Hello! This is me, 80MF. I've been gone for about a year, but that's ok. I'm back to being moronic and down right pathetic in my lame attempts at being funny!
Oh, great.
Hey! What's that supposed to mean?
It means you suck and I hope you die.
Sometime later...
You know.. It's getting a little.. Oh My GOD! Hell is freezing over!
Hello, I'm Hector Vector Victor Hictor and this is J-Metro's Channel 3 Action News!
Tonight's Top Story: A giantic dradle created by the Evil Rabbi Dudowsky is spinning out of control, destorying all the building in the commerical district.
... I kid you not folks. I'm serious as a heart attack.
Look at all those mindless, pathedic people, walking around without knowing that they're all just following the whems of some objective reality that their primative minds can't even begin to grasp.
Dude, what the hell are you talking about?!
Society, you nimrod! We're all just muppets to the primative order known as society! ...Yet they're all too stupid to give up on their false consciousness.
What the... Are you some kind of Goth?!
No. I'm a Sociologist.
Right... I'll be over here... with the normal people.
Oh, Satan! I have worshipped you for so long, carried out your activities, I've even raped Japanese school girls, at your preache's request. What gifts await me in your after life?
How about some... fire and brimstone?!
..What?! Satan! I've been you're loyal follower since Middle School and until I died at age 67! Don't you have something for your loyal followers?! (...and why is my drink cold coffee?)
....We have the Essentual Elevator Music Collection! Oh Oh! We also get the commercial channel in clear as a bell! On Saturdays, "Adolf Hitler and the Youth" does pop-punk covers of Journey's Hits!
You know... I think I'll go see what ol' Jeffery Dommer is up to...
Really... I'm just a janitor. I don't think you want me for this job.
Trust me! You're fine! ...You're still willing to do any for 18 bucks and a Thickburger from Hardees, right?
Ha ha! I have collected all the Arrows of Obscurity and now I will us it to defeat you, the Demon of the River-Forest!
Not so fast, young Daisetsu! I and only I still wield the Sword of Forever(tm), with which I will stab you until your eyes fall out of your skull.. BRaaaaaa!!!
Anime Voice Actor/Janitor
I think my Daisetsu was a little off... and thanks for this Thickburger!
It doesn't matter. Those Otakus eat up anything they can get their hands on... and you're welcome.
Hey! You wanna over to your grampa's and piss him off?
Nah, I'm grounded. My mom was found out that I was just sticking all those virus upgrades she's been giving me under my tounge. You're more then welcome to piss'em off though!
Hi! I'm an incredibly hot guy you've probably seen in movies.
Same here, what a small world.
We're here to remind to vote today! (Which I was told was Nov. the 2nd). We've had no formal education past highschool but we think we have some clot because we're in movies and we're good looking.
Yeah... so vote against big bussiness and Republicans! Even though the only reason we have any money is because of big bussiness and capitalism... but my agent says Democrats are hip!
I used to live in the ghetto, but now I got mo' money! (Which I don't invest in the ghetto to try an inact change.)
It was a time of Knowledge and a time of Ignorance...
Wow.... McWorld vs. Jihad. That's a pretty scary future.
Bah! j00 r soooo pwn3d!!!11shiftoneshiftone
It was a time of Great Contradictions...
Coming up next, Black people fight on for equality on into the 21st century... Only on the Black Channel, programming meant only for Black People.
I understand the princibles behind the "Three of the Book" in the Koran. I also understand that you was just on a mission from the Red Cross to help me people out, but we're going to kill you anyway!
Hello! It's been a little while after the elections and ask you can tell, lefters are pissed.
TOBOR cannot cornhole with an official husband...
Why? I dunno. It was their leftist media that told everyone to get out and vote... and they did.. and democracy worked.
Get out and vote this Nov. 2nd... and make sure it's for Kerry! You love Kerry.. You.. Love.. Kerry.. *hypnotis*
Even Kerry here consided and recognized the win... I don't like Bush and in all honestly, I don't like Kerry either. ...but just shut the fuck up about the Republican's win, alright?
You voted, he lost... He couldn't pull in the undecided votes because he was talking out of both sides of his ass.. So get over yourself! Goddamnit! Just Goddamnit!
...and we're back! Doesn't that commericial make you wanna buy soap? Now we go live to Clint Pokewifcigar! Clint?
