All comics by MadMan

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by MadMan
10-05-01
As Redfish searches for SeaWeed
Dude, can I go with ya, huh! Can I, CAN I, HUH?
Now you know it could be dangerous!
Bluefish tries to convince him
I can hold my own. What about that Striped Bass...I kicked his ASS!
Yeah Bluefish, but there's Sharks in THESE waters!
Not knowing the horror that awaits
heh...heh...heh...heh...
I aint afraid o' no Shark! I'll spot him a mile away, sneak up on him, and BEAT HIM DOWN!

 

by MadMan
10-05-01
Can things get any worse?
C'mon Yo! I got your back!
It's not MY back I'm worried about!

 

by MadMan
10-05-01
Meanwhile...
Let's go already, I'm starvin!
I got a better idea...
...let's wait til they score, THEN TAKE THEIR STASH!
THEN WE'LL EAT 'EM! That'll teach 'em a lesson...
...come round our turf lookin fer SeaWeed, Huh?
Hey wait a minute...I SMELL SUMTIN FISHY!

 

by MadMan
10-05-01
Hey lil' fish! Wut'cha doin round here, you lost or sumtin?
Wadda ya want? We got everything ya need!
AND YOU'RE GONNA GET IT, TOO! MUAHAHAHAHAAA!
D-OH!

 

by MadMan
10-05-01
Redfish was able to get away, while Bluefish...
Hahahahahaaa! Yer fast I'll give ya that! But ya can't beat ALL OF US!
Le'see wut'cha got, DICKNOSE!
I ate ya moms las' nite!
Where mah Dawgfish at?
Bluefish calls out to his homeboy OC'.
YO, OC'!!!
Wut up, B?

 

by MadMan
10-05-01
This should be fun!
Yeah, let's eat!
I could go for a few legs!
LUNCHTIME!
What will our SeaWeed heads do?
You guys think yo' shizznit smells nice, huh?
TURN AROUND, BEE-OTCH!

 

by MadMan
10-05-01
Someone got BEEF!
I'M DOWN!
Our friends seem to have backup.
So, WASSUUUP!? It looks like the numbers in this school have slightly changed to our advantage!
You MAY have the upper hand...FOR NOW!...We'll be back!
Without OC', we'd bust yo asses!
Let's go fuk wit Charlie Tuna!

 

by MadMan
10-05-01
Hey, Bluefish, OC'.
Wut's goin on guys?
Chillin'?
Next time ya come round lookin fer SeaWeed, lemme kno, we'll give you an escort.
Thanx Dolly, you and yer buds came thru once again!
Speakin o' BUDS, where's Redfish?

 

by MadMan
10-05-01
And as our story ends...
While the Sharks were chasin ya, I went to get the SeaWeed!
Smooth move dude. Let's get to PARTAAAYIN'!
The PARTAAAY BEGINS!!!...
AHHH! Bionic Chronic Hydro!
Yeah boyeee!
...WELL...for SOME!
Can I get in on sum o' dat shit!?
YOU WEREN'T INVITED! GET TA STEPPIN'! HAHAHAHAHAAA!

 

by MadMan
10-06-01
Where are you taking me, Death Angel?
I'm taking you to where Metal-Is, Devin.
Where might that be?
WHERE METAL-IS!
I HATE when he does that
Always with the questions!

 

by MadMan
10-06-01
Thank you! This next song is called, "Don't Spill Me Pint!"
GGGRRRRRR!!!
We shall have none of your False Metal, now that the TROO WARRIOR is here!
Fungacide will CRUSH YOU LIKE BUG!
You shouldn't go talkin shit where Metal-Is!

 

by MadMan
10-07-01
We, who are not as others!...Call me the Wizard!
Hhmmm? A place where I can get laid ALL the time...c'mon Bimbeeni, THINK!
Hi, I'm Glasswalker. I'm into metal, tattoos, piercings, playing guitar and not getting laid...can't you tell?
Glasswalker, clean yer teeth, put on yer best clobber, tonite's the nite, I take you out fer a nobber! Ollie will get ya laid!
I'm Buckcherry's Gal, I like rock 'n' fuckin roll baby!...and ice-cream! GEE! My hair smells terrific!
They call me Mark, because I leave my mark wherever I go. I was born on the 6th day, of the 6th month, of the 6th year of creation...NOW FUCK OFF!

