All comics by Jabizo

Profile

 

by Jabizo
11-09-01
Look at this place. The night sky is beautiful. Doesn't it just put you it the mood for making out?
Actually I find this place to be desolate and cold. So, no.
But just think of all the satellites that are spying on us.
'Too Hot For TV' here we come!

 

by Jabizo
11-09-01
DIE! You wretched worthless HU-MAN scum!
Hee Hee. You're so cute. I think I'll take you home.
...
Come on, you and kitty will make such good pals.
GRRR!! BE AFRAID!
Say, I could program you to do my homework for me, couldn't I?

 

by Jabizo
11-09-01
Hello, disembodied head. Won't you tell me my future.
You will live a meaningless existence and then you will die.
Will I ever find true happiness.
You will be too involved in trivial escapades to recognize it.
At least I am lucky enough to witness the release of the third Britney Spears album.
Oh yeah! I've been waiting all year for that.

 

by Jabizo
11-13-01
Well, you look like a mighty tasty morsel.
Wait! You can't eat me! Don't you know I'm an endangered secies?
Eat me and you could throw off the balance of our entire ecosystem. I'm an important link in a delicate balancing act. If you eat me there could be a chain reaction leading to your own demise.
CHOMP!
YUMMM! Survival of the fittest never tasted SO good.

 

by Jabizo
11-16-01
FEE FI FO FUM!
Yikes! The giant! I'll just grab the golden hairball hacking cat and run.
??
You idiot! You're supposed to grab ME! The hen that lays the golden eggs! Look, I've been waiting for you. I'm all packed and ready to go!
But this kitty is SO cute and cuddly. Aren't you Kitty. Ohh Yes, you are. Yes, you are. Koochie Koo.
YO! GIANT! Jack Mucus for Brains is OVER HERE!!

 

by Jabizo
11-30-01
Hey, Santa. They want you on stage. Its time to be all Jolly and whatever for the kiddies.
Ho Ho. Time to take requests for dolls and toy trucks. Ah, the innocence of childhood.
Ho Ho Ho! What do all you good boys and girls want from Santa this year?
Take it off! We wanna see some skin!
Yeah! That Milk ad got us all frisky.

 

by Jabizo
11-30-01
What are we doing floating in the sky?
We are taking a look at some of the backgrounds available at stripcreator. Have you noticed how some of them just don't seem to work well with anything.
Yeah, like what is this one. It is spooky looking but where exactly are we supposed to be?
Oh well. This is a dumb conversation. Think we can pull off a joke by the end of this strip?
I'm funny! GRRARR! TOBOR WILL CORNHO...
AAYYEE!! NOOO! We're ruined. We've been dragged into the inescapable vortex of stripcreator known as the robot ass-sex joke!!

 

by Jabizo
12-05-01
One day at the ranch...
So I says: "Them roto turbines ain't gonna generate gravitrons by themselves."
Sorry, I can't hear ya. I got a banana in my ear.

 

by Jabizo
12-06-01
Say officer, is that your nightstick or are you just happy to see me?
Honest, officer. I really thought you were challenging me to a race.
You must be bloody joking! You drive on WHAT side of the road in America

 

by Jabizo
12-06-01
Wax on wax off, young grasshopper.
I'm sick of you making me do your stupid chores. I'm not some mindless robot here to do all the stuff you're to lazy to do. I don't care if I don't know karate yet, Yer goin' down Miyagi.
Foolish boy! Experienced old man is lambasting you. You nothing without me controlling you.
Uuff, Yow! Mommy!!! I give! I GIVE! UNCLE!
That teach you not to think for self. How you like my trick with chopsticks I play on you?
OOHH!! You're insane! I think you punctured my prostate!

 

by Jabizo
12-10-01
Listen up, people. I demand to be given some better dialog when I'm used in a strip. I'm sick of repeating the same line over and over.
I can do so much more if you'll give me a chance. Why does everyone think I'm only good for one joke?!
Hey cool, there's a five dollar bill someone dropped on the sidewalk.
Must resist temptation...

 

by Jabizo
12-10-01
I can do this. I will hold out until someone offers me a more demanding role in a strip. Maybe I can still reclaim some of my dignity.
No matter how many chances I get to be part of another overused robot sex joke, I will demand better roles. I can do better.
Hey Cool! My mouth is like a giant orifice just waiting to be filled by something!
Really, really must resist temptation...

