All comics by BigZeeff

 

Berkner Pimp by BigZeeff 2-06-02
Kevin Z. does some Berkner pImping Hey stud! Wazzup, shet. Show u my wyld thang. Here's a little trick I taught mahself!!	What the phuck? Ahhhh!!!!!	Oh boy..... Sir, you are under arrest for having sex through someone's eye socket. You have been charged with rape, murder, and necro- Hey, it was cranal sex, get it! Cranal! Betch! Ah Phuck!!! Phuck this! This is totally phucked up!!!

 

Oh santa by BigZeeff 2-06-02
Santa!! Good evening, I came here to announce the moving of Santa's workshop from the North Pole to Mexico. Are there any questions? Yes, you.	Uh, yes. There have been rumours spreading of your involvement with the September bombing of the Twin Towers. And is it true you have a swastika tattoed on your penis?	Booooo!!! Why the hell would I tatto my penis?! What the fucks the matter with you! Oh my God, this is insane! This interview is fucking over, you can all kiss my ass! Motherfuckers!!!!! I'll fucking fight you!

 

The Excrutiating Pain that is Math Models by BigZeeff 2-06-02
Hey kids, welcome to Math Models, I'm your teacher Mr. Zeeff. Your first assignment is- What the fuck, I ain't doing no shit.	You just made a big mistake, MOTHERFUCKER!!!! WHAT THE FUCK?! HOLY SHIT!!	Shut the fuck up! Im a fucking Math Models teacher, fuck! These fucking kids, they don't wanna do my shit!! I'll do whatever I can to get into their fucking minds!! And he even cussed at me! That fag! You have the right to remain silent. You have been charged with murder, rape, and necrofiliation-

 

Iron Kids Bread. More Like Corn Bread....... by BigZeeff 2-06-02
I smoked so much weed last night I made love to a breadbox. Oh dude..... Man...	I man I feel all funky now... He is about to cum.	Me too, guys... Shhh. Hehheh... I wonder if it was Iron Kids bread! Unhh!!!

 

Our favorite Math Models teacher is back! by BigZeeff 2-19-02
Today in Math Models we will learn how to add numbers. Now this is a number. 1. 1 is a number. 2 is also a number. 2 and 1 are not the same number. 3 is also a number. Psst, Beth. What's happening? Nothing, eh? This class is so boring, I'm just gonna zone out. Mr. Zeeff's monotone voice just makes me sleepy, yah know?	Yeah I got a fucking 48 in this class, this is bullshit. This class is so fucking stupid. I'm smart, I don't need this shit. I understand math. This class is just so boring. Maybe if you paid attention you could get better grades. I mean if you just listen to Mr. Zeeff, maybe you will learn something. You never know, he might say something interesting one day.	-her mouth! Thats 69. You know Fernando? Kid with blue shirt and white cap? Yeah, once I cummed into his mouth. He wanted to do this 'double anal' thing but I was like "phuck I ain't doin that shit!" Ah whatever, that old phuck can kiss my ass.

 

Phernando Phucks Up by BigZeeff 2-28-02
Now, this is an easy step, you kids should understand it. Now, when you add 5 plus 2 you will get 7! Oh wait, sorry, that was out of my class for 4th grade, you guys aren't that far yet. Hey Phrank, I'm bored in class again. I phound out a way to talk so Mr. Zeeff can't understand. I just use this code I made up. You just switch F with Ph, he'll never phigure it out! Watch this...	Ok, Fernando. Pop quiz hotshot, whats 1 plus 1? This kids a complete idiot, I seriously doubt he will understand this simple concept. Hahaha! You know what Mr. Z, phuck you! You can't phucking make phun of my anymore, you phoolish phag! Can't understand me? It's my new language, phucker. I'm the phucking master.	Isn't it true phernando phishes his phallanges into his phathers phagina and phanny? Or does he give him a phellatio? I phorget.... Either way, hes a phukking phakket. Huh? What did he say? I.. finger fish?

