All comics by Fantasma

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by Fantasma
7-13-03
My green t-shirt stinks like shit.
Change your shirts more frequently, you dirty stinky 40 year old mommy boy!
Don´t talk to my like that!...You hurt me.
"WASH YOURSELF!" i say. I bet you got pimples on your little pecker.
Thinking ´bout it...i won´t take a shower anytime soon.
Will there ever be an end?

 

by Fantasma
7-13-03
John, can i ask you something?
Well, if you disgusting beer belly man will leave me alone after that...SURE, FINE!
By the way, why did you paint your entire house purple?
I thought, maybe you could explain me that...
All my hate to you, Greg, all my hate to you!

 

by Fantasma
7-13-03
I mean...
Look at me...
I think the beelzebub must have created me. *sigh*

 

by Fantasma
7-13-03
This is "depressive mr. frosty"
Don´t you also hate her? I wish i had arms and an axe or a tree shredder to put her into...no arms though... wüahahaaawüüüüüüü!!!

 

by Fantasma
7-13-03
I get all the girls.
Nhharr harr, wuttz your technique?
It´s my "grungy" style. Girls think you can play a guitar. And boys who can play the guitar, so they believe, are very good at munching their way to the g-spot.
Nguarr narrhhh, way ta go!

 

by Fantasma
7-13-03
Hay, my name is Joe Jew.
Double J Joe Jew. Would you like to inspect my hooked nose?

 

by Fantasma
7-13-03
I´m on the internet 8 hours a day, 7 days a week. All i do is downloading porn. Everyday i say to myself: "STOP IT!"
Stained trousers and t-shirts, no woman will ever talk to me.
Good lord, the URGE returns, maybe i should go to a doctor...or maybe this is my destiny, this is why i was born.

 

by Fantasma
7-13-03
Hey Joe. How you´re doin´?
I´m just a-starin´at the sky.
hmmm...hmmmm....
ummm...
Just walk off the street, Joe. Or i will have to use sheer force.
Ok, you are the king of the village. I will let you pass.

 

by Fantasma
7-14-03
Greg, lemme ask you a question. Do people on the street stare at you as you walk by? I mean little kids, women, teenage boys?
Yes, this happens everytime.
And i know the reason for this behaviour. Greg, you are beardy, greasy, and most importantly...
...you smell like a pile of herring mixed with duck shit.
Thanks for the flowers, man. *starts to cry*

 

by Fantasma
7-14-03
Oh lord, how i love it when human beings kill each other because of their different religions.
Yes, my son, i think it was a good idea of mine to write the bible and the koran.
I will eternally bow down to you, beelzebub, oh mighty lord and ruler of planet earth!
I just wish i was a bit taller. Well, nevermind.

 

by Fantasma
7-14-03
Hello, my name is Jack.
I wash my hands about 20 times a day. If the light switch of my bedside table lamp doesn´t make the right sound before i go to bed, guess what, i am switchin´ that damn thing till it sounds right.
This can last, i can tell you...

 

by Fantasma
7-14-03
Oh yea, come to daddy, ms. vacuum cleaner! ooooooh yeeeaaaaaaaaah!
Gotta be careful that my member won´t be shredded by the rotors. Other than that, it was an amazing experience!
Oh Jesus Christ, what in the name of christianity have i done? I am going to burn in hell forever! Noooo! Please not!

 

by Fantasma
7-14-03
And you are one of those intellectual "human beings"?
Indeed, my little grey friend.
Well, obviously you seem to LACK a certain amount of intelligence...
Why´s that?
Because you don´t wear a grey bodysuit made out of elastic stockings and vaseline latex that gives you a good rubbin´ while walking.
Now THAT is the reason why aliens always look so stupid. I have to admit that i´m pretty astonished (and aroused too).

 

by Fantasma
7-14-03
Hallo my friends, i thought i will make you laff taday!
Oy vey! Oy vey! Oy vey! Oy vey! Oh whay don´t cha give a yiddishe boy a chance?
Ahahahahahah! Please stop it! ahahahahahah! buuuuaahhahahahaha! muhahahahaaaaahaaaaa haa haaaaaa!

 

by Fantasma
7-14-03
Good evening. I am Larry the Shark.
Good evening Larry. I am Harry the hadrosaur.
5 minutes later
Did you have a good talk with mr. hadrosaur?
He made me hungry. Let´s eat him up!
20 minutes later
Yum yum.
Tasted like turkey.

 

by Fantasma
7-14-03
(We see young Karl Buechner shouting out his anger)
Coughing up blood! Gasping for breath! Each one was a nail in your coffin... IIIIINHAAAAALE, ASPHYXIATE!!!
?
I´m...a cigarette, you moron!
uuuuh...
I will never get lung cancer, get it?

 

by Fantasma
7-15-03
The author created this comic while he suffered from extreme stomach pain (really true). He expresses his feelings by using the comic character "Deuce"
God DAMN JESUS CHRIST IN HEAVEN! STOMACH PAIN FUCKING SUCKS!
Shit i shouldn´t have eaten that mushroom pizza so fast! Now i suffer! aaaaah! ouch! ow ow ow!
This HAS to be what hell is like. you eternally suffer from stomach pain and you will never be able to cut the cheese!

 

by Fantasma
5-02-04
Pastor Berklovitz, when i´m dressed up as santa claus, nobody will ever think that i´m a hizbollah suicide bomber!
That´s absolutely right, Muhammad. You´ll just go to the shopping mall and let children sit on your lap.
And when they´re all standing in line, when there is a queue of little, sweet, christian, innocent american children waiting to tell santa their wishes for christmas......................KABOOM!
So it shalt be. Harr Harr Harrrrrr!!!
Allah is great!

