All comics by JustPete

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by JustPete
3-17-06
Ey! What's in the bag?
Your mum.
Yeh? Well you ain't even got no shoes.
I got shoes.
Well I got your mum.

 

by JustPete
3-17-06
Jon Approaches 'The Line'
Ey, you ain't even had my mum, she's too good for you.
Yeh.... But I have! She's a right bicycle.
Jon Crosses 'The Line'
Ey, gay, if my mum's a bicycle your mum's sum tricycle.
At least my mum din't need no stabilizers when you ride her. I'm gonna give you mum WD40 for 'er birthday so she don't squeal so much.
'The Line' Is A Dot To Jon Nowadays...
Dude. You know she's in for hip replacement. Cut it out.
Sorry, did I go too far?............... But you know who wore that hip out, right?...Forgive me, I had to say it..

 

by JustPete
3-17-06
Hello, Welcome To Strip Creator, we're default characters
You won't use us and you'll come to hate us
Everyone knows our annoying little faces, except what they don't know is-
-I'm secretly a man in a school uniform.
Hello, Welcome to Strip Creator, I'm the default character. You may be happy to hear Strip Creator now operates a 'no fiddling' policy.

 

by JustPete
3-17-06
'Bug Club' was post-modern ultra-violence film starring Brad Pitt and a small psychotic Bug.
You hated your life, so you created...ME... Tyler Durden
Wait...that means...that we're one and the same person.
In it's first week of release it garnered around over £2.64 in box office takings.
I'm everything you've ever wanted to be, I look like you want to look, I fuck like you want to fuck. You ARE Tyler Durden.
So the whole purpose of your being is that you are the superior alter-ego of a shittily drawn bug?
Brad Pitt's Agent was fired two days after the filming of this movie was completed. But his body was never found.

 

by JustPete
3-17-06
Bacon-Man And Goth-Boy meet at the watercooler of their homogonous strip-lighted office to indulge in some light flirting...
Hey Bacon, how is it down in Marketing?
Of yeah! It's sweet, Alan, real sweet... Say, I was wondering if you wanted to go for a drink some time?
Wait! Are you still decievingly tasty yet deviously fattening?
I try my best! I go gym! You can put me in salad! Salad i tells yer! Erm, Leaves and shit. Ermmm, Saaaalaaaaad!
Jeez- Dave from Sales warned me about you. Scum.
Oh Bumrashers! I'm gonna have to call Lettuce and Tomato again... Wish I didn't have to Three-Way with those guys every weekend....

 

by JustPete
3-17-06
Yet another dwarf arrives at the Adult Education Centre to train to be a real-life Pirate
Yarrrrggh! I'm here for the Pirate Class!
Pirate class? Oh no, this is a PILATES class? You must have spelt it wrong. In your head. PILATES.
Did you say........ "ME HEARTIES"?! Yar- harrrghh, t'was but crafty Pirate test!
No test dickhead, fuck off.
I swear it said on the advert....
Bloody dwarves, always want to be a bleedin' pirate.

 

Magic Moments No. 1: Christmas stories from your elder loved ones.
... and that was the last real scat movie I ever made. though the market's really opening up these days, if you excuse the pun. Pass your old Gran a figgy pudding would you dear?
by JustPete, 3-17-06

 

by JustPete
3-18-06
Jon tries to warm himself to his fellow Damnedees
So- err, what are you in Hell for?
All sorts of stuff. Murder, drugs, robberies, I even spray-painted a cow once.
Damn, that's pretty nasty man. But that's what I don't understand, I'm only here for reading The Viz....Erm, Bunnyman?
Luckily...
I touch children.
A friend!

 

by JustPete
3-24-06
Johnny embraced his death as forcefully as life had rejected him.
Between extremes I find no rest in mediocrity. If I cannot live, the I must.....
Die
He left a note for his former partner. The only love of his life.
Dear Giles, I will be gone by the time you read this letter I have to ...go. Don't let them say I did it for love, I didn't, it was just an infatuation, I am a mere pawn to my emotions.
Although he had never completely understood it. Giles had always admired Johnny's dark humour. A true testament to his character.
Johnny...gone, taken from me by his cruel self love and passion. The same passion that he took his own life with...
Heehee, 'pawn' lolz.

 

by JustPete
4-12-06
A Pro-Choice Robot attacks a lonely Christian on London's busy streets.
Bluhuhuh- gimme your shoes- bluhuhuh
Oh Jesus! Save Me! I'm gonna die!
In a puff of smoke and expensive lighting effect the saviour of mankind appears! Responding to the boy's cries.
Arggghhhh! The Power Of Christ!
Take this Christian-threatening Robot Monster!
Well, if we put that bit in The Bible, people whould come to church for the wrong reasons.

 

by JustPete
5-15-06
P.C McLougherty and The Magic Pencil are on a routine school visit.
I'm The Magic Pencil, children.
Today children, I'm going to tell you about being safe on the street. Watch the magic pencil write it.
They were a team.
S...A...F...E...O...N S...T...R...E...E...T
Never go anywhere with strangers, or stationary you don't know. It's very dangerous. Watch the magic pencil write it....
They were a partnership.
B..E...H...I...N...D....B...I...K...E.... S...H...E...D...S...F...I...V...E... M...I...N...U...T...E...S
Any Questions?

 

by JustPete
5-15-06
Magic Moment Two: The Media Manipulates yet another decent, desparate ninja.
!
Violent crime is up 23% due to it's high profitability...in other news, the UK's huge debt mountain, how will you scale it?

 

by JustPete
5-30-06
Brunp is waiting for his date, his first in years.
'How are you', 'Nice To Meet You', what else did the book say? What did it say?! Where is she?!
Scared, bored and turned on he finds a pornographics book containing pictures of PVC, a kind of fake leather.
Wow, this month's gone all out... I'll just release some of that tension. Like in 'Something About Mary'!....
Slightly exposed and caught..... mid-chapter, Brunp's meagre dating skills fail him, again.
Erm, nice to erm-meet?.... shit! Would you like to take this somewhere more quiet?

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