 

by Jabizo
12-10-01
Red Robot, I've come to join you on your mission to end typecasting on stripcreator. I too am fed up with people making me say the same stupid line all the time.
Really? You've been typecast too?
Just look what you get when you use the search function to find the word "sucky". See, I'm in almost every one of those strips.
Ha Ha!! This one by TheElPaso with you and Santa is hilarious!
Hey! Stop laughing, don't you see how demeaning that is to have to say all the time. You're not helping our cause.
Urp, oh sorry. *giggle* I stop for five dolla. *giggle*

 

by Jabizo
12-10-01
Why don't you go find all the characters that feel they have been typecast. Then we can put together own own strip to prove how versatile we all really are.
While I'm gone you can find us a good script to work with. And while you're looking, could you see if there's a way for me to put my arm down?
Now, who else around here is always stuck saying the same things?
It looks like you are looking for characters who feel typecast. Like me, for example. How may I help?
Get away from me you annoying blabbering paperclip. I'm this close to beating you to a pulp!
It looks like you find me so annoying that you would like to see me permanently terminated. How may I help?

 

by Jabizo
12-11-01
For some reason, people always use me to represent the devil in their strips. I'm not evil. I'm just Stan the mechanic.
What? You mean you're NOT Satan? Then what's with the pitchfork and those red horns growing out of your head?
Well, I got this pitchfork as a memento from my father. He's a tomato farmer who got a little too friendly with the goats and I'm the result.
No way! That's the lamest explaination...
He ain't lyin'!! And by criminy, you don't want to see how his sister turned out.

 

by Jabizo
12-11-01
So, you ever feel like you're being typecast?
Yeah, kinda. Whenever people show me with this nail in my head, they seem to imply that I am trying to hurt myself.
And you're not?
Didn't it ever occur to you that this might be how I get my jollies?
Ahh, No. Not when all scientific evidence suggests that it would be very painful..
Hold that thought a minute. Ooh!! Ahh! Yes, yes! Sweet camel juice YES!!!

 

by Jabizo
12-11-01
OK. I've gathered a bunch of guys who claim to be pigeon-holed in the same role. Have you found a script that lets us stretch our acting abilities?
Bad news. I found out we have no acting abilities. I mean just look at me! All I can do is stand here with this stupid grin on my face.
No! It can't be true!
And to make matters worse, some guy named Jabizo has just been using us all this time to tell lame jokes so he can post them and hope to earn approval from other stripcreators.
So we really have no control over what parts we play. We're only puppets left in hands of lunatics?!
I'm afraid so. Say, where's that guy with the hammer? I sure could use some of that good stuff right about now.

 

by Jabizo
12-14-01
Ell-i-ottt
So, you finally decided to return to earth after all these years? Say, you look different somehow. Taller maybe?
B Good! Phone Home!
No way. I remember those games you forced me to play with you. I was naive then, but now I see what you were really doing.
Please deposit 35 cents.
Stop it! I won't do that with you anymore you sicko. And get your long glowing finger away from me. Aiiee! The horrible memories are all rushing back!

 

by Jabizo
12-17-01
..won't you think about these poor starving children? Don't you realize the suffering they are going through?!
Is it too much to ask that you give just a small portion of your earnings for such a cause?!
Now hand over the money so I can feed my kids!
SHEESH!! So I'm a couple days late with my rent payment. You don't have to go all Sally Struthers on me!

 

by Jabizo
12-21-01
You are dumb!
Actually, you are dumb and I will spend the rest of the evening listing and discussing with others the ways you personify dumb.
Oh yeah?!! Well you are double dumb with a cherry on top!
No. Please understand, I am crude and horny and a little juvenile but never dumb.
Umm, I think I'll make a comic now. You are still dumb.
Ahh! What a get online community... Thanks to stripcreator I have found purpose in my life.

 

by Jabizo
12-21-01
I went to a movie last night. They showed a trailer for the next Star Wars film. And can you believe all the greekboys there actually clapped after the trailer ended!?
Well, yeah. I know some people who go to the movies just to see the Star Wars previews.
Some people really need to get a life. Its like they have a chronic nerd disease which makes them believe a fantasy world is more important than the real one..
What movie was it you saw?
The first of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy.
Whoa! That place must've been filled with Geekboy germs. Are you sure you weren't infected?!