 

by MadMan
10-07-01
I am Charlie...The Evil Badger...I have Alternate Personalities that come and go at a moments notice.
They come out whenever I need them!...Doesn't my Snoochie Boochie smell NICE?
I usually can hold my own, but...
When you REALLY PISS ME OFF...that's when the Evil Badger comes out!...I have others, so BEWARE!
If they could only see my Snoochie-Boochie now!
CONFOOZLED? Hehehe, I'll never tell!
Uh-Oh! Gotta BOUNCE!!!

 

by MadMan
10-07-01
C'mon Black Vixen, you kno' I'm down fer everything you are, but I got a bad feelin bout this!
Three-somes are good...THAT'S FINAL!
Yeah, I agree! BUT!...That all depends on the anatomy of the third person!
Have a beer and loosen up, Stone Cold!
Why Stone Cold, what a luverly shirt you have on.
MARK, I DON'T KNO' WHY I AGREED TO DO THIS!

 

by MadMan
10-07-01
Dude, this is cool! Now we can double our chances in scorin with chics!
Are you talkin ta me?
Yeah, I'm talkin ta me!
Go fuck yerself!
Apparently I wouldn't fuck me with MY dick!
NEVER MIND!

 

by MadMan
10-07-01
Hhmmm, which web site should I troll today, let's see...
uh-oh...
Huh?...Who?...WHAT the fuck are you?
I AM E-CRUSHER! You motherfucking E-teamer wanker, go chop ya bollocks off and pour vinegar on the wound...SCUM!! We have a place for people like you!
THANK YOU, OH CRUSHER OF E-TEAMERS! Now FUCK OFF you kangaroo raping, shit fisted, mummies boy!
...MUMMIE!!!...

 

by MadMan
10-07-01
Yo, those're nice pants.
They should be THEY'RE YOURS!
OK...gimme a kiss!
Dude, I told you...I'm NOT fuckin GAY!
YOU FUCKIN LOOK IT!

 

by MadMan
10-08-01
RAAH! Mungawa tinbata inda booty, neh cawk Zi tata!
Don' choo be givin me dat tribal accent booshit, ahm not a toorist, yoo no!?...So wut's ya name, anyhow?
YAAATOOB!!!
?
TAXI!

 

by MadMan
10-08-01
The battle between Fungacide and the TROO WARRIOR continued backstage...
GIVE UP FUNGACIDE! YOU ARE NO MATCH FOR MY TROO POWERS!
Fuckin' wank stain!
I am your BIGGEST fan Fungacide and I have come to aid you in your fight against the TROO WARRIOR!
Your Snoochie-Boochie Head Grip is TOO POWERFUL for me, Charlie...The Evil Badger!
TAKE ME NOW FUNGA'! While you can!...BOUNCE BABY! TITS OUT fer LMNH!
Be gentile Badge'...or if you'd like, I'll just go away!

 

by MadMan
10-09-01
Drop your weapon! You are my prisoner!
FUCK YOU! Drop YOUR weapon, YOU are MY prisoner!
YOU ARE ONE OF THEM!
I'm GREY...not GREEN! Wassup wit dat!?
Orders were to destroy all armies that begin with the letter "G"! THAT'S WASSUUUP!

 

by MadMan
10-09-01
Them fuckers at Metal-Is nailed me back up on the cross! I can no longer troll their site!
GOOD! You were leaving your warm, creamy, wank stains on my keyboard anyway!
I challenged them and FAILED! I was DENIED salvation! h
"MetalManiax" cannot be destroyed! Drink their blood and YOU BECOME ONE OF THEM!
I GOT YOUR RAGING COCK SERPENT RIGHT HERE, MOTHER FUCKER!

 

by MadMan
10-09-01
Them fuckers at Metal-Is nailed me back up on the cross. I can no longer troll their site.
GOOD! You were leaving your warm, creamy, wank stains on my keyboard anyway!
I challenged them and FAILED! I was DENIED salvation! I AM A TROO LOOSER!
The MetalManiax cannot be destroyed! Drink their blood and YOU BECOME ONE OF THEM!
*mmm*...*slurp*...hey there big guy...!
I GOT YOUR RAGING COCK SERPENT RIGHT HERE, MOTHER FUCKER!

