All comics by LockeDown

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by LockeDown
7-09-02
Did you hear? Britney Spears is getting her own TV show. It might even go worldwide.
Hmmm.....
Think about it. No matter where you go, her face is there.

 

by LockeDown
7-09-02
Jane wanders into a graveyard at night.
Hello, I'm Jesus.
Hi.
THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!!!
Um....
Can you get me down from here please? This gig sucks.
After that last comment....no.

 

by LockeDown
7-09-02
Crime: Speeding
I didn't see the sign, it went by too quick. You should make some slower signs.
Crime: DUI
You can't prove that I was drinking...Dammit, I was just holding this for my girlfriend. Go ask her, she's in the trunk.
Crime: Stolen Vehicle
Hey, I bought this car with my own money. I work goddamnit. Want some weed?
You know it.

 

by LockeDown
7-09-02
Sup fools!? This is the show that brings chills to all the hot ladies out there!
Word like a mothafucka!
Like my trick Susie, she was the max at giving me head!!!
You weren't the only one!!!
I see you baby! I know you want this right here! 14 inches of titanium steel for you babe!!!
Egh.

 

by LockeDown
7-09-02
The bot introduce themselves.
Ok, let's get this show started. They call me Ray 3000, but you can call me Ray.
My name's FTX5000, but my buddies call me Flip. And my ho's call me great!
Hey, shut it, fag. I make the bragging in this show.
At least I'm not the one who enjoys watching Friends.
You got a problem with Friends, bitch!? You can kiss my ass!
Yeah, your gay ass would love that.

 

by LockeDown
7-09-02
Today, my guest is Fransiskos. He's yo classic nerd.
Hey, I resent that.
Resent my ass.
I'm gonna kick your ass, that's what I'm gonna do.
And what is it with you and asses? Heh heh heh...
I will hunt you down,and kill your whole family.

 

by LockeDown
7-09-02
Ok, Daniel-san, you can do this....
Hwa! Kwo!!! Super Cha!!!!
Ahh, Karate. The one thing where, using only your bare hands and feet, you can make the crappiest movies in existence.

 

by LockeDown
7-10-02
Franziskos was watching TV one day, when there was a knock on the door.
Oh yeah, like that...harder, harder, HARDER, YEAH!
Dammit! I'm busy!
Uhh, who are you?
Martha Stewart.
And why are you here?
I need a place to sleep. Target's out of business.

 

by LockeDown
7-10-02
Did you hear about what happened to Ralph?
No, what happened?
They caught him in the other room fucking a donkey.
Ahh, that's not a big deal.
I do it all the time.
Let's go, babe.

 

by LockeDown
7-10-02
Where the hell am I?
Today, 313 people died of drowning today, because they have ice cream, ax.
Huh? What the fuck!? I'm the donkey now!?
Hi, I'm Martha Stewart.
Martha, would you kill me please!!!! And bake me some houses.
I knew I shouldn't have given him that plant....

 

by LockeDown
7-10-02
How come we don't have sex anymore?
You know I still love you.
I'm talking to you Flip.
Uhh, I gotta go.

 

by LockeDown
7-10-02
Wait, why are you leaving me!? Don't you love me!?
Not really. I just loved the sex.
All you did was shake, you didn't even have any technique!
Which is why I'm leaving you. I need someone who can appreciate my superior sex.

 

by LockeDown
7-10-02
So, Flip, what's crackin?
I got an old ho begging me to take her back.
I know how you feel, my man. I had that prob many times. Why do the 'mature' ladies always want more?
Huh?
Haha, I meant old as in I knew her a long time ago.

 

by LockeDown
7-10-02
So, Flip, did you think it over?
Yeah, and I made a decision.
I want to watch a different channel.
Minutes later.... Flip watches robot porn....
Go Go Gadget Dick!
This is more like it.

 

by LockeDown
7-10-02
So, that's about it for our show! Flip has left early, something to do with his TV. Well, I was thinking of ending it with a bang...
Wow, and I still got one more of these babies..

 

by LockeDown
7-10-02
Another day in Gabe's near useless life...
::sighs:: Tycho's off playing with that monkey loser...
Hi, I'm horny and wet.
::cough:: Uhh, what'd you say?
Let's go fuck in those bushes.
Haha, this'll teach Tycho.
Well, first I need some cash.

 

by LockeDown
7-11-02
Hey Bobot.
I'm busy, leave me alone.
Locke walks away.
Whatever...
Ok....he left. Now for the human sacrifice.
Excellent, my son. Better yet, make it him.

 

by LockeDown
7-11-02
So Locke? How's it hanging?
Is something wrong with you?
You eat any good pie lately?
....
Would you mind if I killed you?
This doesn't have anything to do with me stealing your underwear, does it?

 

by LockeDown
7-11-02
Why do you want to kill me?
Maybe because I'm bored. You never play TimeSplitters with me anymore.
Maybe it's because it's old and outdated?
I'm still gonna kill you.
Don't walk away from me! I sti-Ahh, fuck it.

 

by LockeDown
7-11-02
Whoops, last one should've been named Bobot's Devotion #4. Sorry.
Would you please stop following me around?
No.
I'll give you a dollar.
How 'bout you give me head? I'm not gonna stop.
Heh. you still have a lot to learn...

 

by LockeDown
7-11-02
I'm sorry daddy, he's too cunning.
Yes, the force is strong within him....
....Are you copying off Star Wars?
Yeah. This is hell. I must make myself look as scary as possible.
That's not scary at all.
Oh, and you define scary? You little mistake.

 

by LockeDown
7-11-02
A prostitute! Heathen, leave the house of God! Sex is for the devil!!!
...
Ahh, my child...come here.

 

by LockeDown
7-11-02
Hey, I got a statement from the IRS. Apparently, I haven't paid my taxes since 1967.
Wow, and you're still broke?
Eh. They must have made a mistake. They work for the country. They must be worse then people that work for the state.
They should learn to correct their erotic ways.
Erotic? Don't you mean erratic?
I dunno. In each case, I blame Bush.

 

by LockeDown
7-11-02
Wow, this show's dying fast. nothing to talk about.
Word!
Can you please stop talking like that?
Hey, screw you dawg! And that's not an offer.
Shut up.
No.

 

by LockeDown
7-15-02
Look Rachel...I need to tell you...I love you.
Look, I'm just not rea-Oh, fuck this, I want you in me!
Yeah, baby!
Wow, Friends holds a whole new meaning for me.

 

by LockeDown
7-15-02
Hey, there's Jesus!
Thou shalt not steal. Unless they deserve it.
Did anyone know Jesus is here in the back spouting out bible crap?
Thou shalt not commit adultery. Exclusively.
Do unto others as you would have done unto you.
...Could I give someone head?

 

by LockeDown
7-15-02
Hey, Jenni. It's me, Flip. From high school?
Hey, I remember you! You were that creep in the back row.
You know me so well. Wanna go out?
Why would I go out with you?
Talked to any vacuum cleaners lately?
Oh that's sick!

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