All comics by 80_Million_Fleas

Profile

 

And now, for something compeletly different!
So, LeBron... It sucks playing for the Cavs, eh?
Yuh. But I look at da bright side, dawg. I got's 90 millyun dollahz.
Meanwhile, In Asia...
Me so sorry! I go work on shoo, mizzer!
You better get to work on that LeBron Shox shoes, princess! If you don't, you won't get your 13 cents for today!
A month or so later in America.
See ya got the new LaBron Shox. How did you manage to do that? Did you actually get a job?
Naw, man. I just threaten to tell welfare on my Mom. That bitch gave up the money then!

 
I didn't do it.

 

Around August of last year..
George Bush, aka the Big Dubya here tell you that we are going to war with Iraq because of the WMDs!
During the costly 'war'...
This is Tommy Franks here saying that we still haven't found the WMDs, but we are still looking for them!
Later..
George Again.. and we think we finally found a WMD here in Iraq!!
No, you moronic Douche! That's a Israeli missle that missed the West Bank!

 

I'm on that like a Chinese Toddler on a Nike!
I'm on that like a Catholic priest on a little boy!
I'm on that like a cop beating up on a minority!
I'm on that like Jeffery Dommer on a dead human buffet.
I'm on that like meat on the living.
Oh.. You Know what I'm on! Hehehehehe...

 

An unexpected return
Hello! This is me, 80MF. I've been gone for about a year, but that's ok. I'm back to being moronic and down right pathetic in my lame attempts at being funny!
Oh, great.
Hey! What's that supposed to mean?
It means you suck and I hope you die.
Sometime later...
You know.. It's getting a little.. Oh My GOD! Hell is freezing over!
You see.. I told ya that one day it would happen!

 

Friday June 26, in Iraq ---
Ya got some shit planned for the 30th?
Eh, Nothing major. I'm gonna let someone else do it for a change.
I know what you mean. Besides, everything is starting to feel so pointless.
I agree. Maybe to get our ideology across, we should work through the new democratic system rather than resort to the usual barbaric violence.
Monday June 28, in Iraq
Did you hear what those Americans did?!
I know! Pick up youre RPG, it's time to go infidel hunting.

 

Hello, I'm Hector Vector Victor Hictor and this is J-Metro's Channel 3 Action News!
Tonight's Top Story: A giantic dradle created by the Evil Rabbi Dudowsky is spinning out of control, destorying all the building in the commerical district.
... I kid you not folks. I'm serious as a heart attack.
You shall die for that horrible pun!

 

Damnit! I'm tired of all this obscurist humor that's taking over stripcreator.com!
...

 

Look at all those mindless, pathedic people, walking around without knowing that they're all just following the whems of some objective reality that their primative minds can't even begin to grasp.
Dude, what the hell are you talking about?!
Society, you nimrod! We're all just muppets to the primative order known as society! ...Yet they're all too stupid to give up on their false consciousness.
What the... Are you some kind of Goth?!
No. I'm a Sociologist.
Right... I'll be over here... with the normal people.

 

My bills are out of control, my insurance has quadrupled since the wreck, my girlfriend broke up with me, my mom died and I'm out of Twinkies.
Hmmm.... What would Jesus do?
Yo. I'm your Christ. Word.
Hi! Can I help you?
Yeah.. I'd like to purchase this hammer and nails along with a couple of two-by-fours I want loaded the back of my truck... ... Word.

 

Gee, why can't they invent something like that?!
Meanwhile, on TV...
What the hell is it? Should I run?
Nah.. You'll wanna stay, trust me...
Mom was right. I should have stayed in College.

 

Howdy! ..and welcome to hell!
Oh, Satan! I have worshipped you for so long, carried out your activities, I've even raped Japanese school girls, at your preache's request. What gifts await me in your after life?
How about some... fire and brimstone?!
..What?! Satan! I've been you're loyal follower since Middle School and until I died at age 67! Don't you have something for your loyal followers?! (...and why is my drink cold coffee?)
....We have the Essentual Elevator Music Collection! Oh Oh! We also get the commercial channel in clear as a bell! On Saturdays, "Adolf Hitler and the Youth" does pop-punk covers of Journey's Hits!
You know... I think I'll go see what ol' Jeffery Dommer is up to...