 

by MadMan
10-09-01
HI GUY'S! WELCOME TO METAL ANGELS ONE-STOP TRUCK-FUCK! WHO WANTS TO BE FIRST!?
It seems the guys were turned off...
...by the TESTICLE HEADED BITCH!
OUTTA MY WAY!!!

 

by MadMan
10-09-01
I miss my man.
Where's my toy.
Mmmm...
oooohh...
UNGH! AHH! AYIEEE!...
AAHHH! YESSSSS!

 

by MadMan
10-10-01
Mirror! Mirror! On the wall!
Who's the fairest of them all?
NOT YOU, BITCH!

 

by MadMan
10-12-01
Ah well insomnia or boredom strikes and once again I am the only one posting.
Tralalalalala...I'll keep singing til someone wakes up...tralalalalala...
...zzzzzz...
...will someone please put her to bed and out of her misery...

 

by MadMan
10-12-01
Wheeeeeee! Hello! I never did Krackaoke before...tee hee! So be nice.
yay
"You give lo-o-ove a bad name! Shot thru the heart! Woaoaoaoaoahhhhhhh!"
NOOO! Not Jon bon Blowme!!!
She starts HeadBanging, then jumps on the microphone and gives it some
Somebody stop me! Please! While my clothes are still on!First man to gently take me by the hand and lead me to the door gets a kiss!
WOO-HOO! Allright! Jon bon Jovi, YEAH!

 

by MadMan
10-13-01
Just kinda wanna apologize. I ended up pissin you off, sorry! I don't know what I'll do, if I'm not forgiven!
It made a real big impression on me. You'll have to stroke my keyboard to make me feel better!
Is that all! You know I'd do anything for you!
I think I should warn you...I have a VIRUS! Do you have protection?
OH, I GOT PROTECTION ALLRIGHT!
You've got mail!

 

by MadMan
10-13-01
I dunno Charlie, this doesn't seem like the way to Yaaatoob's tent!
C'mon Bimb', my Badger senses tell me...IT'S THIS WAY!
We're gettin further away from the Meet-Up. Maybe we should go back?
He said, "Cum for a HotBox nite in his tent later!" And quite frankly...I'M HORNY!!!
Where the hell are they? I told them I was in the Pit of Skank at the stream!

 

by MadMan
10-13-01
Before I buy tickets to the gig, who wants to meet in the Devonshire Arms?
Why are you trying to hide the fact that you wanna fuck me?!
Me and Black Angel will be there, not sure what time though.
Hey Scorps, Transgeneticmutant Metalheadfucknut will be there!
Yaaatoob too!
Wizzkid will be there, sportin 'is new look, havin a good time n gettin drunk!

 

by MadMan
10-15-01
MaaahBoo, you have been loving Yaaatoob long time.
MaaahBoo love Yaaatoob.
There is something that I have to say, it is important to me. I've never said to anyone before.
He's going to say those three little words that every girl wants to hear?
Suck my dick?

 

by MadMan
10-17-01
Welcome to Maniac Mansion. I am the Metal-Is Maniac. This is the Viewing Room, where we watch live performances and video's of the top bands showcased here at Metal-Is!
This is the Torture Chamber, where we send all E-Teaming Trolls and those that claim to be TROO!
It's also where we practice our S&M bondage techniques! OOOH! TIE ME UP NOW, MANIAC!!!
What would Fungacide say???
Well, what are you waiting for Charlie??? GET YA ASS IN HERE!
CUMMMING!!!

 

by MadMan
10-20-01
Hangin out again? Don't you have anything better to do?
What are you a fuckin smart ass!?
You could use some deodorant you know!
TROO.
WHOA!...AND FOR GOD'S SAKE CHANGE THAT DAMN DIAPER!
That's easier said than done.

 

by MadMan
10-20-01
C'mon, you said you were going to give it to me!
UNGH!
Give it to me NOW! Or I'll take it myself! HEEYYAAA!
OW! O.K.! O.K.! I'LL GIVE IT TO YOU!
That's more like it!
This isn't exactly what I meant by "giving it to you!"

 

by MadMan
10-21-01
Hey! Wankstain! World suffering...a good thing or not?
Is this a trick question?
C'mon daddy's boy...answer the question!

