All comics by MaynardsDick

Profile

 

by MaynardsDick
6-29-03
I seriously think we should have sex.
HMM...maaayyb -
PLEASE?!?!! We NEVER have sex!!!
DUDE! We had sex two days ago. What the fuck?!
SO? You wanna? Your dad won't be home for another five minutes! I'll make it real QUICK!
Time for sleep...

 

by MaynardsDick
6-29-03
WHOA.
YEAH.
We are so like our goddamn selves.
If somebody asked us if we wanted an ice cream cone, we would BOTH say yes at the same goddamn time.
WHA?
I really need to lay off this shit, man. Catch ya later.

 

by MaynardsDick
6-29-03
GUHH!
YEAH!
GGRUGGHH!
OH YEAH!
Can I join, guys?!
fuck.

 

by MaynardsDick
6-29-03
I AIN'T NO FAGGOT. Fuck some TEXAS' "sodomy's alright" laws!
Hey, man...you like porn right?! Well, do you like to watch JUST girl on girl shit?
No, dude. I watch some of that hardcore fucking! Some couple action!
So, do you like to watch a girl getting fucked by a limp, weak-ass wanker?
Naw, man! I like HARD, THROBBING COCK!
......that's what I thought, BIOTCH.

 

by MaynardsDick
6-29-03
He's gonna be here in a couple hours...Gonna go light some candles, put on some Bjork, shave my legs - a little, maybe even wear some white!
Oh, tonight's gonna be sooo nice. We can snuggle, talk, maybe he can ease my tension, I can ease his stress...and if all goes well, maybe we can be lost in pure love-making oblivion...
Hey baby!!!
Can we have sex?

 

by MaynardsDick
6-29-03
WUDOIN sucks my scrotum.
...yeah, it really does...
HAHAHAAAA!
Shut up.

 

by MaynardsDick
6-29-03
DUDE! I am sooo stttouned! I kahnt evn feele my legz!
yeah...
Heh....heh heh....hehehee............ SHIT! I think I'm getting SOBER! QUICK! PASS ME THE PIPE!
ugghh...
DUDE! Hurry up! I'm starting to spell rite and shit!
yeah...

 

by MaynardsDick
6-29-03
DUDE! Make a comic about MEEE!!!
*...You're SO vain...you prob'ly think this song is about you, don't you...*
Heh...
WHAT?!

 

by MaynardsDick
6-30-03
DUDE...you're snoring. STOP.
KRUGGHH..wwhooo KKRUGHH...whhoooo - huh? what?
YOU'RE SNORING, babe! I can't sleep!!!
Oh...sorry...
So..... you want me?????
KRUGGHH..wwhooo KKRUGHH...whhoooo

 

by MaynardsDick
6-30-03
Do you love me, lady?
Of course I do, you sweet, darling member of the animal kingdom!
GAH! Not cool.
Hey man, I got here first! Find your own feast, freckled freak!
So, do I win?
Ummm......sure! The horns might be interesting... *Sorry, baby!*

 

by MaynardsDick
6-30-03
You know, man...I really fucking hate it when people discriminate against peoples' religion. Especially mine. I'm a pagan.
Lemme guess......you play with those damn MAGIC cards and live via RPG's...
Dude, try and comprehend: It is not a ROLE that we PLAY...it is an essence of BEING that we inhabit, that we breathe life into. You just don't understand. I mean, I can CONTROL things with my powers..
Right...that's why you work for 12 hours a day at a tech-support company. Because of your stupifying powers.
....uhhh.......YEAH!
That's it. I'm starting my own god damn religion. Timothy Leary, here I come.

 

by MaynardsDick
6-30-03
Hi! My name is Andrew Gaman. What's YOURS?
Gaahn.
Well, Gan...you clearly have some issues. Let's discuss, so that I can attempt to make you question your belief system, while in actuality, I'm revealing my severe insecurities and hidden homosexualt-
Dude...it's all good.
NO, i disagree. It's NOT all good. Your people are TERRORIZING the nation! Either you're with us or against us! Damn terrorist...Take those glasses off and LOOK ME IN THE EYE you COWARD!
Well, Andy, it was nice meeting you... *ho humm...*

 

by MaynardsDick
6-30-03
Heya there, kids!
We're the starting point for making your own comic!
Whoa. I just realized I'm a girl...

 

by MaynardsDick
6-30-03
DAMNIT, PASHA!

 

by MaynardsDick
6-30-03
Hi...sorry to disturb you, but I've heard from a MANY number of sources that you've stolen my House of Leaves...and if you don't mind, I'd kind of like it back...
UM, NO! You dumb bitch! Get up outta my face! That book is MINE, aight?! It has a signature in it...a big "Z"...I would know, it's MINE!
That proves NOTHING to me, other than the fact that you have indeed opened the book. Congratulations...quite an accomplishment for someone as braindead as you. Listen, just let me see the book, aight?
No. Go away! I TOLD YOU it was mine! *Now, I'm gonna go inside and bitch for a ridiculous amount of time to my pathetic friends about what a bitch you are - even though I know the book is yours...*
Finally...
Here! This is MY BOOK! But take it, and if I ever see you again, I'll call the fucking COPS! *Oh god, am I embarrased...Oh well, at least she didn't also ask for the laundry detergent that I stole...*

 

by MaynardsDick
6-30-03
Dude, these comics fucking suck.
They're really not even funny - they make no sense. I mean, really, is she just making these pieces of shit to amuse herself?!
*blah blah blah, bitch bitch bitch*
Hahahahahhahahahahaaa ha hah ha hahah h hahaha h haaa... you figured me out, boys.

 

by MaynardsDick
7-01-03
Sooo......have any of you guys ever caught your parents in the act of fucking?
Man, that would really suck. See, I've never barged in on my Dad and his wife...I can't even imagine what I'd do...
But then again, I'd almost rather see that. I mean, everyone fucks. But no, no. As I was looking in my father's bedside table for the remote, I found a tube of K-Y jelly right next to a gun...Oh man.

 

by MaynardsDick
7-01-03
damn, have i got gas or what...

 

by MaynardsDick
7-01-03
I think I want to have sex tonight...
I'll be right there, don't go anywhere! GAH!

 

by MaynardsDick
7-01-03
Hey, man...what do you get when you cross a Sabre-tooth Tiger with Elton John?
Umm......I have no clue. What do you get?
I have NO idea either, but keep it the HELL away from my ass.

 

by MaynardsDick
7-02-03
woohoo! seduce me...then let's have sex!
ok!
*despite the fact that the reader has no clue what's going on, which might be a good thing* this feels REALLY good, babe! Keep going.
No, fuck that, you're taking too damn long. Why don't you want me anymore?
What the fuck?!
That's it. I'm leaving. I can't take this anymore.

 

by MaynardsDick
7-02-03
I think I need some time away from you.
wha? why?
Actually, I think we needed some time together. But since that didn't work out so well...maybe a break would be good. You know, come back needing eachother.
yeah, i guess.
I'm sorry
me too.

 

by MaynardsDick
7-04-03
GOD! This pain is ridiculous. I mean, I LOVE being a female, but MAN does it suck. But here's how I look at it: it's better to deal with all this menstruation shit, than to NOT. You know?!
I can have sex with you in four days.
Now, THAT'S how I look at it.

 

by MaynardsDick
7-06-03
Why does Chik-fil-A have to be closed on Sundays?! Fucking Christians.
I'm going to open up a satanic fast food place that's ONLY open on Sundays.
I'll call it, Fuck-fil-A. Damn I'm smart.

Showing page 1.