 

by 80_Million_Fleas
10-26-04
Blah Blah Blah, Terrorists.
Blah blah blah, Unemployment.
I think it's called one of those 'eg-zagerations'.
Dick Chaney's lesbian daughter.
Blah Blah Blah, Same Sex Marrage. Blah Blah Blah, Medical Plan.
Must... Stop... Insanity... Noise, go.. away... Nov. 2nd too far.... away!

 

by 80_Million_Fleas
10-26-04
1978-1980s
Cause I... want to beeeeee ANARCHY!!
Preach it! I'm tired of government fucking with us!!
1990s
Do you have the time? To listen to me whine...
Not Bad, Greenday, Not Bad... Have you seen my heroine, Courtney?
2000s
19... 19... 1985!
... I wonder if you can surgically remove someone's ear drums.

 

by 80_Million_Fleas
10-26-04
...Other than Theological views, can anyone here tell me why we should banned same sex couples from getting married?
...
...
...
....
Jesus says it's a sin!

 

by 80_Million_Fleas
10-26-04
Maaa! Why do I have to visit Grampa in the old folks home?! He smells like moth balls!
Because hun, I don't want too but I'd feel guilty if someone didn't go visit him on his 22th birthday..
H..Hey Grampa.
What..?! Slow down, boy! I'm only 9600 bps!
Dear God! He doesn't even have a mouse!
I miss my sweet little Apple ][e. Sexy li'l byte, she was... Two 5 1/2 in floppies..

 

by 80_Million_Fleas
10-26-04
Really... I'm just a janitor. I don't think you want me for this job.
Trust me! You're fine! ...You're still willing to do any for 18 bucks and a Thickburger from Hardees, right?
Ha ha! I have collected all the Arrows of Obscurity and now I will us it to defeat you, the Demon of the River-Forest!
Not so fast, young Daisetsu! I and only I still wield the Sword of Forever(tm), with which I will stab you until your eyes fall out of your skull.. BRaaaaaa!!!
Anime Voice Actor/Janitor
I think my Daisetsu was a little off... and thanks for this Thickburger!
It doesn't matter. Those Otakus eat up anything they can get their hands on... and you're welcome.

 

by 80_Million_Fleas
10-26-04
Meanwhile, in a posh NYC office...
Boss! I got it!
Yeah... What is it this time?
Check this new slogan me and the boys have been working on... "Veal: Tortured Baby Cows That Taste Okay."
...
...Boss?
Your biggest retard ever to be hired onto this company. Even Retarded Mike that works in the mail room has more sense than that. You sir, are fired.

 

by 80_Million_Fleas
10-27-04
The Nintendo DS: Our best gimmick since the VR... Unless you count all those OTHER gimmicks, like ROB or that silly Gameboy Pocket.
Seriously.. That ROB robot was only good for "Giant ROB Vs. GI Joes."
Did I mention the Powerglove and Running pad was also gimmick-y?
TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE TV

 

by 80_Million_Fleas
10-27-04
Meanwhile, in some government building...
Nonono!!! Don't press that big red button!!!
You mean this one?!
Later...
Maybe I should go back to Mars...
Look on the bright side... You get to repopulate the Earth with me!

 

by 80_Million_Fleas
10-27-04
Conversation.
Question?
Answer.
Expletive!
Witty Remark...
Punchline.

 

by 80_Million_Fleas
10-29-04
Aww! You got me.. erm.. Bloody Body parts.
The Perfect gift, I know!
Just before...
You... Haven't be telling anyone about are little "pray sessions" have you?
Uhh....
Just after...
...Are you sure you know what you're doing?
Don't worry. I'll get rid of the evidence.

 

by 80_Million_Fleas
10-29-04
.egelloC ni deyats evah dlouhs I .thgir saw moM
...em tsurt yats annaw ll'uoY ..haN
?nur I dluohS ?ti si lleh eht tahW
!?taht ekil gnihtemos tnevni yeht t'nac yhw ,eeG

 

by 80_Million_Fleas
10-29-04
...
...
...

 

by 80_Million_Fleas
10-29-04
...
*blink*
Ha!
DAMN IT!
Oh yeah, that's gotta hurt!