 

by MadMan
10-24-01
Well, the lights are on, that means the coast is clear!
Who is it?
Your sex machine is here!
Mmmm...Hi Guy!
JESUS CHRIST! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOIN HERE!?

 

by MadMan
10-25-01
"You've got mail."

 

by MadMan
10-26-01
Well! Hello little girl, what can I do for you?
Hi mister, I'm sellin girl scout cookies, would you be interested in buyin any?
Selling cookies door-to-door is a nowhere job. Would you be interested in a babysitting job?
I can do babysitting, me and my twin sister watch our lil brother all the time.
(This just keeps getting better) Why don't you bring her as well, I do have more than one child.
Hey Raven Jezebel!...This guy wants to fuck us!

 

by MadMan
10-26-01
Hey buddy! How's it hangin?
My good friend, you need a good ass whoopin!
Well then, come down off your high horse and let's settle this...once and for all!
Now!?...uh...I can't!
Against yer religon, eh?
I just got my nails done!

 

by MadMan
10-29-01
...Mmm...ooh yeah...right there...Oh!...UGH!...YES!...
Hehehe... ...*moan*... ...ahh... ...*groan*...
OOH! Give it to me...UGH!... ...HARDER!... ...FASTER!... OH! YES!...I'M...
Ooh yeah! That's it! ...*ugh*... Fuck dat azz! UGH!...*grunt*... OOH-OOH! UNNGH!
...CUMMING! AI-EEE!

 

by MadMan
10-29-01
Thank You for registering at Metal-Is!
Duh... d'oh dee d'oh dee d'oh-d'oh... d'oh-d'oh-d'oh!
TOPIC: When was the last time you had sex?
Uh-huh uh-huh! A little while ago! Uh-huh uh-huh! Wit "Edward Penis Hands"... Uh-huh! Uh-huh!
You have performed an illegal operation.
Duh, guess I'll go watch "American Buttman in London" again! Uh-huh! Uh-huh!

 

by MadMan
11-06-01
Zo! Yew zink zat yoo can compete vit der MadMan'z comix?!
C'mon, don't tell me they weren't funny!
Yez dey ver! Zat iz vy I haf to zend yoo avay!
S'matta, 'fraid of a lil' competition?
Zere vill be no competing at zee Dead Elf's Grave, vere yoo are goink!

 

by MadMan
11-06-01
And now, the moment you've all been waiting for. The unveiling of my manufactured_gOd!...
?
Oh well, back to the drawing board!

 

by MadMan
11-06-01
What was your previous occupation, before applying for unemployment?
General Asshole.
We have alot of General Asshole openings around here! Why are you unable to work?
Rustedpieces, damn it!

 

by MadMan
11-07-01
I hate it when my buzz goes away, that shit sucks! WHAT!?
Not me!
Why not? WHAT!?
Why should I care about YOUR buzz!

 

by MadMan
11-08-01
Hey CherryGal, where ya goin?
Hi Wizzkid, I just finished my homework and I'm goin for a 10" pizza and double expresso, wanna come?
I can't do my homework.
Why not?
I'M NOT HOME!
Wizzkid, you so crazy! Forget the pizza, let's go inside, I got a biology project you can help me with, heh heh heh! !

 

by MadMan
11-08-01
Eww! Can I help you?
How can you forget me? I just gave you a blow job in the park last night!?
(thank god it was dark)...So what the fuck ya want, wench?
Did you forget about our date?
NOT TOO DAMN MUCH!
D-oh!

 

by MadMan
11-08-01
*zzzip!*
Hey fellas! Looky here!
mmm...glub glub glup...slurp...ulp
Down here!...Wahee!
That'll be CASH. No checks, money orders, or food stamps, gramps.
Ya got change fer a dolla?

 

by MadMan
11-08-01
Wut'cha drinkin there, dude?
Jim Beam.
Can I git a swig o' dat shit?
NO WAY! It's a VERY RARE bottle of Jim Beam!
Oh yeah, wut makes it so rare?
It's VERY RARE that I get to DRINK IT!

 

by MadMan
11-11-01
Hi CherryGal. Can I ask you a question?
Why of course Edge', you can ask me anything, go right ahead.
I've had my eye on you for a long time now. I was wonderin if you would...uh...like to...erm...go out together sometime?
Oh Edge', you're so cute. You're too young to be dating me.
OK, how about a blowjob?
@%?#!*&!

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