 

by Jabizo
12-21-01
Well, Hello! Otto, old man. It has been too long since I saw you last. What are you doing in these parts?
I was thinking about getting a tattoo. Like the one you have of the devil-faced rotten tomato. Olive, my girlfriend, says I need to find my wild side so...
Dude! Getting a tattoo? Like that's so last year! I know a much cooler way for you to get wild and I guarantee it will leave it's mark on you too... LULU! GET OVER HERE AND BRING YOUR TOOL!!
Hold on! Is this something my girlfriend will approve of? I'm not agreeing to anything that she won't also be into. Olive may be wild, but she has standards...

 

by Jabizo
12-28-01
Ahhh! Another successful Christmas thanks to my glowing red mutant shnoz.
Come on Rudulph, it was a team effort. All the reindeer worked together to get the job done.
Well, no thanks to Blitzen. How long did it take us to drag him out of Amsterdam?
And just what where you doing for so long at Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch?
Oh you know Mikey. He just loves to pet the animals.
Hmm, that reminds me.. I wonder why that monkey he had was pleading so badly to come with us.

 

by Jabizo
12-28-01
Boo Hoo! I have a horrible case of the post-Christmas blues. And my crying is only assisting my own inevitable demise when winter ends.
Tell me about it! It's just a matter of days before I am stripped of my colorful ornaments and throw out on the curb to die a slow pitiful death.
What do ya say we pack ourselves in ice and ship ourselves to Greenland to make a better life together?
Its just so crazy it might work!
This box is nice and roomy but are you sure this is ice you packed in here with us? I feel kinda weird.
Did you mean ice like water ICE?! Oops, I thought you meant... Ahh.. Whee!! My star helps me float over those puffy marshmallows!

 

by Jabizo
1-03-02
GAG!
Look! Inside poop is tuna! Ha Ha.
Nuts! I pooped. Isn' I Kool?
GAG!

 

by Jabizo
1-03-02
Scram, Beav. I just picked up this new magazine and I want to read it by myself for a while. Go downstairs and annoy Dad.
Gee, Wally. Are you reading it for a homework assignment? Why do I have to leave?
Yes. I am learning about the female anatomy. Now leave my alone before I whop you good.
Golly, you seem to have a stick or somethin' poking out of your pants.
Cue canned laughter.
And I'll beat you with it if you don't get out of this room!
Gosh. Golly, Gee Whiz. Why does your magazine has my name on it!

 

by Jabizo
1-03-02
I've created a new dance that is sure to sweep the nation! Let's get jiggy..
o/ Its time to get mad with Tobor. He's wicked strong.
Now throw down your hands and reach for your shlong.
You cover your eyes. He's more then you can take.
You feel used and abused in the morning when you wake.
Everybody in the house - Do the TOBOR! o/

 

by Jabizo
1-04-02
Hello, snowman. I think I will name you Mr. Slushballs. Won't you come alive like Frosty does on TV?
I hate you Mr. Slushballs!

 

by Jabizo
1-08-02
That's funny. I coulda sworn I left my rotor turbines right here.
Sorry, Gramps. I'm afraid I ate them. It seems I'm always hungry and I will eat anything near me.
Dagnabit! This has gotta stop! I'll lock up everything in the shed so you can't get at it. Now you'll just have to wait til I feed ya.
Why thank you, you do look mighty appetizing.
Why?! Why must everything taste like chicken?

 

by Jabizo
1-09-02
One day in a bookstore..
Excuse me, Could you show me the books on how to find guys who don't run at the first sign that their girlfriend wants a long-term relationship?
Are you trying to ask me out?
Umm.. no. You work here, right? Do you sell any books like that here?
I don't think we do. Maybe you should buy yourself a puppy if all you care about is commitment.
OK, I'm sure of it now. All men share one stupid, universally connected brain.