 

by 80_Million_Fleas
10-29-04
... And it looks like Walter wins the International Stare Down! How did you do it?
It's simple Dwayne! It was all a matter of outsmarting that The Chair.
You mean you had to convense an inanimate object with no eyes to blink?
Yes.
Later...
Ha! I always knew you was a loser!
Me the loser?! I'm not the one that convensed someone to Sodomized themself with a white Bishop!

 

by 80_Million_Fleas
11-02-04
Hey! You wanna over to your grampa's and piss him off?
Nah, I'm grounded. My mom was found out that I was just sticking all those virus upgrades she's been giving me under my tounge. You're more then welcome to piss'em off though!
Later...
...
...
... Doom 3.

 

by 80_Million_Fleas
11-02-04
Hi! I'm an incredibly hot guy you've probably seen in movies.
Same here, what a small world.
We're here to remind to vote today! (Which I was told was Nov. the 2nd). We've had no formal education past highschool but we think we have some clot because we're in movies and we're good looking.
Yeah... so vote against big bussiness and Republicans! Even though the only reason we have any money is because of big bussiness and capitalism... but my agent says Democrats are hip!
...This is why I moved to France.
This is why I killed myself.

 

by 80_Million_Fleas
11-02-04
Late '40s: The National of Israel is Created
... and put a nice Star of David on the Flag!
Who is this asshole that has taken over my country without at least an opinion from me?
The Cold War Era: America Builds Tons of Bases
... and put that missile silo over there!
Who is this asshole that is putting bases on Holy Land?
Iraq: Present
You know, I really don't trust these assholes in our country.
I heard they was putting in a McDonald's.

 

by 80_Million_Fleas
11-04-04
It was a time of Giving and a time of Greed...
Hey! ANOTHER Check from the Welfare? Awesome!
I used to live in the ghetto, but now I got mo' money! (Which I don't invest in the ghetto to try an inact change.)
It was a time of Knowledge and a time of Ignorance...
Wow.... McWorld vs. Jihad. That's a pretty scary future.
Bah! j00 r soooo pwn3d!!!11shiftoneshiftone
It was a time of Great Contradictions...
Coming up next, Black people fight on for equality on into the 21st century... Only on the Black Channel, programming meant only for Black People.
I understand the princibles behind the "Three of the Book" in the Koran. I also understand that you was just on a mission from the Red Cross to help me people out, but we're going to kill you anyway!

 

by 80_Million_Fleas
11-05-04
Hello! It's been a little while after the elections and ask you can tell, lefters are pissed.
TOBOR cannot cornhole with an official husband...
Why? I dunno. It was their leftist media that told everyone to get out and vote... and they did.. and democracy worked.
Get out and vote this Nov. 2nd... and make sure it's for Kerry! You love Kerry.. You.. Love.. Kerry.. *hypnotis*
Even Kerry here consided and recognized the win... I don't like Bush and in all honestly, I don't like Kerry either. ...but just shut the fuck up about the Republican's win, alright?
You voted, he lost... He couldn't pull in the undecided votes because he was talking out of both sides of his ass.. So get over yourself! Goddamnit! Just Goddamnit!

 

by 80_Million_Fleas
11-06-04
I M GOIN 2 RAPP U!!!111
Oh no!
Tune in next week when...
...and then I realized that if I wanted to save the future of English as we knew it... then I would have to destroy the Internet!
...You destroyed the Internet, but didn't dismantle the urban subculture?

 

by 80_Million_Fleas
11-06-04
...The war in Iraq was at the wrong place, at the wrong time.. and with no REAL allies either! Poland? C'mon people!
Sen. Kerry.. Says here that you voted FOR the us to attack Iraq unilaterally.
Umm.. How about that economy eh? In the crapper, I say! We're losing jobs left and right.
Kerry... While it's true we lost jobs since 9-11, as of 2003 we've had a steady job growth.
.... I support abortion! Kill all babies!
...You're so screwed.