 

by Fantasma
5-02-04
One day at college...
Hi Joooeeeey!!! Would you like to fuck me in the ass?
Oh my fucking god!
No, i need some anal joy first! I hope I cleaned everything down there.
*Sniff Sniff* Oh fuck, maybe i should change my thongs more frequently. Otherwise, Joey won´t fuck me!
To be continued, folks...
Who do these trailer trash women think they are? I´m the hottest boy in college, i won´t fuck those two filthy, smelly women for a billion dollars...

 

by Fantasma
5-02-04
Whoa, you´re so hot! I want to cum on your tits! RIGHT NOW!
Alright Joey, I´m also very horny. Should i leave my horny shirt on?
Yes! first i wanna eat your pussy!
Oh ye- aaaah...
*munch munch*
Oooooooooooh!

 

by Fantasma
5-02-04
Yea beotch, i´m all high in da sky!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Whoeeeeeeeeeeeeeoooh!
Whoa, dude, why dontcha pass the blunt?
Things get ugly...
No way, sucka. I´mma smoke it alone!
Then I´ll quit our 10 year-friendship!!!
So Larry lost his old friend Ratops, because Ratops liked smoking the blunt more than spending time with his friend...This story is very likely to be continued...
He didn´t care *Sniff, Sniff, Cry*

 

by Fantasma
5-02-04
NOW THE TIME HAS COME
FOR YOU TO SEE
THE LIGHT!

 

by Fantasma
5-02-04
Muhahahaha! Filthy, disgusting jew! I´m gonna beat the crap out of you!
The FUCK? NarrrHarrrr, Pleeze Mr. Nazi, spare me!!!!!! Let´s eat some strudel together!
Yaaa, ich kampfe now and schlage auf dein mund!
Whoaw, i guess no strudel today....
I look like a hot edward norton.
OY VEY OY VEY, HE´S CHASING MEYYY!!!

 

by Fantasma
5-02-04
YAAA! HAIL REBEL FLAG! Won´t you eat a strudel with me?
Yes Richard, i´ll go get the forks!
You know what? *munch munch* Diese Strudel tastes very gut!
Yaaa, it gives us National Socialists kraft to fight the jews and the illuminati. So we can establish a white, safe world without kikes, niggers and greasers!
I am so proud of my Viking ancestors! I´ll go and tell Muad´Dib about our refreshing conversation!
Do that, Richard. May we forever be victorious!

 

by Fantasma
5-02-04
Whoa, might I have the honor to inspect your titties?
Hmmmm...
Too late!
Helmut, you´re a dirty, old man!

 

by Fantasma
5-02-04
I am healed from being a masturbating-addict!
You know that old comics suck, don´t you?
Uh-huh!
Well, this series is over forever. It won´t be re-animated till the end of all times.

 

by Fantasma
5-02-04
You know what, Sung-Hi Lee?
What?
I´m too lazy to change the background or the characters.
But that menans that people at stripcreator.com will see us more often!
Exactly, Sung-Hi Lee. Now please finger me, because no boy will ever do that.
You´ve got too much bush down there!

 

by Fantasma
5-02-04
Awww! A Vietnamsian girl in a dress! Now how cute is that! Do you wanna pet my cat?
?
What did the woman say, Sung-Hi Lee?
She wanted me to pet her cat!
But I wanted to stay here and fight for the Vietcong.
Wise decision, Sung-Hi Lee!

 

by Fantasma
5-02-04
Back to the basics, I guess. Right, Sung-Hi Lee?
Right. Gosh, there are penises in this world who are bigger than my body.
Would you suck ´em?
Sure, my head´s big enough!

 

by Fantasma
5-02-04
I mean "penises WHICH are bigger".

 

by Fantasma
5-02-04
Oh my god! I´ve got an apocalyptic vision!
There´s fire!!!!!
Congratulations, Sung-Hi Lee. You have passed the test. Now you are allowed to suck my pole!
This is getting weirder and weirder with every comic strip, don´t you think, dear reader?

 

by Fantasma
5-02-04
Oooooooooh, yeeeeeeeahh!
Lesbian Porn is sooo good!
Now i´ll take a seat and finish myself off!
Uuuuuh yeah, I wanna feel her warm butt on me! What a lucky chair I am...

 

by Fantasma
5-02-04
Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap!
:-)
!

 

by Fantasma
5-02-04
Oh no! Americano is going to shoot me!!!
HALT! In the name of the United States Of America, the greatest and most prosperous country in the universe, i now will destroy you little Vietnamesian whore!
Vietnam has won the battle of Ho Chi Minh City!
Yea, they couldn´t even kill Uday Hussein with 200 soldiers in less than two hours. They really suck.

 

by Fantasma
5-04-04
I´m all muscular, dude. I´ll be pushin´ weight 9 to 5.
Whoa man, respect for that. What´s your benchpress record?
200 kilos for 5 reps.
What´s that in lbs.?
This comic is going nowhere!
Yep.

 

by Fantasma
5-04-04
"You´re the stupidest, ugliest and worst comic character ever. Fantasma will feature you exclusively in this short comic strip. And only here and now and never ever again."
"You´re a skinny loser with no life. Go to hell and fuck pope john paul II in his shivering ass there. Good bye."
So the stupid comic character fucked itself to death with a hammer. And that ugly fella is about to follow him.

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