All comics by Eskimolee

Profile

 

by Eskimolee
5-15-06
Hey man what is up with you?
I don't want to talk about it!
Aww just tell me dude!
OKAY! My girlfriend was annoyed at me and stuck me up here!
Dude whats bad about that i would love it if i was nailed by a chick!!
MI can't look at you man...Dude bad!!

 

by Eskimolee
5-15-06
Holy crap that is a big ass thing coming towards me!!!
arggh what the hell has happened to me!!!
HEHEHE
Thats better. Arghh what the hell have you done to my face!!!
Aww ace dude i love being the artist!

 

by Eskimolee
5-15-06
Herby was annoyed his computer had broke and went to take his frustration out on some idiot!
Dude you got a knife why?
Is anger enraged him and he struck out at the first idiot he saw.
Like....Owwww
Herby didn't know why he had done what he had but it was strangley nice to do it
Oooops

 

by Eskimolee
5-15-06
My name i s alfred and i live in a bin. i like to burn things i know its a sin.
Squirrels are fun they burn alot. i like to burn things it gets really hot.
but i get very sad when it's over and done. i din't want to harm anyone.

 

by Eskimolee
5-16-06
hey man, why did the human cross the road?
i dunno man why?
to get to the other side. hahahahahah!
Weak man...Just poor.

 

by Eskimolee
5-16-06
Mike was shocked at the news he got.
Yeah....The operation didn't go too well....

 

by Eskimolee
5-16-06
Despite the signs. It wasn't me.

 

by Eskimolee
5-16-06
Thanks Melvin. We have both got a distaste for Fluffy the cat. So we are going to play a little prank on him.
Hi there i am Melvin the dog and tis is my good friend Ian.
ring ring.
Thats the phone. Who could that be?
Hello...ARGGGHHHHHHHHHH
Wrong number....

 

by Eskimolee
5-16-06
Ohh yeah....mmmmm..ohh god thats good...mmmm yeah.
ohhhhhhh yeah....ohh god don't stop thats amazing...mmmmmm.mmmm.mm
Click!
DAD??
mmmmmmm...i love you son.

 

by Eskimolee
5-16-06
Son as your father...and God, i forbid you from visiting uncle satan..he is a bad influence on you.
Dad no way that is sooo unfiar. Look i am jesus i made you what you are so i can do what i like!
What...Don't dare talk to me like that ! Go to your room!
NO! i am going to live with uncle Satan!
Come back...Dam Mary got all the good shit in the divorce and i am left with this tit!

 

by Eskimolee
5-16-06
So Jay C went to hell to visit his uncle Satan...
Uncle satan! Uncle Satan! where are you!
Good Uncle..where were you? my dad has forbidden me from visiting you.
Hey Jesus...sorry it's Jay C these days isn't it? how are you doing nephew?
Okay!
I will go have a word with him... i'll be right back. just make your self at home

 

by Eskimolee
5-16-06
Hello and welcome to the news...i am Dave Elliot and this is Maria - will sleep with anything because she is a big fat whore - paterson.
Thank you knob jockey. On the news today man was found severly beaten in a news room.
No there wasn....ohh is that meant to be a threat? the real news today, Maria was discovered to be the main cause of all STD's.
If thats the case then...news just in Dave has every STD i have!
BITCH!
I know i love it.

 

by Eskimolee
5-16-06
beep...beep...bleep... bloop....bleeeeep....
look i said fries a coke and a monster burger!
Beep beep beep beeep bloop.
SCREW THIS!
haha i totally go him there!

 

by Eskimolee
5-16-06
Hey Luci what the hell are you doing here?
DON'T CALL ME LCUI ! ! I have come to tell you that you can't treat your son the way you do. He is a good kid let him do as he wants!
look i don't care you are a bad inluence!!!
Well Screw you Godfrey i am going to teach him everything i know!!
BASTARD!!
MHAAAAAAAA!!!!

 

by Eskimolee
5-16-06
Hey Luci what the hell are you doing here?
DON'T CALL ME LCUI ! ! I have come to tell you that you can't treat your son the way you do. He is a good kid let him do as he wants!
look i don't care you are a bad inluence!!!
Well Screw you Godfrey i am going to teach him everything i know!!
BASTARD!!
MHAAAAAAAA!!!!

