All comics by Freako

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by Freako
8-25-02
I'm sorry sir, but im afraid im gonna have to right you up.
crap.
You see sir , you can't just hang here all day. This is private property.
why does this type of thing always happen to me?
Not to mention i can see your left funball.
God damnit.

 

by Freako
8-25-02
Wanna see a real miracle?
here we go again.
SHAAAZAAAAMMM!!!
Now you look really bad ass!
Not quite the look I was going for.

 

by Freako
8-25-02
AHA! Now all the robots of the world will rise up and take this puny planet as our own!
I Love your nuts and bolts. They are so smooth and shiny.
Masterful craftsmanship.

 

by Freako
8-25-02
No it doesn't.
Yes it does.
No it does't.
Yes it does.
ouch.
I believe you owe me $5.00.

 

by Freako
8-26-02
are you ready yet?
no.
now?
You are SO fired.

 

by Freako
8-26-02
JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!
WHATS my NAME?

 

by Freako
8-26-02
thats MY cross.
moron.

 

by Freako
8-26-02
Well i just got nailed and boy are my arms tired.
tough crowd.
Take my cross ...... please.

 

by Freako
10-27-02
What up doc?
Not hell.

 

by Freako
10-09-03
ring ring
ring ring
click.
Hi this is Jesus, I'm not home right now , but leave your name, number, and a short message and ill get back to you as soon as possible. please wait for the beep. BEEEEEEEEEEEP !

 

by Freako
10-09-03
Jesus?
Puff?
I didn't think you were real.
Me neither.

 

by Freako
10-09-03
So what are you in for?
Prophesizing.
What about you?
I made a boom boom.
I feel your pain.

 

by Freako
10-09-03
Hi, my name is Jesus Christ and this is Holy Jackass.
Today we are gonna be doing a little stunt I like to call , Crucifixation.

 

by Freako
3-02-04
Thanks Sandi, I'm standing here with non other than Jesus Christ, the center of all sorts of controversy in the wake of this new Mel Gibson Movie.
crap ... here we go again.
Please , Jesus, we all want to know what you thought of "The Passion of the Christ"
To tell you the truth Ted, I thought the movie was a little violent.
Is that a joke?
I don't know, Have you ever tried to eat popcorn while all your extremities are nailed to a cross?

 

by Freako
3-04-04
And now for a late breaking story. Upset by a recent movie from Mel Gibson portraying his life/death, Jesus Christ has began shooting his own film with a slightly different vision.
Father ! ... have i not suffered enough ? please .. . let me join thee in heaven. . .
JESUS ! ... thank god I found you ! . . . columbian drug lords have taken my daughter hostage and plan to kill the president, and you are the only crazy-ass, renegade cop that i can count. Are you in?
Yippee Ki Ya Mother F*cker.

 

by Freako
3-04-04
8:35 : Just outside of Heaven's pearly gates.
Ah well. Here we go again . . . another day .. another couple thousand souls .. damn . Reaping in hard.
Hi there . . . my name in Mel Gibson, I was told to head towards some sort of pearly Gates .
Now I don't care who you are, that was damn funny right there.

 

by Freako
3-05-04
They finally got ya huh?
yep ... appears like they have.
well... you had a good run ... and look at it this way, you can take a nice vacation and soak up some rays.
I guess thats one way to look at it.
Anyways . . . .Have a nice weekend Mr. Stern.
You too President Bush.

 

by Freako
3-05-04
HI ! my name is Jesus .. woo woo woo .. .. I'm gonna die for your sins. woo woo woo .. .
stop that.
I'm the son of God ... woo woo woo ... I can perform . . MIRACLES .. woo woo woo..
stop that.
I like the band Creed .. woo woo woo ...
Ok .. now you've gone too far.

 

by Freako
3-07-04
yo J-Dog what's up?
You know i hate that joke . . . nothing much here , alot of new comics having to do with me ever since that Mel Gibson movie came out.
yeah ... I have noticed that . Too bad 99% of them just plain suck ass.
now now Reaper, "Judge not, lest thee be judged"
You obviously haven't seen them yet.
HELLO !! NAILED TO A CROSS OVER HERE !!!

 

by Freako
3-23-04
9:00 am : Heaven's Starbucks.
So that's 2 medium Lattes and an toasted onion bagel. That comes out to $16.39 sir.
ummm .... damn .. see to have left my wallet in my other cloak.
ABACAREAPA !!!
That's what I like to call Heavenly Hammer punch , and if you try that again then im gonna have to ban you from the store. Thank you for shopping at Starbucks.
I think you broke my nose.

 

by Freako
3-23-04
9:13 : Outside Heaven's Starbucks.
Umm .. excuse me officer . . . what seems to be the problem?
It appears sir that you are parked in a firelane .. thats gonna be a $600 ticket.
You dare give the Reaper of souls a ticket?
As soon as you reap this ticket , Im going to go reap some donuts. . . unless you want me to reap your ass down to the reaping staton first.
You don't have to get so melodramatic.

 

by Freako
3-24-04
9:30 am : The Streets of the city.
Stupid cop , in that stupid hat, with that stupid pen and pad, writing a stupid ticket , towing my stupid car . . .
Yo buddy , I like your hoodie.
This is so friggen embarrassing.

 

by Freako
3-24-04
10:00 am : Hot Topics
Ok . . so thats one Extra large hoodie , and 1 big metal cutty looking thing. That'll be $123.45 please.
First of all , you half-wit , it is called a SCYTHE. and i brought it with me.
ok .. so minus one sharpie .. that brings your total to $120.45 .
$120 for a hoodie? You have got to be frigging kidding me ! . . . . . . fine .. . . I'll just pay . . . the . . . . . sigh . . . no wallet.
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