...
Thank you Hiktor! I'm standing beside basketball superstar Lemmie Dunkz. Lemmie, how do you feel about tonight's big game?
I'm sure it's goin' be one hellauva battle, Clint. Ya'll should come down and see it. Tickets just $50 for a decent seat. Also, buy the new Lemmie Shox! Dunk better wifa LS on yo feet!
Ahh. Interesting... I've been wearing the new LS and the ladies HAVE been all up ons! After this commerical, it's the DS vs. The N-Gage QD!
We're back! That at-home lobotomy kit sure looks nice. Time to check in with out local gamers, Pixel Romm and Raster Trackball. Guys?
Uuuuugggh.
Thanks, Hik! As you can see, the QD is totally superior to the DS in every way, shape or form.
Oh ya. Game of the week is THUG 2... with even more corporate spounsorship than THUG 1! Also, don't forget to check out the Spike TV's Video Game Awards!
Thanks guys! I'll be tuning in! After this commerical, the weather! Will it be warm enough to go shopping? Find out!
I've had it up to here with this whole goddamn parade! What the hell has happened to our news program? To America?!
We're promoting a lackluster, cliche movie full of product placement and bad acting...
...Peddling shitty tickets to an equally shitty game to watch someone that should be in jail for charging up into the stands and starting a fight! Not to mention that his shoes are made by Asian Tots.
And we're giving biased reviews on products and shows your couldn't force me to watch! ...and we've ignored the must important fact of the news... reporting relevant news and not sensationalism!
I like a little captialism, but damn! This is just too much! I quit!!!
Up next on J-Metro News: Newstation seeks to hire illegal immigrant worker! Must speak English and work at 1/3 the pay. Details after this commerical break!
The Lowest Common Comedic Ploy is the lowest point one will stoop to get a laugh.
Excuse me, ma'am. Do you have the time?
yes!!!1unouno its tim 4 u 2 suk mi dik111thenumberone
Let me get this straight... You're God?
yes iam alos gay gat ppl r funy theyrb bad kill al teh gay ppl irote abot itin my bok evar red teh bibal i rote tht im so awezom i carped mi pants
I have no dignity.
u no i rotabot bad ppl lik u n my bok i caled it teh bibal u evar red teh bibal itz god becase i rote it stfu 7 haev gat sex wif mi i hat gays i carped mi pants
That's right. Let's keep reinforcing the thought in our children's minds that you have to be skinny to be beautiful. *click*
You're now watching TLC. Now, Interior Decoration. Later, even MORE Interior Decoration. At 9: Interior Decoration for Puppies!
Wow. Watch some upity chick and some bald guy with a lisp work turn one house from yester-year bland to contemporary fugly. *click*
o/' It's that time for the Wangs! o/' Only on NBC!
o/` She's a single mother in a rehashed concept with unfunny jokes that dates to '63. Comedy changes but it never does on unorginal channels like NBC! o/` *click*
Wow. Melissa looks more pissed than usual. *click*
You're now watching the History Channel.
You know, I should watch more History Channel... ... ... *click*
MTV... Who needs music when you can watch a bunch of dorks be whiny and Melodramatic!
*clicks off* Wow. TV's themselves are getting better... but most of the shows are getting worse. What? You want a punchline?! Here's one: I made your dog fuck your mom.
If you look around in these comics, I've said some rather... uneducated things about people as well as probably other things.
My biggest personal screw up is my eariler 'statements' on African Americans.
I've made some odd-ball, untrue comments about Black people as well as some Afro-Cultural Phenoms that doesn't have any clot and nothing to back it up scientifically.
Like me for example. A large majority of the wealthy rap community donates a good bit of money every year to good causes. (See RnR: World Sucks, Invoke Agency Today!)
He also had 2+ characters talk in ebonics & play the role of basketball players. While this does reflexed basketball players & a large proporation of the Black populus, he didn't show possitve Charas.
Now that my liberal guilt trip is over, I just wanted to say that I'll try and put in more non-stereotypical characters and keep on stereotyping Furries, Juggalos and other interest subcultures!
... What? You want a punch line?! Here's one for ya, I found some of your mom's lip on my zipp---Ah, forget it. I'm not funny at all. This clown suit isn't fooling anyone.