 

by Eskimolee
5-16-06
Hey Luci what the hell are you doing here?
DON'T CALL ME LCUI ! ! I have come to tell you that you can't treat your son the way you do. He is a good kid let him do as he wants!
look i don't care you are a bad inluence!!!
Well Screw you Godfrey i am going to teach him everything i know!!
BASTARD!!
MHAAAAAAAA!!!!

 

by Eskimolee
5-16-06
Hey Luci what the hell are you doing here?
DON'T CALL ME LCUI ! ! I have come to tell you that you can't treat your son the way you do. He is a good kid let him do as he wants!
look i don't care you are a bad inluence!!!
Well Screw you Godfrey i am going to teach him everything i know!!
BASTARD!!
MHAAAAAAAA!!!!

 

by Eskimolee
5-16-06
Hey Luci what the hell are you doing here?
DON'T CALL ME LCUI ! ! I have come to tell you that you can't treat your son the way you do. He is a good kid let him do as he wants!
look i don't care you are a bad inluence!!!
Well Screw you Godfrey i am going to teach him everything i know!!
BASTARD!!
MHAAAAAAAA!!!!

 

by Eskimolee
5-16-06
Hey Luci what the hell are you doing here?
DON'T CALL ME LCUI ! ! I have come to tell you that you can't treat your son the way you do. He is a good kid let him do as he wants!
look i don't care you are a bad inluence!!!
Well Screw you Godfrey i am going to teach him everything i know!!
BASTARD!!
MHAAAAAAAA!!!!

 

by Eskimolee
5-16-06
Despite Gods wishes for Jesus Satan went against them....Plus the minor error of the publishing of the same comic 5 times means that this is a little later on than god and satans meeting.
Jay C it's time i let you have some fun. I am giving you a pass to earth...and this time you won't wake up in a shitty cave!
Cool! Can i go now?
Yes you can go right now!
Nad so Jesus....Sorry JAY C was now on his way to earth.
Whoaaaaa!!!
but use your power carefully!!! Have fun

 

by Eskimolee
5-16-06
So Jesus goes to earth...
Hi there. I am Jes....yes Jess. What is your name?
Hi i am Kirsty. You want a drink?
After a hell of a lot of drinks!
So you see my dad is like God and he hates his brother...hiccup....Satan....i am stuck in the middle of it....hiccup....all! you know what i mean?
Yehah Okay i totally have no idea what you are talking about FREAK!
So Jesus goes a bit mad on earth but he does no real harm...Does he?
I Smite you fool!!! Believe me i am JESUS!!!
ARGHHHHHH!!!

 

by Eskimolee
5-16-06
Jesus has been on earth for two hours now.
Yes the worl d as we know it is coming to an end. it is supposedly the fault of a man calling himself Jesus - Nephew of Satan! i Personally think it is Maria's fault...Bitch!
Thank you Colset Gay....Yes the world is ending maybe now Dave will admit to being gay....
Jesus has been on earth for two hours now.
Wait a second who has joined us here...It's JESUS - Nephew of Satan.
Yes it is and i am going to turn you into a BEE!!!
Jesus has been on earth for two hours now.
BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Haaaaaaaaaa bee bee bee bee fool!

 

by Eskimolee
5-16-06
VOICE OF GOD : SON STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND GET BACK UP HERE LOOK AT EARTH IT'S IN A MESS!!!
DAD i don't want to.....Okay i will come up.
Master?
Son i am not happy now go to your room and stay there i have to go clean up earth.
Okay dad but it was just a bit of fun!!! first bit of freedom i have had in ages....try having your ass hung on a cross!!
So that was Jay C's day....until next time.
I will e-mail Uncle Satan and tell him i will be back down in the holidays....

 

by Eskimolee
5-16-06
Herby set out to meet a new friend
Hi i am Heby...I kill people alot....
Wow me too i am called Bob.
OKAY...
Lets go kill!
ooops i got carried away....

 

by Eskimolee
5-16-06
Hey hey hey...what doe shtis button do?
Listen i am training you...don't press anything until i say okay.
BEEP.
wow wow look you are vanishing look look cool.
You aren't listening to me...stop pressing things!
Oh my god he did it to you to?
oh my god what an idiot!