 

by 80_Million_Fleas
11-10-04
After hear some noise in in his backyard, Duke investigates...
What's going on out here? ...and what the hell is the construction crew doing?!
We're building a house in your backyard...
..Why are you building a house in MY backyard?
Well, you see.. I used to live in a city across the state, but we got this asshole of a mayor that bulldozed all our houses and killed our pets.
... That's sad. I'd never live THERE again.
I know, that's why everyone from my town is moving into your town... and subsequentually into people's yards.

 

by 80_Million_Fleas
11-10-04
...but I own the backyard. That's where I put my Slip-N'-Slide.
Not anymore! The state says I get to live your backyard.
Why?!
My Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Greatparents founded this city.
... but my family has lived in this town since the 1900's... and we didn't live.
...But the state likes my family more then your family!

 

DId you hear about the 'gay bomb' the US government was working on?
Yeah... It just goes to show ya that homosexuality is a illness that's destroying our society!
Wow. You sound crabby.
If it is something as small as chemicals controlling wrongful needs, then it is obviously a problem that needs to be controlled!
... Did you take your happy pills today?
You know... Come to think of it, I don't know.

 

Hi! I'm Hiktor Viktor Hector Vector...
...and I'm Melissa Bleedenbottom-Padd and you're watching J-Metro Action 4 News!
Tonight's Top Story. Insurgency continues in Iraq.
So then I tell the guy, "Sunni? You must be Shi'ite-ing me!'
Wahaha! That was a good one... Say, did you just hear a bomb go off?
... But first! Hollywood star Sven N. Out is to star in a new action movie! More details after this commerial break!

 

... and we're back! Hollywood star Sven N. Out stars in a new action movie "Clone". Here's a clip!
GET OFF OF MY .. Old Navy denim jacket! Just 17.50 at most stores!
GO AHEAD. MAKE MAY .. Egg Mcmuffin! Buy 1, get one free! For a limited time only.
It's sure to be a hoot! Go see it a Big Thyme Movie CinniPlex for only $5.99. Stay tuned, we have more coming up!
..What the hell is going on?!

 

...and we're back! Doesn't that commericial make you wanna buy soap? Now we go live to Clint Pokewifcigar! Clint?
...
Thank you Hiktor! I'm standing beside basketball superstar Lemmie Dunkz. Lemmie, how do you feel about tonight's big game?
I'm sure it's goin' be one hellauva battle, Clint. Ya'll should come down and see it. Tickets just $50 for a decent seat. Also, buy the new Lemmie Shox! Dunk better wifa LS on yo feet!
Ahh. Interesting... I've been wearing the new LS and the ladies HAVE been all up ons! After this commerical, it's the DS vs. The N-Gage QD!
... Angrier by the second...

 

We're back! That at-home lobotomy kit sure looks nice. Time to check in with out local gamers, Pixel Romm and Raster Trackball. Guys?
Uuuuugggh.
Thanks, Hik! As you can see, the QD is totally superior to the DS in every way, shape or form.
Oh ya. Game of the week is THUG 2... with even more corporate spounsorship than THUG 1! Also, don't forget to check out the Spike TV's Video Game Awards!
Thanks guys! I'll be tuning in! After this commerical, the weather! Will it be warm enough to go shopping? Find out!
ALRIGHT! THAT DOES IT!!!

 

I've had it up to here with this whole goddamn parade! What the hell has happened to our news program? To America?!
We're promoting a lackluster, cliche movie full of product placement and bad acting...
...Peddling shitty tickets to an equally shitty game to watch someone that should be in jail for charging up into the stands and starting a fight! Not to mention that his shoes are made by Asian Tots.
And we're giving biased reviews on products and shows your couldn't force me to watch! ...and we've ignored the must important fact of the news... reporting relevant news and not sensationalism!
I like a little captialism, but damn! This is just too much! I quit!!!
Up next on J-Metro News: Newstation seeks to hire illegal immigrant worker! Must speak English and work at 1/3 the pay. Details after this commerical break!

