All comics by BMJ

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by BMJ
6-09-04
Look-a maple tree!
Did you know that the phrase "maple tree" triggers my change into an ornery, ass-kicking demon?
DON'T KICK ME IN THE STOMACH, I'M PREGNANT!!!
Sweet bastard...I'm ablaze.
FLAWLESS VICTORY

 

by BMJ
6-11-04
BMJ- *Goes for a Lionsault, overshoots, and lands on a table*
*Jumps on the table and starts dancing, Pee Wee Herman style*
BMJ- *Throws your pet gerbil at you*
MSG- I don't have a gerbil...I have a lobster, though. His name is Frank.
BMJ- No...his name is Sally.
MSG- .....*Explodes*

 

by BMJ
6-12-04
BMJ- Dude...can you tell me how to get to Christian Street?
El Matador- ¿Qué?
BMJ- Don't go speaking in your funny-tongue. Just tell me where the damn street is before I slap that goofy facil hair right off of you.
El Matador- ¡Ayúdeme, Mama, ayúdeme!
BMJ- My face is bleeding.
Su Mama- ¿Quieres ir un otra vez, ramera?

 

by BMJ
6-12-04
Sherman- That kid Butch is still bothering me. You think I should rationally explain to him that my lunch money is indeed MINE?
BMJ- Sherman, if you were a 6-foot-4 bully kid in the 8th grade that could steal things from all the other kids at will, would YOU listen to a rational talk from a kid like you?
Sherman- I see your point. Thanks, buddy.
BMJ- I'm wearing different clothes now.
Later that day...
Sherman- Next time, I'd appreciate it if you made your advice a little clearer. Say, weren't you a brown-haired kid wearing completely different clothes before?
BMJ- There wasn't a frustrated-looking model for my regular character.

 

by BMJ
6-13-04
Sherman- Do I still have knees? I can't bend my neck to look.
BMJ- Good gravy, man, what happened to you?!
Sherman- Butch broke a good 92% of my bones, severed a bunch of tendons, and pooped on my laptop.
BMJ- What the hell did you SAY to him?!
Sherman- I just told him that you said he should give me my money back, or else. He said this was a message for you.
BMJ- ..... I'm going to break the remaining 8%, you dumb bastard.

 

by BMJ
6-13-04
Ding Dong
BMJ- Holy shit...I'm screwed. I'm also petrified, contrary to the almost bored look on my face.
Butch- I'm going to eat your pancreas on a Ritz cracker.
BMJ- Methinks I need a disguise...
Who the...Wait, where the hell's my knife?! And where did this tie come from?
Someone who definitely isn't BMJ- Wanna pet my kitty? What's that you say, Snookums? You don't want this large young man to kill BMJ and/or cause him immense physical discomfort?

 

by BMJ
6-13-04
BMJ- Hey, dude! How are you feeling? Better?
Sherman- Well, as a matter of fact, I am. So how did your little "meeting" with Butch go? Hee hee. Did yo-
BMJ- When you get up, if you make it to the phone, give me a call so I can come over and knock you down again.
And, so, all's well that ends well. Sherman is lying crippled and unconscience on his bedroom floor, and Butch is a changed man, thanks to BMJ's charming personality and quick thinking.
Butch- *Sniff* No one's ever given me flowers before...I'm think going to go adopt a child and love him and pet him.

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