 

by Jabizo
1-14-02
Dudes! Money ain't the answer to all your problems. Look at the big picture. The more you have, more stuff you want!
True happiness can't be bought. Sometimes it takes real effort to find pleasures that go beyond instant gratification.
OK. I said what you told me to. Now where's the X-BOX you promised?
I hated doing this, but its the only way I can reach these kids nowadays

 

by Jabizo
1-15-02
With me share of the money I think I'll get myself a new ball.
Oh, come on! Think bigger. You're getting a ton of money! Can't you think of something more exciting?
Hmm.. OK. How about I trade in this ball for a motorcycle. I'll be known as DemonDogonWheels!
That's more like it. But can't you imagine something even bigger!
Fine. I'll get myself a massive steamroller. I'll be known as PsychoDeathDog flattening all who so much as look in my direction! Mwah Ha Ha!!
Uhh, heh heh... A new ball. What a great idea..

 

by Jabizo
1-17-02
Wee Willie Winkie runs thru the town Upstairs and downstairs in his nightgown.
Rapping at the windows, Crying thru the locks,
Are the children all in bed? For now it's eight o'clock.
That's my story and I'm sticky to it.

 

by Jabizo
1-17-02
Ben met Anna, Made a hit
Ya wanna go out. I've got tickets to the Jerry Seinfeld performance tonight.
Hmm.. OK, but don't touch me.
Neglected beard
That Jerry was great, huh? Let's makeout in my car now.
You smell and your whiskers have bits of kitty litter stuck in them. Loved Jerry, but you disgust me!
Ben - Anna Split
Burma Shave?
It'll take a lot more than that to redeem you, Bub.

 

by Jabizo
1-17-02
Mommy? Will you read me a story?
Sorry honey, the evaporated poison isn't ready yet. Please try again later.
Daddy, Daddy! Mommy is talking all funny! It scares me.
Don't worry. That pesky rabbit won't find us if we just smash the cabbage between our thighs.
Ohh Boo hoo hoo!! Non-Sequitur Donkey, what have you done to my family?!!
Jello makes any meal better. Film at eleven.

 

by Jabizo
1-21-02
I want to be beautiful for the big dance tonight. Will you help me?
Look, here's the way it's gonna work: You promise me your soul and I'll get you anything you want.
What!? Why do I have to give you something? Isn't it enough just to see me happy?
I'm a busy man. Do we have a deal or not?
Hmm.. Anything, huh? I've always dreamed of being the Apocalyptic Martha Stewart - teaching mutants how to turn their radioactive squash into a lovely centerpiece. If you can do that, we have a deal.
GAAHH!! You vile women of detestable suggestions. I will have no part of you.

 

by Jabizo
1-24-02
Rah! Rah!
Go team!
If I can just make this winning shot then maybe I won't have to play on the non-skins team next time.

 

by Jabizo
1-24-02
OK class. Who can tell me why I got stuck with so many mutants in my class this year?
Oh oh! Pick me! Pick me! Or I will cast me death ray on you!
Look! I have both hands raised, so you have to pick me! If that's not enough, I've got 17 more in my locker.
Uh oh. I think my brain is trying to escape again. Good thing I applied that plastisizing lotion to my scalp this morning.
Um, Mr. Teacher, I have to go to the bathroom or I'm gonna take a dump of ash right on the floor again!

 

by Jabizo
1-24-02
This joke stolen from Conan O'Brien
Can you believe George Lucas was really going to let members of NSYNC appear in the next Star Wars film?
Well, maybe he was just trying to get C3P0 to appear less gay.

 

by Jabizo
1-25-02
Pleased to meet you Maria. I don't know how to communicate with my own 7 children, but I can blow a whistle real good.
I would love to help with the children. I think I am falling in love with you but I am a nun! I am in a predicament!
Maria has taught us all how to sing. Therefore, we are performing as a family before a whole bunch of people. Including some bad men who want our Daddy to fight in the war.
Oh, how humiliating to have wear these rags made from the bedroom curtains!
Run from the Nazis children. Climb every mountain!
No way! Carry me!

 

by Jabizo
1-25-02
Yo! I'm a wild rookie cop. I do things my own way.
Yes J. That is why you have been chosen to join me in saving the world from an alien menace.
Aliens are all around us. Most are harmless. But this huge secret organization is here to watch them all and stop the bad ones.
What? What did I do?
We have defeated the huge alien insectoid dude. Prepare to lose all your memory of any of this.
Until the sequel my friend.