 

The Lowest Common Comedic Ploy is the lowest point one will stoop to get a laugh.
Excuse me, ma'am. Do you have the time?
yes!!!1unouno its tim 4 u 2 suk mi dik111thenumberone
Let me get this straight... You're God?
yes iam alos gay gat ppl r funy theyrb bad kill al teh gay ppl irote abot itin my bok evar red teh bibal i rote tht im so awezom i carped mi pants
I have no dignity.
u no i rotabot bad ppl lik u n my bok i caled it teh bibal u evar red teh bibal itz god becase i rote it stfu 7 haev gat sex wif mi i hat gays i carped mi pants

 

Wow. Says here that Bush is considering some sort of covert war in Iran.... I have to turn this into a strip!
You know, I hear they're going to attack Iran.
Woah woah woah... Back up. Iran is a past tense verb AND a proper noun. ...Are you gonna eat that?
Wow... That sucked a lot of ass. I wonder it I have enough money to buy the ablity to delete?
Have you seen my "Cunt to Sockpuppet" dictionary?

 

If a certain commerical was extended...
You're watching Celebrity Slimdown on VH1!
That's right. Let's keep reinforcing the thought in our children's minds that you have to be skinny to be beautiful. *click*
You're now watching TLC. Now, Interior Decoration. Later, even MORE Interior Decoration. At 9: Interior Decoration for Puppies!
Wow. Watch some upity chick and some bald guy with a lisp work turn one house from yester-year bland to contemporary fugly. *click*
o/' It's that time for the Wangs! o/' Only on NBC!
o/` She's a single mother in a rehashed concept with unfunny jokes that dates to '63. Comedy changes but it never does on unorginal channels like NBC! o/` *click*

 

If a certain commerical was extended... Part 2.
You're now watching the Discovery Channel.
Lessie.. Is it MythBusters? No.. Just more crap about Motorcycles. *click*
You're watching CBS. Up next watch the CSI: Las Vegas crew go into the creepy world of 'Juggalos'. But first watch CSI: Kyoto, then CSI: Strongbadia.
[(Good writing - Bad Acting)^Furries + 2(Okay Acting / Sub Par Writing)] / Bandwang Syndrome = Nothing worth my time. *click*
You're now watching "Make Me Plastic-ly Beautiful Because I'm Shallow" on Fox.
This doesn't even merit a comment.

 

If a certain commerical was extended... Season 3!
Welcome back to Action 4 News...
Wow. Melissa looks more pissed than usual. *click*
You're now watching the History Channel.
You know, I should watch more History Channel... ... ... *click*
MTV... Who needs music when you can watch a bunch of dorks be whiny and Melodramatic!
*clicks off* Wow. TV's themselves are getting better... but most of the shows are getting worse. What? You want a punchline?! Here's one: I made your dog fuck your mom.

 
Let me get this straight: Our boys will get elected in '04 for the price of my soul?
NOO! Wasn't you paying attention?! I said for the price of your HOLE. Now, drop those khakis and be my bitch.

 

1863
Hold that flag up high! Show those damn Yankees we want to hold onto an immoral, asinine system!
1961
Let's wave our flags high and show those damn North'ners we we ain't budgin' on our Jim Crow laws!
2005
I wear this flag for my proud Southern heritage!

 

If you look around in these comics, I've said some rather... uneducated things about people as well as probably other things.
My biggest personal screw up is my eariler 'statements' on African Americans.
I've made some odd-ball, untrue comments about Black people as well as some Afro-Cultural Phenoms that doesn't have any clot and nothing to back it up scientifically.
Like me for example. A large majority of the wealthy rap community donates a good bit of money every year to good causes. (See RnR: World Sucks, Invoke Agency Today!)
He also had 2+ characters talk in ebonics & play the role of basketball players. While this does reflexed basketball players & a large proporation of the Black populus, he didn't show possitve Charas.
Now that my liberal guilt trip is over, I just wanted to say that I'll try and put in more non-stereotypical characters and keep on stereotyping Furries, Juggalos and other interest subcultures!
... What? You want a punch line?! Here's one for ya, I found some of your mom's lip on my zipp---Ah, forget it. I'm not funny at all. This clown suit isn't fooling anyone.

 

Alright. My friend Katie wants me to make a comic with her in it... I COULD take a stab at it.
2006 Meetin' o' Sorts
So, Jake... What the hell are you doing under the table??
*Fap Fap Fap Fap* Looking at the hole in the crotch of your pa-- uhh Nothiii aahh.. Ing?
... I have no dignity.
You haven't had any to begin with you retarded porn monger. Arf Arf!

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