All comics by Mack_J

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by Mack_J
9-29-02
I love happy endings...

 

by Mack_J
9-29-02
Crush! Kill! Destroy!
You sure you wouldn't rather sleep with me?
Red Robot is not for the sexing of Hu-mons. Besides, aren't you dating someone?
Well, it's not really cheating if he isn't really alive.
?

 

by Mack_J
9-29-02
You're on Tiny White Kid's turf now, bitch!
You think I'm scared of you? I'm a fucking ET with a ray gun, bitch. Ain't nobody badder than me!
Holy shit, behind you!
Yeah, like I'm falling for that, asshole...
Holy crap! Clippy!
Where my bitches at!?!

 

by Mack_J
9-29-02
DIE DIE DIE!!!
Wait! Why are you doing this!?!
Well, I don't know, I've been feeling kind of down and...
Was that your mother that you were talking to on the phone eariler?
My mother is a saint!
Alright! Sorry! Touchy subject!

 

by Mack_J
9-29-02
And now, a public service message from "Without Warning". With a specially grant from the Chubb Group.
Hi kids! I'm Danny the Demon!
And I'm Satan, Lucifer, the Black One, the Source of All Lies, Mephisto, Old Scratch, and many many more...
Remember kids, if you do something unfunny long enough, people will like you.
Yes, it's a time tested and proven method for success!
Isn't that right, special guest star Jimmy Fallon.
You bet it is, Master!

 

by Mack_J
9-29-02
So I was over on Primrose St and...
Did you even notice that Primrose sounds like "rim job"?
Are you hitting on me?
Well duh!

 

by Mack_J
9-29-02
Oh... I'm so depressed...
What happened to your girlfriend?
She's right here in this box.
Let me guess, your mother didn'lt like her.
You'd think I'd learn to stop bringing her up......

 

by Mack_J
9-29-02
Nature is pretty peaceful and cool, I'm glad we went on this camping trip...
Me too... Oh! I forgot something back at the car, I'll be right back.
Ah... nature. It's so relax...OW!!! A bee stung me!
Burn nature burn!!!

 

by Mack_J
9-29-02
In a local franchise of an oddly familiar multi-national pizza franchise.
Thank you for calling Pizza Barn. Can I get your order?
Yeah, I'd like a large pepperoni!
Okay, I need your social security number, blood type, and the names and adresses of the last 3 people you've had sex with...
Sure, no problem.
Oh, and your phone number.
Oh, I don't really like to give that out...

 

by Mack_J
9-29-02
Hey, remember when I died for your sins? I thought that was pretty cool for me to do...
And then I came back and left a message of peace and...
Okay! Okay! You're great, but that was like 2000 years ago! Can I do something other then praise you every moment of my life?
So anyway me and Peter were talking to these lepers and... hey! Where are you going?

 

by Mack_J
9-30-02
Can I give you some sex?
Let me think about that...
Maybe just a little.

 

by Mack_J
9-30-02
Oh no! A monster! I must transform.
SUPER-MEGA-OTAKU-HYPER-NINJA-MONKEY-DEATH-CAR!!!
Screw this...

 

by Mack_J
9-30-02
It looks safe.
I hope you're right...

 

by Mack_J
9-30-02
WE MUST CRUSH ALL THE HU-MONS!
We already did.
I feel empty inside.

 

by Mack_J
9-30-02
I LIVE TO CRUSH THE HU-MONS!!!
But sometimes I wonder if it's all worth it...
I crush and crush and at the end of the day... I'm so lonely.
Oh god... why does no one love me?
Maybe because you crush them?
Oh right...

 

by Mack_J
9-30-02
Hello, and welcome all of you to the first ever reader mail.
Our first letter comes from Mike via IRC. Mike asks "why is your comic called Without Warning?"
Well, it doesn't really mean anything.
Actually, it's sort of stupid...
And we're clear!
Anyone in my path to the catering table will be crushed.

 

by Mack_J
9-30-02
This sucks... I'm still depressed, and now I'm stuck babysitting my little cousin...
Cwush Aww Hoo-mon!
We can't, they're all dead!
... Cwush aww wobots?
Oh, Sarah's gonna kill me.

 

by Mack_J
9-30-02
There's only one solution to my sadness! I must rebuild humanity. It's either that or learn to love myself.
Go ahead, get it out of your system!
*snicker* Love yourself...

 

by Mack_J
9-30-02
Rebuild humainty! Are you crazy!?! What about wars, pollution, crime, and death?!?!
Yeah, you're right...
There's NO WAY we can miss out on that stuff!
You're an odd little robot.

 

by Mack_J
9-30-02
Well, I guess if you're set on this thing I can't stop you. How are you gonna do it anyway?
Well, we could do some reading and...
5 minutes later...
Doodley-doodley-doodley-doodley...
Stop that, you're ruining the effect!
Wow, that was a lot easier than I thought it would be.
Yes, thank God for plot contrivances.

 

by Mack_J
9-30-02
This is just what I needed to relax and recuperate! A night out at a dance club! Huey Lewis was right, it's hip to be square!
Hey there Red Robot, can I buy you a drink?
NO, BUT YOU CAN DO ME THE PLEASURE OF BEING CRUSHED!
Wait! I mean yes! Damn reflexes...

 

by Mack_J
10-01-02
Hey, what's Mack short for anyway?
Mackintosh.
Like the compu...
No.
But...
No.

 

by Mack_J
10-01-02
Sorry I yelled at you like that... I'm not used to social situations where I'm not killing people...
Don't worry about it.
So you want to head back to my place for a little... plug-and-play?
Sadly, my programming does not contain techniques to give females pleasure...
You and every other guy I've dated...