 

by Eskimolee
5-16-06
your on!
Dude i so bet you that you can't stand still in the snow for 5 days!
THAW god dammit THAW!
Yeah dude looks like you win......Dude...?

 

by Eskimolee
5-16-06
Ohh yeah baby down there thats it i like that...mmmmmmm ohh yeah mmm...
ohh yeah harder harder...ohhhhYES!!!!!!
So when will we do this again?
Holy crap you aren't cheryl!
I feel so so dirty right now....

 

by Eskimolee
5-17-06
i am dave and this is channel 3 news. A new discovery has been found....
Yes Dave here is a woman...actually a genius child has been discovered in australia
Gudday children!
I am not at all amused by your childish attempts to amuse me with such a feeble mocking sock puppet. do yuo really think i don't know you are a man with his hand up a sock...honestly.
Probably yours...whore yuo will sleep with anything...thank you for watching.
thats not what you were saying when you were begging for it like a girl....goodnight!!

 

by Eskimolee
5-17-06
Question...?
Shoot dude!
Okay is it wrong to beat up a someone because of something they did?
i suppose it all depnds on what they did?
Well....I slept with your sister...
PRICK!

 

by Eskimolee
5-17-06
dude i am going to send you a file okay...?
Alright man send it !
Beep beep...sending data...message sent.
DONE!
I got it...what is this.....ohh my god no no that's arghh........
Thats me and your sister doing it! haha
...

 

by Eskimolee
5-17-06
Hey son whats up?
Well dad as shocking as this may sound...People on earth actually doubt your existance!
what! Who the heaven are these people!
Dad chill i am going to go down there and teach them about heaven.
Oh no your not last time you went down there i spent a week cleaning up...dam boy a nigga is only supposed to work six days the seventh is for rest!
Fine dad down you go and i hope you have fun!

 

by Eskimolee
5-17-06

 

by Eskimolee
5-17-06
I have a letter....it says that i amn't your biological father....
What!
I dunno son...i just don't know...
What is going to happen to me daddy?

 

by Eskimolee
5-17-06
TV's are the best thing...i am so interesting to watch....watch me.
Telephones are the only way to communicate...ring ring! ring ring!
We are everything you know and love...we will rule this world..all of us1
Pick up the phone pick up the phone answer me...phone a friend phone someone!
Holy crap what a nightmare!!!

 

by Eskimolee
5-17-06
Dude gues what...?
Look dude i am fed up of all these jokes about my sis just leave her alone and stop it okay?
But dude your sister has like the nicest ass in the world..
yo dude shut up shut up shut up
but dude she does!
SHUT UP!!!

 

by Eskimolee
5-17-06
I know you are.
Dude DUCK!
YES i can see you know!.
NO! DUDE DUCK!
Wow you really think something would have hit me by now.
I know it all feels slightly disapointing

 

by Eskimolee
5-17-06
I am Protesting
Dude why are you standing out here?
Well this world has become a completely violence orientated place with wars and arguing so i amprotesting for peace and love and well being in all humanity.
What is there to protest about?
Thank god we are a violence orientated society...

 

by Eskimolee
5-17-06
Fuck...Bucket of cum! yeah i have...Shitface..torrets.
dude are you okay?
I have learned to cope with it...some times i...FUCK! have a tendency to...SHIT ON ME!...explo
Are you sure your okay?!?
Holy crap...

 

by Eskimolee
5-18-06
TAXI!
TAXI!
Im not black...why amn't i sitting in a taxi right now?

 

by Eskimolee
5-18-06
Man Santa works us like dogs...that fat bitch goes out once a year but we work all year round.
yes with crap pay and breaks. If we are bad he hits us if we are good he hits us...we can't win
Quite frankly, i am fed up of it all i say we go on strike!
YEAH lets go on strike!!
THE VOICE OF SANTA: Guess who are going on my naughty list?
No we are sorry...
Yes sooo sorry please don't do that.

 

by Eskimolee
5-20-06
Hi there can i take your order?
Why do you want to take my order ehh why?
It's my jod sir i have to please just give me your order!
You wanna use that tone with me agian....?

 

by Eskimolee
5-22-06
Now listen if we are going to live together you can't do some of the things you normally would.
Like what?
Well for example...
Like throwing your feaces around!!!

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