahleb1
7-12-05
Gerry Adams Reporting..
..There is justifiable anger here at Belfasts Crumlin Road..
Crowd Control..
Thousands of Roman Catholic Boys have rioted here today..Police resorted to firing rubber bullets & spraying the crowd with water cannons
Waxing Lyrical to International Media..
A lot of People are very, very angry..
What the b' Jesus is 't all about then?

 

by 011cahleb1
7-12-05
How the situation arose continued..
..I'm coming to that..I'm coming to that next..
Weeell?
Thousands of Roman Catholic Boys Get Wet..
It was owing 't the fact tha' the Filthy English Devils Sprayed Me With Water on the Pride Parade, Wasn't it so?
Wweeell, tha's not a lot more to say about that..

 

When Matter & Anti-Matter Meet..
Our Two Halve - Splitters Should Never Be in the same place at the same time.Remember the first rule..
May we live in interesting times O 2Blairite Lord of Unrule..
by 011cahleb1, 7-12-05

 

by 011cahleb1
7-13-05
Blonde Peril Walks Out
sister's friend is very strange..
Her name is 'The Owner'..
So many possibilities??? The Owner of What??
No I don't think you get it Blonde Peril..

 

...
Whatever do you mean??
It's FEEEONA you deaf chinstrap !!!
by 011cahleb1, 7-13-05

 

by 011cahleb1
7-13-05
Lesson one..
..nail of newt, pigeon tongue, cacca of weasel, this spell be one..
Duh!
Pack it in My HagBag To Go..
What's happened??

 

Blessed Be..
???
I did the Multi-Coloured Snatch Spell By Mistake..
by 011cahleb1, 7-13-05

 

by 011cahleb1
7-13-05
''Is he Bad to the Bone?? Baad to the Bone?''
''The threat from Saddam Hussein & his weapons of mass destruction was very very real..Everyone now accepts that & the international Community had to act to enforce our will..''
Can you define 'Tyranny' Mr Blair?
I can only go one way. I've not got a reverse gear..''
..
Another ''Morally Dubious'' Representation
..Well only if I can meet one of those lovely lollipop fillies up at the Spearmint Rhino.
.They don't pay me nearly enough..

 

by 011cahleb1
7-14-05
You dirty ass horse hackerrr, you can't go round ass hacking..
Outta the way you Chicckkeeen Asss..

 

Baron Blunketts's AssRocket Surprise..
PM said he'd truss me up to a rockey like a right blinking asss chicken if ..
..shackles & arrsee magneeets ready..
by 011cahleb1, 11-02-05

 

JJUSST WHADDYA TRYING TO PROOOVE HEERE BUSH DAWG??
THHHEEERES NO NNEGOTIATING WITH DIRTY FUZZBUCKET FUZZBALL TITTY TERRORISTS...
by 011cahleb1, 11-02-05

 

by 011cahleb1
11-03-05
BUSHDAWG TALES..
..How to Deal with Fundamentalist Titty Muslims in 2 easy steps.........
Hey check it out its the green goblin...
..(1) A shoot em up the ass wi radioactive bacon bombs..
Nooo! Greeen Gobblie, NNoo!

 

''I Call Upon You To Declare Your Interests, O Planted One..''
by 011cahleb1, 3-22-06

 

Climb On Into My Pocket Babe..
''Oo Kiss Me Baby, I'm Yours! ...''
by 011cahleb1, 3-22-06

 

by 011cahleb1
3-22-06
'' You Said You Understood My Neeeds, You Avian Monster!..''
'' You And Me, Ain't Frieends, Noo More Fucker..''

 

Honestly, having sex with it was like being defiled & crawled over by a thousand snails...
by 011cahleb1, 4-28-06

 

...Make him run like a dirty rabbit on fire, then whip him like a dawg, Mr President !
by 011cahleb1, 10-08-06

 

ZZZZzzis a fucking boring ole life for beezz
by 011cahleb1, 10-08-06

 

by 011cahleb1
3-10-07
EtheralSac swings..
N..eeeh onto thingz that make ur tinglyball sac swing..Wass da most romantic movie you eva sin??
..Guuss it'd have t' be...'Zulu' Yus, Zulu, Sac!
F'Kin Zulu??Zulu? How da Fck, W'DFck iss Sa romantic about G'Damn stinky Zulu??

 

by 011cahleb1
3-10-07
I never felt so embarassed since time ma pappy become hopelessly legless intoxicated n threatened to pop one up that Boy Georges wobble box!!
I am, only delivering ma'am, I'm just an elf passing on ma way through.
Jes reminincing wija. Anyway, ma pappy n me, w cool now. Twas all on account he tho' Boy George was jes an ugly girl anyway.I figure he can be excused..

 

Extinctus Dodo..
My political career is far from over, PM bunny will be numero uno in historiche. And as for Gordie. Gordie, Gordie Brown..I shall have thee licking the rim 'o the slop bucket yet!
by 011cahleb1, 3-10-07

 

Mazz I Offer Da Grun Fishee for Da In Flight Munch?
by 011cahleb1, 3-10-07

 

by 011cahleb1
3-14-07
Overworked...
By whiskery, i sure feel like a holiday to da USA..butt my.. bungoflappitus..
FTSE dealings..
There's my previous antecedents to consider..
...
..Of course..I could always try a little fiddly pokery.Quickest exit from UK to US nowdays. Travel 1st Class Extradition Warrant. I'll slap my best ringpiece into some national security database..
If that fails...Try pulling a Conrad Black..

 

Trained n Clueless..
I will single andeddely fund da clues..hhherm.Dis is da police.Put yer ands wer I can see dem.Remove dem fingers mediately. So I can stiff mine up yer giant orifaces..
by 011cahleb1, 3-14-07

 

by 011cahleb1
3-14-07
So..I was getting heavily into it. There was a lot of foreplay..
..Then I saw my boyfriend raising his hand..
..Did he say anything ma'am?
Yes he did.He said, 'Pleasse, the neighbours!'
And that was when his cockeye became entangled with your funky cats cradle artwork...

 

by 011cahleb1
6-24-07
I just find the whole issue spooky..
In what sense..
Well..why Fiona wants a divorce! Its so sudden..
C'mon..You Whacked off with a pair of freaking spoons sunday afternoon on the lawn...Who are you kidding?

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