 

by Mack_J
10-01-02
This is a nice apartment you have here.
Yeah, but you have to get the full tour.
...and this is the bedroom.
So what is it that Hu-mons do in bedrooms?
010011110110100 000100000011001 110110111101100 100001000000111 100101100101011 100110010000100 000000!!!

 

by Mack_J
10-01-02
Nothing like a long night of hot sweaty sex.
I don't think I've ever been so wet. You really know how to get me going...
Are you okay? You're awful quiet...
...oilcan...

 

by Mack_J
10-02-02
So I says, "Well, them rotor turbines ain't gonna generate gravitons by themselves!"
Haha!
...
You bitch!

 

by Mack_J
10-03-02
Mmm...
Oh...
Oh! You wascaly wabbit!
I thought we agreed no more cartoons before bedtime.
I'm dethpicable...

 

by Mack_J
10-03-02
I don't understand this show... the plot makes no sense, the characters are all undefined, and the soundtrack makes my head hurt.
Honey, you're watching the test pattern.
Actually it's "Will & Grace."
Well, I'll be, you're right.

 

by Mack_J
10-03-02
Godzilla waiting for a bus.
Oh great... here comes another fan to embarass me in public.
He'll probably scream and wail and want an autograph. God I don't really want to deal with this...
Hey, you're Gamera right?
Uncultured swine.

 

by Mack_J
10-03-02
I'm going to go organize some books.
Into a book rebellion?
One that will rise up to smite the magazine regime?
No, by title.
Oh...

 

by Mack_J
10-04-02
I know I'm not the most devout Christian, but I needed someone to turn to.
My life has no meaning! I'm alone and unloved in the universe!
Your cable modem going down does not count as a crisis of faith.
*sob*

 

by Mack_J
10-04-02
I get quite grouchy while delivering.
Say something... come on... just say something.... I dare you.
Thanks for the pizza.
Fuck you, you bastard!
What?
I said "have a nice evening!"

 

by Mack_J
10-04-02
I get quite grouchy while delivering.
Say something... come on... just say something.... I dare you.
Thanks for the pizza.
Fuck you, you bastard!
What?
I said "have a nice evening!"

 

by Mack_J
10-05-02
I'm taking a mind enhancing drug I ordered off of an infomercial.
Does it work?
Well, I just realized I should stop buying things off of television.
Eureka!

 

by Mack_J
10-05-02
Staring at my chest for half an hour does not constitute "Breast Cancer Awareness."
Says you!

 

by Mack_J
10-07-02
Well, it's late so I'm gonna get some sleep.
Oh, you with your silly sleeping behavior. I never sleep and I'm fine.
Yeah, like you're always sharp in the morning...
I have no idea what you mean.
Morning.
Erg. Need coffee.
I'm a walrus!! RAAAAR!!!

 

by Mack_J
10-07-02
Hi there. I'm Mack from Without Warning. You might have noticed that from now on WW is not numbered.
Well... that's because there's an automatic counter that does that for me, so I don't need to keep track how many I've made manually.
But it has nothing to do with you messing the numbering up 3 or 4 times...
Um, no.

 

by Mack_J
10-07-02
The one thing that bugs me about this comic series is that no matter the content you're always pointing in the last panel...
But for the rest of the comic you're completely immobile.
You're just paranoid.

 

by Mack_J
10-07-02
I think Satan's been speaking to me...
What?!
...but his voice sounds a lot like my roommate, and he speaks to me in my head... from a direction that sounds alot like the vent connected to my roommate's room.
I think that's probably just your roommate.
Oh, hey roomy.
Hey man.

 

by Mack_J
10-07-02
Oh no! That building is on fire!
Never fear! Dollar Man is here! I'll go up the fire escape to save them!
Go up the fire escape? Shouldn't you use some amazing techno-gagetry to blow open a wall or something?
Well I'm not Bruce Wayne, lady... I can't afford all those bataranags and bat bombs and batapults...
Well that's alr... Wait, Batman is Bruce Wayne?!?
Um... no?

 

by Mack_J
10-07-02
You know how I hate bees... well one landed near me at work today...
Oh sheesh. Did you smash it?
I was about to but then I got to thinking about reincarnation. I mean, that bee could be my grandfather in his next life...
Uhh... right. So you let it go?
No. I smashed it. No way I'm gonna let my gandpappy live his life out as a stinking bee...

 

by Mack_J
10-07-02
The lord taketh...
AND?
...and that's it.

 

by Mack_J
10-08-02
Did you meet the guy I'm dating?
Him?! He's a... well he's... b...
I can't believe you're being like this. Just because he's different then us...
Well I never thought you'd date one of THEM.
What's wroung with him?
Some people just aren't very accepting.

 

by Mack_J
10-08-02
The comic's name isn't important. Fuck the name!
Really? Can I?
Note to self: Be careful with word choice around pantsless people.

 

by Mack_J
10-11-02
I think I drank to much at Ted Kennedy's bash... I really need this... ahh....
Dum de dum de dume de... AHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!
What the hell was that?!?!

 

by Mack_J
10-11-02
Hey guys! I'm back from the store, I bought more beer...
Guys?
Where'd everyone go?

 

by Mack_J
10-11-02
Rubber chicken?
No.
Joy-buzzer?
No.
Fine...
Take your fake poop with you too...

 

by Mack_J
10-11-02
Storm Watch
Storm Watch
Storm Watch

 

by Mack_J
10-11-02
*click*
*click*
Do I have to look at ALL of your vacation slides...
Well, you don't HAVE to but... Oh! Here's me with the 4 Horsemen of the Apocolypse!

 

by Mack_J
10-22-02
Hey Mack.
Howdy. What's with the knife?
Well, I was just brushing up on my bible and I came to the part about sacrificing asses.
Yeah, and?
Oh like I didn't see that coming...

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