 

The Big Test by BigZeeff 3-07-02
And I just put 'Mr. Zeeff's Math Models Test' on the top! And boom, I'm finished! Now to just move the mouse over to print... Oh man, this test is fucked up, what you trying to make your students gay and have sex with you? Why don't I change this 'numeral into 'nigga'	That's racist! That's just mean! Ah cmon, betch! I need some fucking action!	How about I touch the top of this 'i', see if I can make it jizz! No! Besides, the last time I put jizz on a test my students went nuts. This kid named Fernando, well, lets just say when I got it back there was more jizz than before. Semen, that is. He cummed on it.

 

Sex Ed. 1 by BigZeeff 3-07-02
For some reason, Berkner decided to give all the math teachers the responsibility of teaching Sex Ed this year... The first subject I will brush you up on is STD's, just memorize these safety guidelines!	WARNING: If you feel you may have contracted an STD, consult your physician. WARNING: If you feel you may have large breasts, possible due to breast cancer, consult your local Math Models teacher.	What the phuck? That isn't even an STD?! What the phuck? WARNING: If you have sex with Fernando, consult your mortician.

 

Introduction to English 2 by BigZeeff 3-28-02
Hi! I'm Mrs. Zeeff, you probably know my husband. Your current teacher died in a necrofiliation rape accident last night so I am taking her place. Welcome to English 2! Necro? Sounds like your husband did it!	Oh my! What is your name young man! They call me Fernando.....	Whatever Fagnando, why don't you come over and let me husband cum in your eyes!! What the fuck? This whole school system is fucking messed up!

 

The Reading, Part 1 by BigZeeff 3-28-02
Ok, today we read an excerpt from a play my husband wrote called "the Red Room". Ok, Fernando you read The part of the father, Ibrahim, you can read the part of Simon. And I'll read the mom. I clutched my son's nude body and shook his shoulder's, and he continued jacking his penis just as I'd instructed. I learned to mastarbate at 14, but my son was learning at the tender age of 8.	The door quickly swung open and my wife entered the "Red Room". "Honey, what the fuck are you-Simon! Oh know, not my poor Simon! Richard, how dare you! Why? Why oh why? "No, no honey! I was about to come......cum...I mean, come show you this odd birthmark on Simon's genital-Ok, what the fuck is this fucking story! This is fucking disgusting! Your husband is satan!	Fernando! That was uncalled for, I'll have you know this is a very deep story, you have to see past the penis, past the cum to see what the heart of the story is, can't you see that? Ok, fine, whatever. But after this excerpt I'm fucking finished with you, Mrs. Zeeff! *Ahem*

 

The Reading, Part 2 by BigZeeff 3-28-02
Honey, I can't take this right now! I'll talk to you tonight! *Exuent* "My son, do you know where you came from? Tonight I will show you, come into the bedroom in the dark and hide in the corner and I will show you how you came to be. I will show you both birth and death	"Wha' fuck you meant, dad?" Shut the fuck up kid!	Now lets analyze this. I think that the wife resembles reality, and the fathers having sex with her is hope, and the so jacking off is hope living on. And the use of death foreshadows the future! I think your husband is just a phucking disgustin' maniac.

 

Fernandos Punishment Part 1 by BigZeeff 4-12-02
Fernando, please, tell me your sins my brother Father, I have failed the lord in having committed a grandiose sin. I have on one occasion forgot to pray. That is all.	That's not all BITCH! YOU FUCKING MADE A STRIP CUMMING ON MR. ZEEFF's WIFE! YOU DIRTY ROTTEN BASTARD! CRANAL SEX WASN'T ENOUGH TO TEACH YOU! YOU WILL NOW SUFFER UNFATHOMABLE PUNISHMENT!!!!!!! What THE PHUCK?!?! HOLY SHIT!!!! THIS IS A PHUCKING TRAP!!!!	Ring!!!! Ring!!!! Oh my God.... Where the phuck am I...

 

Fernandos Punishment Ending by BigZeeff 4-12-02
Ring!!! Ringgg!!! I guess I better answer that mysterious RED phone....	Hello? Heellllooo?? What the phuck? Did someone turn the lights on? I'm gonna cum on every 'hare' on your body...	Next Morning... No man has ever touched me the way you did last night. I know Kevin sent me here to bring you pain and I'm sorry but- No, I really liked it. Kevin just has a terrible taste in women. The joke's on him if he's giving a great woman like you to me. It was the most erotic experience of my life. Hold me one more time..

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