All comics by Chizi-jibini

Profile

 

by Chizi-jibini
5-07-01
One day, Ol' Pappy got into the firewater and had himself just a little too much. Soon he found himself in the far distant and apocalyptic future...
Awww, ya dang kids, give me my dignity!
I'm not a kid, old man, I'm a bench
Meanwhile, miles above the city in his secret fortress, captain flame makes an important phone call
Get me the president!
no
So that's why I killed your cat.
no

 

by Chizi-jibini
5-07-01
I hate that guy
I hate that guy
Did I say that, or did he?
Did I say that, or did he?
Problem solved

 

by Chizi-jibini
5-07-01
America, early 1500s
I claim this land in the name of Spain!
Sorry, I was here first
Nice job soldier, I'll put my summer house over here, my olympic sized swimming pool over there...
That's it, you can have the frickin' continent, I'm gonna go get devistated by disease and be slaughtered by you a whlole lot
Sounds good to me...what was his deal?
He's just mad 'cause we have cool flags

 

by Chizi-jibini
5-07-01
We seem rather standard, don't you think?
Yeah, we could at least have a background.
I dunno, I kinda like the negative space
you would
So, uhhh...wanna get re-baptized?
I never learned to read!!!

 

by Chizi-jibini
5-07-01
Satan at the bar
That's it, I don't like your attitude...get out of here!
How many times am I gonna let this goat push me around?
Upset, he rushes to counseling, but finds no consulation.
I still think it has something to do with my mother..
I advise medication
Why doesn't anyone realize I need to be validated?
WHY ME???

 

by Chizi-jibini
5-07-01
Wait...who are you again?
Not gonna say
Shoooo--eee, don't I know you?
Leave me alone
This says you're my mail order bride...
KISS ME!

 

by Chizi-jibini
5-07-01
Do you feel like there's a higher power?
Y'know, like everything we do is being watched and judged by someone or something infinitely better than ourselves?
I can't tell, am I poorly drawn?
Don't ask me.

 

by Chizi-jibini
5-07-01

 

by Chizi-jibini
5-07-01
One fine, beautiful bumble-morning, Mr. Pinkins decided to go on an adventure!
My mind is awakened
Silence is the rain of sorrow
On the road into candied apple town he met a kindly old man seeped in the ways of the world
The wicked shall be fed to the once living
Is there any other way?
But when he went to visit the king and give him the note from the fairy prince, he realized something was wrong!
I will not be subsumed
Your demeanor suggests otherwise

 

by Chizi-jibini
5-07-01
So the guy starts runnin', right? And I'm all like, "yeah right...where YOU goin'"
Why is he telling me this?
The he turns around and kicks me right in the joy department! I mean, me!
Why can't he just reap my soul and be done with it!!!???
You know, I think you're my soulmate
I hate anthropormorphic representations of abstract concepts

 

by Chizi-jibini
5-07-01
"Dear sir or madam, I am writing this letter in regards to your comics. It is my solemn duty to inform you that as far as I can tell, none of them makes any sense at all to anyone I confer with."
"Their seemingly erratic and pointless babblings have annoyed and confused me for the last time, enclosed you will find a thermonuclear device, goodbye, scumbag."
3...2...1...have a nice day
Great, now we have to try and be coherent.
I hate you Mobile

 

by Chizi-jibini
5-07-01
One fine summer day on the plateau...
Bwahahha....don't look too stable there, pal.
Shut up, man, this is really hard...I think this thing is hatching!
Yikes, ya don't have to get all snippy with me!
I'm losin' it!
I expected a giant lizard or something...frankly I'm disappointed.
That dog tasted like cheap liquor

 

by Chizi-jibini
5-08-01
I, the all-mighty and powerful Nguvu, command my comics to be funny...even if it is at the expense of innocent bystanders!
So, here we go, and DO remember to be AS insulting as possible!
PERFECT!
I, Chizi-jibini, am so stupid that I have driven a nail into my own head!

 

by Chizi-jibini
5-09-01
Whoa, where am I?
Welcome to the land of the dead...flesh is forbidden here
You've gotta be kidding me.
Not at all, mortal, now prepare yourself for the transformation.
I hate vegens
Should you still have that ball? I thought it hatched...

 

by Chizi-jibini
5-09-01
Meanwhile, back at the plateau, trouble is afoot...
Will you marry me?
Yes
The trap is sprung!
Just what I wanted to hear...freeze, scumbag.
You don't have the guts, boy.
You're right. What a fool I've been.
Now go gather some sticks, I wanna build a nest.

 

by Chizi-jibini
5-09-01
Back in the underworld, Fluffy attempts an escape.
I gotta get out of here, post-haste.
You've gotta admit, the ball thing is kinda wierd...
Hurriedly formulating a plan, he puts it immediately into action.
Wanna see me do a trick?
Look, why don't I save us both the trouble of another tired fire-in-the-last-panel joke and just let you go?
Sorry, my wife thought that was gangbusters
Just get out

 

by Chizi-jibini
5-09-01
Just then, things get messy on the plateau...
I couldn't find any sticks...there aren't any around here. If you hadn't noticed already, moron, we're in a desert.
I don't feel so well.
Suddenly, the hell-spawned demon bird began to shake violently...
Hey, what's wrong? You don't look good at all...I'll get the ginger ale.
My expression was never more appropriate.
Suddenly the bird-beast blew apart, sending blood and gore from the once powerful monstrosity flying all over the place, as Fluffy, soaked in entrails, crawled forth from the avian wreakage in a graph
Hey, where've you been?
Not sure....I think it was some kind of commune...got any vodka?

 

by Chizi-jibini
5-12-01
In a nearby gallery, possibly much like this very website...
Wow, this place is cool!
Great, another loser off the street
Hey, pal, wanna check out some of my work? It may fit the place well!
Crap, crap, crap...nonsence, crap, crap
Hey mister, why are you starring at me like that?
BURN, YOU NEWBIE SCUM!

 

by Chizi-jibini
5-13-01
One day, in beautiful poq-land
Hey, do you like to have sex in a gay fashion?
Yes, incidently I am a regular from a obscure IRC channel for an unreleased game.
I will now engage in the aforementioned sexual activity with you...unf.
I will enjoy that...unf
None of you will understand my broad social commentary.
I am SO goth.

 

by Chizi-jibini
10-14-02
In other news; today , Cigarettes were proven to cause horrible, wilting brain cancer, as well as many unfathomable deformaties, if taken internally.
Yum
Yes, this is a joke.
This just in; you may laugh now.

 

by Chizi-jibini
10-14-02
You know, it's here, out in the field amid the shells, that a man gets to know what he's really made of.
...
That's just sad.

 

by Chizi-jibini
10-15-02
So, I guess I don't get it. What is funny to you people?
Have you tried mentioning anal rape?
I dunno...I just can't bring myself to stoop to something like that...
Stoop!? This country was built on anal rape!
I don't know if I can bring myself to think of our founding fathers so much as thinking the word "cornhole".
Have you tried mentioning blowjobs?

 

by Chizi-jibini
10-20-02
This side sucks.

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