 

by Jabizo
1-29-02
Hello? I am having problems with my new computer. When I turn it on the screen never shows anything.
Did you turn the monitor on?
Oh.. where do I do that? Say, before I forget, I tried to use this free AOL disc I got but I don't have any mail. Isn't it supposed to tell me I've got mail?
Well first you need to turn on the monitor. Then, have you connected your modem to a phone line or cable?
What language are you speaking?
I'm sorry. There's not much I can do. You see, all your problems are due to 'One D Ten T' errors. Do you understand? 1D10T!!

 

by Jabizo
1-31-02
Morning, sweetie. Would you like some breakfast?
Thanks, but I'll just have some toast.
At least let me spice it up a little. Here, try this.
Mmmm! Delicious! Yummy! Savory! Tasty! Scrumptious! Delectible!
I take it you like my synonym toast?
It's wonderful! Incredible! Stupendous! Great! Amazing! Awesome!

 

by Jabizo
2-06-02
Oh Great levitating disembodied head, what inspiring revelation do you have for me today?
A foul stench of soiled fibers drifts this way.
Oh no. What does this cryptic message mean? Something bad is going to happen? What should I do?
Gag! Open a window or something I can hardly stand it.
What do your symbolic rantings mean? Is the window a symbol of my means of escaping a horrible fate?!
Look! The puppy pooped behind the sofa and it stinks to high heaven in here! Don't you smell it?!

 

by Jabizo
2-06-02
Help! Help! I'm drowning!
Ha ha. Don't be silly. You don't breathe air so you won't drown.
Oh, right... . . . Help! Help! I'm lost in the middle of the ocean!
No. Silly, you're in a swimming pool.
Oops, sorry.... . . Help! Help! I'm in danger but the manner is unclear!
Stupid paranoia droids. Why can't they find their own recreational area.

 

by Jabizo
2-06-02
I can sense something is wrong here. Does someone know my secret? I feel like I am being watched!
KER-TRANS-FORM!
WHA.. Oh No! Decepticons!
That's right! We know you have the secret schematics to the control center of Gobotron!
Egads! I KNEW IT! You're NOT decepticons! You're Renegades from the Gobots! You'll never get away with this!

 

by Jabizo
2-06-02
Stop right there. I am taking comic #55555 hostage. I demand to win every comic contest or I'll shoot all the other geeks trying to nab this prized comic. One dies every second until you comply..
Never! We do not negotiate we terrorists! Besides, you're too late. This is comic 55556
Well then, I suppose I should just terminate this hostage instead, right now then.
Fine! Whatever! Like we really cared about keeping it anyway. In fact, we let you have it.
*Sob* I have no life and everybody hates me.
Why am I even here? Oh, right. I'm trying to avoid doing anything even remotely productive.

 

by Jabizo
2-13-02
The postal carrier is sure to love this gift. I'll just leave it by the mailbox as a nice thank you for being a good serviceman.
Stop right there. I am Ponch. The immortal enforcer of Boxing Day! You dishonor my Holiday.
What!? Get outta my way you hooligan. Go harrass your Grandma or something.
I must uphold the true traditions of Boxing Day! Which means we must get naked and beat each other senseless using our fists as weapons.
So all these years Dad was telling the truth... and I just thought he was an insane sadomasichist.
Look, the Holiday is on the Calendar in Canada, Britain and Australia. What else could it be about?

 

by Jabizo
2-28-02
I've come from the future to protect you from the Terminator. If you die all humanity is screwed. Speaking of which, I want to bang you.
So.. some invincible Cyborg will be here any minute to kill me? I should be fearing for me life but what the heck, let's go crazy!
Must terminate Sarah Connor.
Ahh! Ohh! Don't stop now! ..Did you hear something?
Year 2029
Ha ha! Those Hu-Mans were so stupid. They didn't even notice when I drove thru the bedroom wall with a semi.
*SOB* Now I have no purpose in life.

 

by Jabizo
2-28-02
Diapers, Formula, Baby clothes, toys! All my money is going to support this little guy.
In an effort to reach the new young target audience, MTV is looking for participants for their new show: The Real Cradle.
Say, what's this? Perhaps this baby could earn his own way..
Nine new borns compete for 1 million dollars by living in a nursery together. Their every moment recordered on camera.
You, my baby are sure to win this! You'll be the goofy clown baby everyone loves. Let's practice your soon to be famous squishy fart trick.
Each week the viewing audience votes to kick out one baby they find ugly or especially annoying or whatever...

Showing page 1.

Next »